Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Registry and Gift Forum
Registry and Gift Forum
New Discussion
Options

HELP. This is the area of planning I'm most clueless on.

thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
edited April 2014 in Registry and Gift Forum
FI and I are getting married 10/11/14 with 80-100 guests. We're getting married in a different state from where we live. I feel completely clueless when it comes to registering. Please help! 

1. When should we register? My grandma is throwing me a bridal shower in September, so I know before that. But how long before? Would it be tacky to register now? 

2. How many places is appropriate to register for our guest list? Is it ok to only register at one store? Do we have to do at least one generic store (like Target)? 

3. How many items should be on each registry? 

4. Since we live out of state, is there any nice way to ask that gifts be mailed or that we receive cash or gift cards instead? I really didn't even want to do a registry for this reason, but I don't want to be rude to our guests. If we do get a bunch of gifts at the wedding, the only thing I can think to do is return them there and then rebuy them after we fly home. 

5. I know registry info only goes on the website and absolutely not on the invitations. I was horrified to find out that Bed, Bath and Beyond gives you cards for your invitations that say the couple is registered there. This makes me not even want to use BB&B. Any other etiquette things I should know about registering? Thank you!
Report Reply to Post

Re: HELP. This is the area of planning I'm most clueless on.

  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    FI and I are getting married 10/11/14 with 80-100 guests. We're getting married in a different state from where we live. I feel completely clueless when it comes to registering. Please help! 

    1. When should we register? My grandma is throwing me a bridal shower in September, so I know before that. But how long before? Would it be tacky to register now? You can register whenever you like.  It is not tacky now because the only time you share your registry information is when people ask you about it.  Just be careful about store turnover and things becoming discontinued, so keep an eye on your registry.

    2. How many places is appropriate to register for our guest list? Is it ok to only register at one store? Do we have to do at least one generic store (like Target)? You can register at one store or multiple stores.  I think three is a good number.  I also think it is good to register at a more generic store since it will be available to most of your guests.

    3. How many items should be on each registry? How many items is really up to you and your FI.  I wouldn't just add random things to meet a certain number.  What you should be worried about is that you have a good variety in prices.  You don't want to just register for high end items.  Register for what you both want but keep prices in mind  and make sure that you have a good amount of items under $50 since many guests (especially for showers) tend to like multiple items instead of just one thing.

    4. Since we live out of state, is there any nice way to ask that gifts be mailed or that we receive cash or gift cards instead? I really didn't even want to do a registry for this reason, but I don't want to be rude to our guests. If we do get a bunch of gifts at the wedding, the only thing I can think to do is return them there and then rebuy them after we fly home. A shower is meant to shower the bride with physical gifts, not cash or gift cards.  If you are accepting a shower out of town then you need to be prepared to get those gifts home either by sending them via USPS or FedEx or by bringing an extra piece of luggage.  Most guests will know that you are coming from out of town and will most likely buy you smaller items but you need to be prepared for any larger items.  If you don't want to deal with getting the gifts home then you should decline the shower.

    5. I know registry info only goes on the website and absolutely not on the invitations. I was horrified to find out that Bed, Bath and Beyond gives you cards for your invitations that say the couple is registered there. This makes me not even want to use BB&B. Any other etiquette things I should know about registering? A lot of places will give you insert cards.  They don't care about etiquette.  Just because they give you insert cards doesn't mean you need to use them or not register with that store.  I am in the camp where I don't think registry information should be placed on your website.  I find the website is an extension of your invitations and the only reason people will be looking at your website is because you provided that information either on a STD or on the invitation.  The only invitation where registry information can be included is on bridal shower invitations.

    As for additional etiquette pertaining to registries.  HM registries or cash registries are a big no-no.  Asking for cash in anyway is considered rude. People already know that cash is a great gift to give for weddings.  Also HM registries can be very deceitful because the purchaser thinks that they are buying you a romantic dinner when in fact all you are getting is a check from the website (minus a fee).  No reservations, no lobster, no nothing.

     Thank you!

    Report Reply
  • Options
    thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Maggie0829 Thanks! Very helpful. So on the subject of physical gifts - I have a way to get them back home to me after the shower. FI is going to be moving here shortly after my shower and so the shower gifts will just go in the Uhaul with his stuff. It's the wedding gifts that I'm more worried about getting here. Would just returning most of the items there, getting the store credit, and then rebuying them here be a bad thing to do? It just seems cheaper than trying to mail all of it. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    If you keep your registries small, most things will be fulfilled at your shower. Then people will be more likely to give a check at the wedding. Any of the weddings I've been to have had very few physical gifts on the table and lots of cards.
    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Honestly if most of the weddings that you have been to are anything like the ones I have been to, there have been very few gifts (like a handful) and a lot more envelopes. Just keep some room in your luggage and you should be fine.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    csuavecsuave member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited April 2014

    Your registry should be up by the time the shower invitations go out.  Mine was up about a month before the shower and I continued to work on it all the way until the shower. 

    A good registry will have a variety of items in different price points.  The stores you choose should be convenient to where the shower guests live.  If you only pick one and it is convenient, then that is fine.  Two or three registires will offer more choice but be more work to create.

    I would aim to have 2-3 items on your registry for every person invited to the shower.  I had about 2 per person and it was just barely enough selection so 3 would be better.

    For the wedding, depending on where you live most people will probably give cash.  If you have a lot of registry items still left, however, it may increase your chances of getting boxed gifts.  IMO, if I were you I would hide the registry from view on the internet after the shower.  Then if people ask where you are registered you can either tell them so they can look it up in the store or tell them you are not registered.   

    We basically shut our registry down after our shower and told people that asked we were saving up to do landscaping at our house.  All of the people that asked gave us either cash or Home Depot gift cards.   

    FWIW, we had a great experience with BBB.  We did most of it online and didn't even get the registry cards that way.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    audubonbride2013audubonbride2013 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    My wedding was a few hours from where my H and I live.  We had 2 fairly large registries since we were just starting out and needed a lot of basics.  Because our registries were large we received a number of boxed gifts for the wedding, but almost all of the gifts were shipped to our apartment ahead of time or shortly after the wedding.  We ended up with very little to take home with us after the wedding and even with our large registries about half the gifts we received were cash/check.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    wandajune6wandajune6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    We have the same wedding date! My shower will be in early-August and I'm just starting to register now.

    I can't speak to things like the numbers of items to register but I can say that most people will have the gifts delivered to your home. I've never brought a gift to a wedding and rarely see it happen.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bananasplit472001bananasplit472001 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    thelastdreamer said:
    FI and I are getting married 10/11/14 with 80-100 guests. We're getting married in a different state from where we live. I feel completely clueless when it comes to registering. Please help! 

    1. When should we register? My grandma is throwing me a bridal shower in September, so I know before that. But how long before? Would it be tacky to register now? 

    Whenever you want to register, but before the shower invitations go out.

    2. How many places is appropriate to register for our guest list? Is it ok to only register at one store? Do we have to do at least one generic store (like Target)? 

    Many people only register at one store, but there is no problem with registering for a few.  As long as all of the registry's include gifts under $50 and gifts under $100 so there is something for every budget. 

    3. How many items should be on each registry? 
     Generally stores suggest you to register for twice as many gifts as people you invited.

    4. Since we live out of state, is there any nice way to ask that gifts be mailed or that we receive cash or gift cards instead? I really didn't even want to do a registry for this reason, but I don't want to be rude to our guests. If we do get a bunch of gifts at the wedding, the only thing I can think to do is return them there and then rebuy them after we fly home. 

    I would just register for smaller items, or arrange to ship all gifts back via fed-ex.  Sometimes at showers people give a ton of gifts and a few give gift cards and cash.  You will need to prepare and assume you will be getting a few gifts.  I would not go through the hassle of returning them and buying them again.  Some people will even know to just send them to your house, but make sure to acknowledge those people at the shower when opening gifts. 

    5. I know registry info only goes on the website and absolutely not on the invitations. I was horrified to find out that Bed, Bath and Beyond gives you cards for your invitations that say the couple is registered there. This makes me not even want to use BB&B. Any other etiquette things I should know about registering? Thank you!
    You need to register for gifts in all price ranges.  Do not be afraid to put a $5.00 spatula on the registry thinking no one will buy it because they probably will.  I just went to a shower where almost everyone made gift baskets for the bride and bought ALL of their utensils.  Also do not be afraid to register for a $500 vacuum if you really want it.  You may not get it but  there's always a chance that someone will be generous.  Just make sure everyone that wants to buy from your registry will be able to afford the gifts.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards