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November 2014 Weddings

Wedding dilemma...any advice helps. Thank you!!

I have 2 close friends who can not stand each other. One of them is my bridesmaid. I will call my bridesmaid A and my friend B. They almost had a fight last time they saw each other (A is passive, B is aggressive). I do not want any tension nor awkwardness during these happy moments. B told me that since she does not like A and knows that she will be at the bachelorette party, that I should have 2 parties. Idk if she was joking or being serious. They will see each other a couple of times...bridal shower and wedding, but I do not know where to seat B. We have been friends since high school and I can not even sit B with my high school friends. The only table is my college buddies (they know each other through me) but they all have significat others and B is single. Then B told me a few things which I didn't like such as who to invite and who not to invite, add +1 guest for single guests. I feel like I am in high school again :-(

What should I do???? If I do not invite her, she will be extremely upset and our friendship will end.

Re: Wedding dilemma...any advice helps. Thank you!!

  • I would tell B to step off / back. This is your wedding and you're the one who has the say. If she wants you to have 2 parties because she can't control herself around others / friend A then she can pay for the 2nd party herself. 

    Also, I would "bean-dip" her. If she mentions anything wedding related, change the subject.
  • Tell her its your wedding if she is going to attend then she needs to axt accordingly
  • In regards to the bridal shower & bachlorette party if your friend A is the one hosting them & B doesn't want to be around her, all you can do is tell friend B that friend A will be there as she is organizing the event and if she (friend b) doesn't want to attend due to A being there, that you will understand.

    In regards to having seperate parties, if B brings that up again, you just pull the etiquette card out & go, it's not proper for a bride to organize her own shower or bachlorette party but if she (b) wants to organize a second party & not invite A, that you would be ok with that (I'm guessing B wouldn't do the work of that)

    Maybe let B bring a guest so she has someone she knows with her. Then it won't matter where you sit here because she'll have someone she knows with her. And if she brings up your guest list, just smile & say, thanks for the info, I'll take it into consideration, so have you been on any good dates lately?

     

    Good luck!!

  • B needs to grow up and keep it classy. I have several friends and family who don't get along. My motto has always been that I will invite everyone, if you are not comfortable then feel free to decline the invitation. If B doesn't like A then she can decline the shower or bachelorette party invite. 

    As far as the wedding is concerned you may want to consider giving her a plus one, I gave plus ones to my "random" friends who wouldn't know anyone at the party. Then just seat her at any random table where you have two seats available.
  • bankss3bankss3 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited April 2014

    I agree with dodger 911. My friends are the same way. I chose to use family instead of friends for my bridesmaids. It has been a rough road but as of now they are not helping with anything and will be invited to the wedding. It is our day and we should be able to celebrate without any added stress.

     

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