Planning Drama

hlvonb · April 2014

How was the level of wedding planning drama compared to what you thought it would be? Ex: FMIL was a lot more overbearing and controlling then you thought she would be. EX: Everyone was a lot cooler and didn't go batshit crazy....

What's the biggest thing you would / wish you could / could have changed?

Blergbot · April 2014

I would have put Less than expected, but now that FSIL's wedding is over (two weeks ago), FMIL may have time to obsess more about our wedding...For now I'm going with about the same. We shall see.

jenna8984 · April 2014

I knew from the beginning that mine was not going to be stressful or have any drama. FI and I are both very outspoken, we don't push over for anybody except each other. So we knew THIS is how it's going to be in every aspect from guest list to food to wedding party members. We told our parents this up front and the only issue we had was right in the beginning FMIL convinced us to add about 5 people to the guest list. That was all!

Jells2dot0 · April 2014

When I was planning my first wedding, it was a lot more fun than I thought. The wedding itself was a "don't even get me started" moment. When I remarried, it was so freaking easy and there was no drama at all!

So, lesson learned: ELOPE

It really is easier.

Peaseblossom55 · April 2014

I didn't expect much drama and haven't had much drama. My family is mostly annoying but that was to be expected. So only 2 months left if it stays this way it will be great.

Gerbertmcway · April 2014

I didn't expect much drama and haven't had much drama. But we're still six months out so who knows what will happen.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

Don't even get me started. The drama-wagons started circling within moments of us getting engaged, and have only drawn more drama-wagons with their gravitational field of crazy.

misscoffeeplease · April 2014

Less. Only because I am relieved we postponed the wedding to a later date.

Simky906 · April 2014

It had been less than I expected until we went to FI's cousin's wedding last week. Where, apparently, FMIL exchanged some heated words with another family member and show now wants them not to be invited to our wedding. They got a STD and they're getting an invite. If they come, we'll just seat them on the opposite side of the room from FMIL.

hlvonb · April 2014

Blergbot said:

I would have put Less than expected, but now that FSIL's wedding is over (two weeks ago), FMIL may have time to obsess more about our wedding...For now I'm going with about the same. We shall see.

@Blergbot

Let's hope it stays where it's at. Lol. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

hlvonb · April 2014

jenna8984 said:

I knew from the beginning that mine was not going to be stressful or have any drama. FI and I are both very outspoken, we don't push over for anybody except each other. So we knew THIS is how it's going to be in every aspect from guest list to food to wedding party members. We told our parents this up front and the only issue we had was right in the beginning FMIL convinced us to add about 5 people to the guest list. That was all!

@jenna8984

That is not bad at all.

hlvonb · April 2014

Jells2dot0 said:

When I was planning my first wedding, it was a lot more fun than I thought. The wedding itself was a "don't even get me started" moment. When I remarried, it was so freaking easy and there was no drama at all!

So, lesson learned: ELOPE It really is easier.

@Jells2dot0

Lol. That's a good lesson. Although I think facing my family and his family if we eloped would be a lot worse than any drama we may have.

hlvonb · April 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

I didn't expect much drama and haven't had much drama. My family is mostly annoying but that was to be expected. So only 2 months left if it stays this way it will be great.

@Peaseblossom55

Let's hope it stays that way.

hlvonb · April 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

Don't even get me started. The drama-wagons started circling within moments of us getting engaged, and have only drawn more drama-wagons with their gravitational field of crazy.

I am sorry to hear that

Peaseblossom55 · April 2014

@hlvonb I hope so too, I think it will!

KytchynWitche · April 2014

I wanted to elope, but I let FI talk me into a "big" wedding (which it isn't really, we're still under 50 people). It has been non-stop drama since we got engaged. I really wish I had put my foot down and insisted we elope.

Between the alcoholic stepmonster, my dad disowning me and my sister on the exact day that FI and I set our wedding date, FMIL throwing hissy fits about everything from the venue to the guest list to our 1 minute speech limit, vendors disappearing, music choices having to be scrapped and started from scratch, family saying they'll be there and then saying they won't before the STDs have even been sent out... I'm just over this whole thing. Everything has been an uphill struggle.

I lost the battle for the elopement, lost the battle for civil ceremony, lost the battle for music, lost the battle for close friends over distant relatives. So far the only battle I've won is the venue. But, at the end of the day, I'll be married to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. That's all that really matters, isn't it?

AddieCake · April 2014

We had to change venues about 6 months out, but that was really the only drama unless you count having a huge falling out with some family members and losing our FG and an usher as a result.

IMathlete · April 2014

I say more than expected, but only because I thought I would be all easy-breezy, no problems with anything. Our wedding planner is turning into a nightmare, and vendors have been...um..difficult to work with in some cases. Family drama hasn't been bad, but I expected there to be none at all. Oh, naivete. It has been very low drama, but when I expected none, well, it's more than expected.

climbingsingle · April 2014

I still have 5 months to go. But so far, planning has been a breeze. I didn't expect it to be hard or drama filled, and thankfully it hasn't been.

beharrington · April 2014

I expected tons of drama with my mom and had none. All my drama came from DH's family. I guess I had the amount I expected but from a different source.

beachyone15 · April 2014

So far, the only thing that has been driving me crazy is that FMIL has LITERALLY asked me and my mom at least 4-5 times what my mom plans on wearing. We are still 6 months out! My mom finally told her she didn't plan on shopping for a few more months. What I want to say is "my mom is more concerned with helping me plan the wedding and making sure everything is wonderful for me and FI, and isn't concerned as much about her own outfit." Geez.

phira · April 2014

I was expecting really low drama, and for the most part, it's been pretty easy. But I've been really surprised by the drama we've encountered, mostly from my side of the guest list.

- A lot of people are not happy with my dress color (navy blue). Some people have been pretty overtly unhappy about it, and some people have just given me disapproving looks and made subtle hints.

- My sister is very upset that my dad isn't going to be invited to the wedding, and took both my partner and me aside (separately) at a family event to talk about it.

- Same sister is going back and forth about whether or not she'll be a bridesmaid. Which, honestly, is fine; I just wish she'd make the right decision for herself. But she's okay with everything bridesmaid-related except being called a bridesmaid. Like, to the point where she's volunteering for stuff.

ei34 · April 2014

I was between less and about the same and voted for the latter. I wasn't anticipating there to be too much drama, and hubby and I were engaged for under 6 months, so there really wasn't time for drama (thankfully!). Little blips here and there but nothing too crazy.

sarahufl · April 2014

so easy. When my siblings got married, it was drama central. Nothing now.

It may help that my parents were paying for my sister's ENTIRE wedding, so there were more arguments about budget but FI and I are paying for whatever my parent's lump sum offer didn't cover, so there is less to argue about.

KeptInStitches · April 2014

In the course of a one-hour meal on Saturday, our preliminary guest list got nearly doubled, my brother challenged the list because I wasn't inviting people who invited me to their weddings (read: they weren't going to have to sit through mine and it bugged him), and my mom said that I need a bridal store dress instead of going to a department store instead.

We have been engaged for one week. Nine days? Something like that.

We wanted to seriously plan after we close on the house next month.

Kill. Me. Now.

lyndausvi · April 2014

I didn't except any and didn't really have any.

casey8784 · April 2014

I still have 6 months to go, but for the most part, it's been pretty easy with the planning.

There was a little bit of drama when we were putting together the guest list at first, and FI's parents didn't get why we were jumping on at least securing the venue (that we knew we wanted) in the couple weeks after getting engaged. I was very intent on getting the "big ticket" items/vendors booked by New Years if possible, because January-September just gets increasingly more and more hectic and wicked busy at work for me so they kept making comments that I was doing all this stuff "too soon."

Also, FI's parents are graciously hosting the rehearsal dinner. Other than knowing the venue, date, and caterer (FI's brother-in-law) I have no clue what has been planned. they just keep saying, "don't worry, we're taking care of it. it'll be wonderful!" and it's kind of driving me crazy.

JennyColada · April 2014

I feel stressed, but I don't think that there's "drama". I knew that there wouldn't be though.

MrsMack10612 · April 2014

I probably should have voted more than expected rather than about the same as expected.

My dad started a shitstorm that I thought I had diverted about not walking me down the aisle, wearing a tux and not inviting his children.

It got pretty ugly when my sibs got involved and 2 of the 4 of us haven't spoken to him since.

Overall, planning was really drama free, but we also planned/paid for the whole thing ourselves so we didn't need to involve anyone that could have caused drama.

SBmini · April 2014

More than expected- There was my mom's passive aggressiveness that really made planning uncomfortable for months before we had a long talk and she changed her tune. There was my FMIL's total bungling of the guest list. There was the venue switch. There was trying to accommodate everyone's wishes and desires to the point where we almost lost ourselves. There was my FI who is so indecisive that he didn't pick his wedding party until 2-3 months out. There was the groomsman who went rogue and bought a completely different colored suit than what we asked him to buy because he didn't like the color- then he got super defensive when we asked him to return it.

AAAAAAALLLLLLL of that has been taken care of! Now I'm just dealing with my diva florist who won't listen to me and seems to think that I don't want colored flowers when ever single example I have shown her is of colored flowers! And the fact that the inlaws bought too much alcohol because my FI did not communicate our bar plans to them. But that's sort of not a bad problem to have.

Fairyjen1 · April 2014

I have had zero drama on the family front on either side. Both our families are pretty easy going about weddings. The only issue I had was which of our 300 friends we could invite without alienating someone. We are both part of a community theater group where we met, so it seems everyone we have ever done a show with feels they own our relationship. I've even had a couple of them complain we 'OWE' them a big party since they were there when we met. Ironically these were all people we probably wouldn't have invited.

It's not much drama though, and we solved the problem by making our wedding immediate family only.

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