How to best explain that accommodations are included?

JennyColada · April 2014

We are having a very intimate wedding (just my parents, his parents, his sister/BIL). Since it's so small, and since we want our families to only focus on enjoying our wedding, we are going to be paying for their hotel rooms for two nights (wedding on Sunday, we are paying Sat and Sun).

I'm sending out STDs (I know I don't "have" to, but I think they're cute!) this week, so I imagine that my parents will be calling me and discussing the travel with me. I'm more worried that she'll just see it as an offer and then still book her own room.

Anyone else go through this? What did you say and how did your guests react?

AprilH81 · April 2014

Since this is your immediate family I would just point blank tell them. "We have already paid for two nights at the hotel for our guests."

insertusernamehere · April 2014

"Mom, since our wedding is so small, fiance and I want you all to focus on enjoying our wedding. We've booked and paid for a block of rooms at [hotel] and look forward to celebrating with you all! When do you want to go mother-of-the-bride dress shopping?"

Lizzieyounce · April 2014

When she calls, just tell her that you and your FI are paying for the rooms at Hotel X for Saturday and Sunday. Why is it a problem if she books her own room elsewhere? What if she isn't comfortable with the hotel you've chosen or has a chain that she prefers to stay at?

grumbledore · April 2014

Jennycolada said:

We are having a very intimate wedding (just my parents, his parents, his sister/BIL). Since it's so small, and since we want our families to only focus on enjoying our wedding, we are going to be paying for their hotel rooms for two nights (wedding on Sunday, we are paying Sat and Sun).

I'm sending out STDs (I know I don't "have" to, but I think they're cute!) this week, so I imagine that my parents will be calling me and discussing the travel with me. I'm more worried that she'll just see it as an offer and then still book her own room.

Anyone else go through this? What did you say and how did your guests react?

I would definitely make sure they know that you are paying for the rooms! If your STDs are in envelopes, I'd just add a little card saying that accommodations will be provided and paid for by the bride & groom/whoever is hosting.

insertusernamehere · April 2014

grumbledore said:

Jennycolada said:

We are having a very intimate wedding (just my parents, his parents, his sister/BIL). Since it's so small, and since we want our families to only focus on enjoying our wedding, we are going to be paying for their hotel rooms for two nights (wedding on Sunday, we are paying Sat and Sun).

I'm sending out STDs (I know I don't "have" to, but I think they're cute!) this week, so I imagine that my parents will be calling me and discussing the travel with me. I'm more worried that she'll just see it as an offer and then still book her own room.

Anyone else go through this? What did you say and how did your guests react?

I would definitely make sure they know that you are paying for the rooms! If your STDs are in envelopes, I'd just add a little card saying that accommodations will be provided and paid for by the bride & groom/whoever is hosting.

Also, since it's such a small group, you could announce this over dinner somewhere!

JennyColada · April 2014

When she calls, just tell her that you and your FI are paying for the rooms at Hotel X for Saturday and Sunday. Why is it a problem if she books her own room elsewhere? What if she isn't comfortable with the hotel you've chosen or has a chain that she prefers to stay at?

My parents honestly don't have the money to be paying for a hotel room. As it is, I pay some of their bills simply so that they don't get evicted from their house.

So I feel like if my mom spent money (that she doesn't have) on a hotel room that she'll be too busy stressing about that to enjoy our day.

MrsMcCaw · April 2014

It is very nice of you and your FI to pay for the hotel rooms.

JennyColada · April 2014

grumbledore said:

Jennycolada said:

We are having a very intimate wedding (just my parents, his parents, his sister/BIL). Since it's so small, and since we want our families to only focus on enjoying our wedding, we are going to be paying for their hotel rooms for two nights (wedding on Sunday, we are paying Sat and Sun).

I'm sending out STDs (I know I don't "have" to, but I think they're cute!) this week, so I imagine that my parents will be calling me and discussing the travel with me. I'm more worried that she'll just see it as an offer and then still book her own room.

Anyone else go through this? What did you say and how did your guests react?

I would definitely make sure they know that you are paying for the rooms! If your STDs are in envelopes, I'd just add a little card saying that accommodations will be provided and paid for by the bride & groom/whoever is hosting.

They are post cards.

Would adding something along the lines of "accommodations are at XXX" with that info on a card in with the invitations? Although I guess they may would, in theory, already have made reservations?

I guess I'll just be blunt and if she wants to spend money somewhere else that's her own issue and I need to let it go.

STARMOON44 · April 2014

Can you not just call everyone and tell them? And if you're really worried about push back say. "How exciting! Our package include rooms at hotel x, so you and dad are booked and paid for there!"

wrigleyville · April 2014

I called my parents and told them. I mean, they're my parents. I call them every week or so anyway.

Since it's just parents and siblings, I'd make a round of phone calls just to catch up and give them the details. That way, you can address any questions right away.

cowgirl8238 · April 2014

wrigleyville said:

I called my parents and told them. I mean, they're my parents. I call them every week or so anyway.

Since it's just parents and siblings, I'd make a round of phone calls just to catch up and give them the details. That way, you can address any questions right away.

This is what I would do also!

SP29 · April 2014

I agree that I would also call and tell them point blank. I would make it clear, because something like "Accommodations booked at XX" would confused me- as in booked and paid for? for me? just a room block that I pay for? Etc.

mschristie123 · April 2014

I wouldn't worrying about being so formal, considering it's such a small group anyway. I would spread the word via phone, or the next time you see them in person.

syoun1nj · April 2014

I would tell them on the phone/at dinner/etc. But if you want something on the save the dates, maybe word it as "accomodations will be provided at XX hotel. Checkin is at 3 pm of XX/XX." Saying "provided" implies they are paid for already. You are very nice to do so!

Lizzieyounce · April 2014

Jennycolada said:

When she calls, just tell her that you and your FI are paying for the rooms at Hotel X for Saturday and Sunday. Why is it a problem if she books her own room elsewhere? What if she isn't comfortable with the hotel you've chosen or has a chain that she prefers to stay at?
My parents honestly don't have the money to be paying for a hotel room. As it is, I pay some of their bills simply so that they don't get evicted from their house. So I feel like if my mom spent money (that she doesn't have) on a hotel room that she'll be too busy stressing about that to enjoy our day.

Oh, I see. That's so sweet of you to take care of your parents like this. As the PP's said, just give them a call and let them know.

Have a super wedding!!

How to best explain that accommodations are included?

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