Just Engaged and Proposals

Any Student Brides???

Ladies, I need some help.. 

How do you manage going to school and trying to plan a wedding? Do you ever feel stressed about it? What is too much to delegate to one person? I mean, I'm beginning to panic. I just want to achieve a balance... any advice? 

Re: Any Student Brides???

  • HaileyDancingbearHaileyDancingbear Arkham Asylum member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Do you have to get married right away?  I recently decided to switch from my 4 year art school to a makeup artistry course, so I'm done as far as classes go, but my FI is in his sophomore year majoring in information and library sciences (doesn't mean he's being a librarian, it's more of a research assistant position) so he's kept very busy with that, and because of that we've decided to hold off on the actual wedding until he's graduated.  
    If you search around on these threads the consensus seems to be that wedding planning is up to you and your FI, and you can't really rope others, especially your wedding party, into helping.  So a lot of it's going to fall on your shoulders.  
    If you can wait until you're done with school, I would seriously recommend you do.  College is expensive, you might as well get the most out of it by making it your primary concern right now, don't take the focus away from your work by piling on more responsibilities.  If you feel overwhelmed and stressed, that may be a sign that you just are trying to do too much at once. Also, wedding planning shouldn't be that stressful, you might benefit from waiting until you have more time to dedicate to it so it'll be more enjoyable.  I kinda like having a bit of a wait before I have to start booking anything, it lets me gather ideas and figure out what I want before I feel pressured to set anything into stone.
    If you really can't wait, maybe you can try doing your wedding planning in chunks when you have time off?  If you're going to be on winter break soon maybe that would be a good opportunity to get as much planning out of the way as you can so that you have less to worry about when you go back.  Same with summer.  I think if you're going to plan and go to school at the same time you're just going to have to sit down one day and figure out how to budget your time so that you can do both without freaking yourself out, taking advantage of any time off you get.  
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  • Well first, breathe. 

    I'm wrapping up my masters while planning our wedding. It's not bad, you just have to plan appropriately. Honestly, our engagement will be about 18 months so I could plan slowly. I'd recommend a longer engagement just to feel a little more sane.

    I set aside about two weeks on my Christmas break to basically book every vendor. I did internet research and emailed a couple during school and set up appointments for when I was home. I planned out everything in advance and now give myself a small DIY project a month. It's honestly not that hard. I'd also look at finding a venue with experience in holding weddings; having a venue coordinator/caterer will make life very easy. As for delegating - you shouldn't be delegating to anyone unless you hire a wedding planner. 

    This is nothing to panic over. Just organize your time and use it wisely. Instead of procrastinating in the library by dicking around on Facebook, email a couple vendors. I think TV has given us this impression that weddings take months and months of dedicated time, and that's really not true for the most part. Just give yourself the time to get everything done. 
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    emilie250Cruz506MegRynd
  • BlergbotBlergbot An enchanted land member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I'm headed into my last semester of grad school, and my problem isn't so much balancing planning with school (except right now, because it's finals and I've put off booking some stuff a little too long), rather that I spent all semester obsessing about my wedding, and not focused on school. This has made the rush to get things done in the end rather unpleasant...I feel like the initial planning frenzy is waning a bit now, so hopefully I can stay on top of things next semester. I'd better, since I still have to take my comps on top of my normal class/teaching load.
  • I second the heading over to "Students" section - they are awesome there.

    I just finished my master's, and I was planning my wedding during the last part.  Be reasonable and know yourself - I knew that I wanted to focus on school, so I did as much as I could during a break, and then did nothing (and I mean NOTHING) for wedding planning while I focused on my thesis.  It made the time after my thesis was done a little stressful since I was playing catch-up, but I got good grades, and that was more important to me. 

    emilie250
  • I'm waiting until after I finish my undergrad and right before I begin grad school. I'm taking a break so I can focus on wedding planning. There are times where I'd much rather plan and go through ideas than study or write papers, but just remind yourself that you need school in order to get married. It will help you in the future, and it will give you more financial stability for you and your future spouse. 


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  • I completely agree with what everyone else said. Here are some tips that are really helping me:

    - Save time by limiting appointments. Basically, figure out exactly what you want to know from a vendor ahead of time (the knot planning binder is super helpful for this, it provides lists of questions you'd probably want to ask each type of vendor), do research on their websites to answer as many of these answers as possible and to come up with a shortlist of those that fit with your wants/budget. Then, start start writing emails. Ask as many questions as possible in the emails so you can figure out ahead of time who could be suitable and who just wouldn't work. This helps because then you don't have to run around meeting ten vendors when you could have realized that eight of them won't suit your budget by asking relatively simple questions.

    - Choose a venue that does both ceremony and reception, and one that will help with setting up etc… Ceremony and reception venue means you don't have to worry about transportation and those logistics. Venue that provides extensive services means there's less to organize leading up to the wedding and on your wedding day itself. 

    - Have a longer engagement period if you're worried about planning and do most of it during breaks.

    - Don't become a slave to pinterest and wedding websites. Wedding planning can become obsessive. Don't let it get in the way of your studies!

    - If you want to save money with DIYs, choose them wisely. Do a bit of research to find out if they will actually save you money and figure out more or less how much time it will take to complete - if the balance isn't clearly on the side of saving money, don't bother (unless you take a lot of pleasure in projects, of course)

    Finally, I know everyone says that wedding planning takes a lot of time and energy, but it's really not that bad… Enjoy it!
    PennyBlossom2311
  • I am finishing up my BSW at the most crucial time for wedding planning (I will graduate with 2 months until the wedding). I did a lot over the summer, took fall semester off of wedding planning. Doing a lot this Christmas break and then some weekends through spring semester. As soon as I graduate I will delve into the final stuff. I do have an Aunt who has asked to do decorations as I pick them. She will be making the cake topper, I got all the items for center pieces and she is going to put them together as well as make the flower girl dresses. Another Aunt has asked to do my wedding cake as the gift. With a 23-month engagement I have had plenty of time to hear what people want to offer and decide what to go with.

    Just breathe and try to enjoy it!!!

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  • I'm a student, and a mom. My FI and I have a 9 month old daughter. I work 30 hours a week, and take 4 classes.

    My FI also works nights on an alternating schedule. It's tough. I'm taking full advantage of winter break to do as much planning as is possible. I made a long list of things I needed to do. :)
  • I am recently engaged (two nights ago) and I will be starting med school in august!


  • Congratulations!!!! thats fantastic!!!
  • I was a student when I got engaged. We have a 2 year long engagement so I could finish school before we got married. Honestly, planning while in school wasn't too terribly stressful. When I wasn't studying or working, I looked up vendors. My sister and bff also looked some up and sent them to me, which was awesome (don't delegate tasks to your BP though - if they offer, great! If not, oh well). We narrowed down vendors based on their prices, so we only had to go and check out a few during school breaks. I think we talked to 2 photographers, 1 DJ and 2 venues.




  • Same boat! I get stressed when I procrastinate...and I have been doing that with both school and the wedding.
    I think finances are another HUGE stress, so if you are on top of that it should work out okay.
    Just *try* to keep calm and realize that everything will work out, thats what our friends/family and fiance are for. Best of luck!
  • Hi! I recently got engaged a couple nights ago so I haven't  really started too heavy into the planning. My fiance and I are both students. 
  • I was a student when I got engaged (now married for 2+ years). We got engaged the last year of my bachelors, and got married 3 months after I graduated. That being said, in my mind it really wasn't that stressful or that big of a deal. I was organized and knew what we both wanted. Most of the planning etc. was through emails, and we only met with our florist and baker once and that was on the weekends leading up to the wedding. Caterer we signed a contract about 9 months before our wedding, and saw him twice. Our engagement was 11 months, and we managed fine. Just make sure you know what you want, set your budget and be organized. Pinterest was a big help, and at every appointment I had I brought photos. 
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I'm also a student!  We got engaged at the beginning of my 2L year of law school.  I will graduate in May and we are getting married almost exactly a year after graduation.

    Obviously we chose a long engagement to make saving and planning easier.  I highly recommend the long engagement route to take some of the stress off.  :)
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • Hello,

    I am the MOH for my best friend's wedding and was speechless with how much trouble she seemed to be having with planning her wedding. Every time we spoke something new was wrong or something fell through. Plans were changed and changed again. It really seemed like a full time job. When I got engaged, I was not looking forward to the planning as I work full time and am a full time student.

    The reality was so much easier than I expected. I found that the reason things seemed so chaotic and stressful before was becasue my friend was so unorganized and tried to book everything at once. She became so wrapped up in the lists and what "needed" to be done she stressed herself out. Below are a few things that I did that really helped and have really kept the stress off.

    - Make your own calendar. Use a detailed one as a guidline and only keep the parts that are important to you. (Those lists with 100 things to do can make anything seem overwhelming) Make the calendar fit to when your wedding is instead of just three months out or sic months out. (I'm getting married in August so I have things set as, in April do this, in may do this etc. 

    - Do one thing at a time. Since I am busy with work and school, I gave myself one task every so often to complete. Even if I finish early, I dont start something new until I reach my next date. It keeps me from being scattered a losing track of what I have done.

    -Coordinate fittings and appointments around school breaks. Stores may be a bit busier but chances are, you wont have to work or go to class and wont be rushed.

    -Take a breath and relax, once the venue is booked everything else is pretty easy peasy. Hiccups suck but, if you are organized they are minimal. At the end of the day, you are marrying the man or woman you love and that is all that matters. Dont lose sight of the big picture and enjoy yourself!

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  • I had a few classmates get married in nursing school, and one just got married the month after graduation. They were either lucky and didn't have to work while in school, or their families did everything for them. I opted for a 2 1/2 year engagement because I didn't want to worry about wedding planning while working full time and in school full time. As I anticipated, there are tons of hiccups, and I can't imagine dealing with it while I was in school. My fiance is still a student, so at least one of us got through school and can focus on all of this. It can be done, but it's a lot easier to wait until you can give it your 100% focus. 
  • I'm a student too. I'm doing my undergrad in forensic science, my fiance and I decided to wait until school ends for me so that way I don't feel so overwhelmed with everything, also we need to save up some more money. It's gonna be ultimately up to how you and your fiance feels about handling school and wedding planning at the same time, I know I wouldn't do it because I have a pretty busy work load right now.
  • I'm a junior double major in Public Relations and Dance. My fiancé is a junior double major in Chemistry and Biology with a minor in Physics, and we both have part-time jobs. He also has a job shadowing internship, and I'm on the dance team and President of my sorority. We just got engaged in December of 2013 and our wedding is set for June 21, 2014. I feel your pain!! Luckily, I have an amazing mother and an even more amazing MOH. I'm basically copying my wedding pinterest board, and I made my own wedding planner/organizer. I think you really just have to focus on one thing at a time. That's what has been helping me. It's hard not to look at cakes, decorations, flowers, and dresses all in one day, but it has really helped me to spend one day on something specific and then take the next day off from anything wedding related. I've been repeating that process for about a month now, and it has seriously helped!
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I'm a junior double major in Public Relations and Dance. My fiancé is a junior double major in Chemistry and Biology with a minor in Physics, and we both have part-time jobs. He also has a job shadowing internship, and I'm on the dance team and President of my sorority. We just got engaged in December of 2013 and our wedding is set for June 21, 2014. I feel your pain!! Luckily, I have an amazing mother and an even more amazing MOH. I'm basically copying my wedding pinterest board, and I made my own wedding planner/organizer. I think you really just have to focus on one thing at a time. That's what has been helping me. It's hard not to look at cakes, decorations, flowers, and dresses all in one day, but it has really helped me to spend one day on something specific and then take the next day off from anything wedding related. I've been repeating that process for about a month now, and it has seriously helped!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    KeptInStitches
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    @thefuturemrssisk I guess I feel the need to clarify before you get offended, that the little graph thing was intended to be light-hearted.  Comic Sans is sort of a joke on these boards.  But seriously Comic Sans is some annoying shit.

    I just feel so curious-- why the rush to get married?  Fi and I have been together since high school so I know the feeling I guess, but I just don't see the draw of being married while in undergrad.  
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • @JCBride2014 It's fine, I don't take offense. I type a lot of papers and essays in my major, so typing gets boring. I like to use more fun fonts when I'm typing blogs, message boards, and other stuff like that. If it annoys you, I apologize and I can stop, but like I said, I just like to make things a little more fun for myself.

    As for the rush, we both wanted a June wedding, but we were originally looking at June 2015 so that we would have both just graduated from undergrad and would have over a year and a half to plan the wedding, but my father isn't in the best of health, and - not that we're assuming something will happen to him in the next year or so - I just want to make sure he'll be able to walk me down the aisle. My fiancé and I discussed it a lot, and we decided that it would be just as complicated to plan a wedding with him in med school as it would in undergrad, and it would probably benefit my father to do it this year. So, that's why we decided on June 2014.
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 Dirty Jerz member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    @JCBride2014 It's fine, I don't take offense. I type a lot of papers and essays in my major, so typing gets boring. I like to use more fun fonts when I'm typing blogs, message boards, and other stuff like that. If it annoys you, I apologize and I can stop, but like I said, I just like to make things a little more fun for myself.

    As for the rush, we both wanted a June wedding, but we were originally looking at June 2015 so that we would have both just graduated from undergrad and would have over a year and a half to plan the wedding, but my father isn't in the best of health, and - not that we're assuming something will happen to him in the next year or so - I just want to make sure he'll be able to walk me down the aisle. My fiancé and I discussed it a lot, and we decided that it would be just as complicated to plan a wedding with him in med school as it would in undergrad, and it would probably benefit my father to do it this year. So, that's why we decided on June 2014.
    Makes sense.  I hope your dad is OK!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • @JCBride2014 Thank you! I appreciate that.
    JCbride2015
  • Not only am I a student, but my fiance is also a student who goes to school half way across the state. We have been together since freshman year in high school. It will be 6 years in March! It's hard only seeing him once a month, but we make it work. We got engaged over christmas, and the wedding will be July 2016. This way, I have time to focus on school work and plan the wedding.
  • I am just engaged and I am also a student but my situation is quite different; I'm a PhD in my final year and I will be completely done by the end of April and my Fiancee isn't a student at all, and hasn't been for almost four years. We're also not looking at getting married until July 2015.

    I second what everyone else is saying: waiting to get married might be better, the students boards are really good, you can't delegate unless its to a wedding planner (or your FI, obviously) and don't panic!
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  • abaron3abaron3 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    I'm still trying to figure out that balance. As a student, "free time" (is there any really?) will fluctuate week by week, so figuring out a good schedule of deadlines would probably be the first thing to think about? My fiancé and I focused on about a year to get things in order so little by little, we're working on getting things done. 

    Whatever timeline you decide (and I won't necessarily advocate for later over sooner), just remember that as exciting as planning the wedding can be, school still needs to be the priority until after graduation. 

    Best of luck and many well wishes!
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  • My fiance and I are both still students and I've found it's definitely do-able if you are organized enough. I have separate folders and email filters for vendors. It's not been too stressful because my mom is also really organized and has been great about going to vendors (I'm not living in my hometown) and communicating with me. Definitely don't try to do it all yourself...I had to learn this one :) It's okay to delegate.
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