Newly Engaged! Let the drama begin...

chicky1988 · April 2014

Hey all! I am sooo excited my FI proposed less than a week ago! We've been together over 3 years and it seems like a dream come true!!

That being said I need some advice, pls, pls, pls

My FSIL got engaged the week before we did (I am very happy for them) but even though they knew when my FI was going to propose (he told them when he set up the reservations -- before they were engaged) neither one will speak to us! We were even in the same room with them and they said nothing to us then quickly left. We have been engaged less than a week and already the drama is starting, which is something I really don't want! This is hurting both my FI and his family and I have no idea what to do. His family told me this is just her and to prepare myself for her to make this a competition, but I don't want that! Our wedding is supposed to be a joyous event and already people are dreading it bc of this drama

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance

AddieCake · April 2014

They won't speak to you because you got engaged around the same time? To that, I say oh, well. They can get over it or look like assholes.

chicky1988 · April 2014

Apparently, we "stole their thunder"...

AddieCake · April 2014

They sound too immature for marriage.

manateehugger · April 2014

Seriously, ignore FSIL and her FI. They are being stupidly ridiculous. There's no monopolies on engagement timing.

Don't talk to her about your wedding; if she asks about something, say you haven't made any decisions yet. Ignore any comments she makes about it.

For your own sanity, plan your date a ways away from hers and then plan your wedding how you want.

And shame on FI's family for thinking this is acceptable behavior.

chicky1988 · April 2014

Thanks ladies, it helps just knowing that it's not something we did or should have expected

And I especially like the idea of a wedding date away from theirs!

emmyg65 · April 2014

Ignore them. Hopefully, they'll get over it. I'm sorry they're being so immature, but you did nothing wrong. Congratulations on your engagement!

MobKaz · April 2014

chicky1988 said:

Hey all! I am sooo excited my FI proposed less than a week ago! We've been together over 3 years and it seems like a dream come true!!

That being said I need some advice, pls, pls, pls My FSIL got engaged the week before we did (I am very happy for them) but even though they knew when my FI was going to propose (he told them when he set up the reservations -- before they were engaged) neither one will speak to us! We were even in the same room with them and they said nothing to us then quickly left. We have been engaged less than a week and already the drama is starting, which is something I really don't want! This is hurting both my FI and his family and I have no idea what to do. His family told me this is just her and to prepare myself for her to make this a competition, but I don't want that! Our wedding is supposed to be a joyous event and already people are dreading it bc of this drama Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance

It only becomes a competition if you make it one. Share as few details as possible. Expect the best but prepare for the worst. When picking a date, check with your VIP's and make sure it works for them. Run the date by your FIL's. Try to keep the date "quiet". Once the date is cleared with everyone, send inexpensive STD's to those VIP's. Anticipate your FSIL trying to set a date shortly before yours.

Do NOT, and this bears repeating, do NOT ask her to be a BM in an attempt to "fix" things or bring yourselves "closer". It will inevitably come back to bite you in the fanny.

Do not let FI's family convince you to "humor" FSIL in any way.

Ignoring a hungry bear will not make it go away. Someone needs to put this little girl in her place.

chicky1988 · April 2014

Thank you ladies for the advice!! I will definitely be using it!! I just read your comments to my FI and he is 100% on board as well-- we will NOT be feeding into this

bananasplit472001 · April 2014

I had this same issue with my twin sister. The only difference is she got engaged an entire year before us. She and her FI put up a big fight and ignored us for an entire week. At the end of that week they all of a sudden starting planning their wedding after not agreeing for an entire year. They did it to take attention of our engagement away from us and back onto them. It was really funny because they moved up their proposed wedding date six months and booked a venue only AFTER they found out about our engagement. She booked her dress appointment for 2 weeks later and bought the first gigantic princess gown she could get. It blew over for the most part after that. I wouldn't worry about it. If they can' t be happy for you how do they expect you to be happy for them?

chicky1988 · April 2014

@bananasplit472001 I'm glad to hear it blew over! Gives me hope

Newly Engaged! Let the drama begin...

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