FI causing me stress about wedding party

Re: FI causing me stress about wedding party

• abbyj700 member

  

  April 2014

  Honestly? He needs to grow up. How many attendants you have is not a competition. I was in a wedding in December that had 8 people on each side. Ours has 4 on each side. I've been at weddings with one on each side. I didn't sit and compare people and their loser status. It just seems rather immature to me. You're asking these people to share in your day with you - not stand up and show your awesome status cuz you have tons of friends.

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  April 2014

  So according to your FI I was a "loser" because I only had 2 BMs while H had 5 GMs?  I think your FI needs to get over it.

  
  

  And he shouldn't be blaming you for this at all.  You aren't making him look like anything.  He is the one acting weird for no reason at all.  I would just tell him, "I am sorry you feel that way.  No one will think you are a "loser" because you have less people then me.  The only one who can make you feel that way is yourself."  And leave it at that.

  
  

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• tammym1001 member

  

  April 2014

  I  have 4 BM's and FI only has one GM. It isn't because he doesn't have other friends he could ask and I doubt that anyone would think that. He just happened to only want one person to stand up with him. FWIW, he also didn't ask his GM until about 3 weeks ago and we are getting married in May. I asked my girls right away. I don't think that who stands up with me has anything to do with who stands up with him.

  
  

  If explaining to him that it's no big deal doesn't work then maybe you can tell him that you couldn't wait that long to ask your girls because they needed to buy dresses so you had to ask them sooner.

  
  

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• jenna8984 member

  

  April 2014

  My fiance doesn't have friends either. We each have two people on our side but then 80% of the guest list is mine. I felt bad and weird about it but he insists that he doesn't have anyone else to invite. I actually think it looks more meaningful to have less people. Once you get into the 6+ BM/GM, I start thinking how close are all these people, do they really ALL need to be there?!

                                                                   

  
  

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• mysticl member

  

  April 2014

  My husband had 1 attendant while I had 3. My husband is in the Navy and while he has several good friends they are scattered all over the world and are from different periods in his life. So he picked someone he was close to at the time of the wedding and who lived in the area. Meanwhile I had my BFF and 2 nieces as attendants.

  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  April 2014

  Your FI needs to out on his big-boy panties and deal. Ask him which of YOUR friends you were supposed to exclude so as to hew to his screwy ideas about WP sides.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Jen4948 member

  

  April 2014

  How many people you choose and who is something 1) your FI has no say in and 2) has no effect on who he chooses.  He's behaving like a jerk and needs to stop.
  

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  April 2014

  Thanks everyone, now I have good examples to provide to FI.

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• olleb4 member

  

  April 2014

  OP I feel your pain. My FI (with pushing from myself and FMIL) finally asked his closest friend to be his BM. He wanted 3-5 others and I said FINE, no problem. HE had the problem with it looking weird. They're all so different but one thing is for sure - they definitely are last minute types of people

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