The church I always wanted to get married in will not be available..change the church or the season?

Re: The church I always wanted to get married in will not be available..change the church or the season?

• PirateBarbie member

  

  April 2014

  courtneyhindo said:

  Hi all!

  I just got engaged last weekend and the first thing I did was call the church where I belong to reserve. I've never gone anywhere else, received all my sacraments there growing up and even worked at the school there for 2 years. October 2015 will be construction time during the church and I received some pictures of what the church might look like and it's really not an option for me during October. Construction runs from September-November so I either have to pick a different season and get married at my preferred parish, or remain in October (which has always been my dream) and get married at a different church.

  
  

  What would you do? What will mean more? I can't decide.

  
  

  Thanks!

  Ultimately, does it mean more to you to get married in October 2015, or at that church? Is waiting until October 2016 a possibility, so you can have both date and church? 

  
  

  What does your FI want? You haven't mentioned his opinion at all. He should have some say in this as well. 

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• GBCK member

  

  April 2014

  we tend to answer questions w/ other questions today, i think.

  Beyond 'what does he think?"

  is the timeframe important for other reasons?  (where you live?  insurance?  legal protections?  etc)

  
  

  If your church isn't available, what are your other options? (my church was mid-construction when we got married, so we found an awesome wedding chapel--a deconsecrated church that was actually better than the church, IMO.  But I never even knew it existed before then)  Are any of them good?

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• knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 member

  

  April 2014

  He said that whatever I want to do is fine with him because he knows how important that church is to me, but that if it doesn't matter to me what we do that he would prefer October 2015 in a different church.

  
  

  I don't think we want to wait til the following year, it's just too far away. 

  
  

  As far as options, we have 2 other local churches I would consider getting married at, but it just won't feel like "home" to me. My fiancee and his family don't regularly attend church and don't have as strong as feelings about this as I do. I just am having a hard time deciding between the month or the church. 

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  April 2014

  I'll offer this perspective: 

  
  

  I really wanted to get married in my home parish (I'm Catholic). I received my Baptism, First Holy Communion, and Confirmation in that church. My parents still attend weekly. My mom is the organist. My dad is the DRE. I really, really, REALLY wanted to get married in that church.

  
  

  The priest said no way to letting me and DH have our wedding there because we wanted to get married on a Sunday (10.13, our two favourite numbers). He suggested we pick another date -- like Oct. 12 -- in order to have it in that church.

  
  

  Ultimately, we decided our date was more important, for a lot of reasons (we had a relatively short engagement -- about 10 months -- so not a lot was available when we started looking in January for our October wedding).

  
  

  We ended up having our wedding in the Catholic church my father had grown up attending, and which had a lot of sentimental value for him. I was worried that it wouldn't feel like 'home' to me, either, because it wasn't the church I grew up going to and it wasn't the church DH and I attended regularly, but in the end, filled with our friends and family, it felt like home on our wedding day.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 member

  

  April 2014

  Thanks so much, I really appreciate it.

  
  

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• mellyD2014 member

  

  April 2014

  @courtneyhindo You may want to inquire if perhaps the priest/deacon from your parish could marry you at one of the other churches. I don't know if all parishes will do this, but one of my cousin's did something similar. That way you can have the season you want and a little piece of your parish there with you.
  

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• PirateBarbie member

  

  April 2014

  mellyD2014 said:

  @courtneyhindo You may want to inquire if perhaps the priest/deacon from your parish could marry you at one of the other churches. I don't know if all parishes will do this, but one of my cousin's did something similar. That way you can have the season you want and a little piece of your parish there with you.
  

  My SIL did something similar. She had her daughters baptized at her current parish by a priest that she knew from the Catholic (club? society?) at her university. 

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• bananasplit472001 member

  

  April 2014

  Get married after the construction if you really want the ceremony there.  If you must get married in October of 2015 then you need to pick another ceremony venue.

  

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