Registry and Gift Forum

Monetary Fund

Hi knotties,

My BF's good friend, S, is getting married to his fiancee, H. I contacted H to see if they have a wedding registry because my BF is a little clueless when it comes to weddings (he didn't know it's common for a best man to give a toast, for example.) She said they have a monetary fund and that they need a new bed, so that's where the funds will go.

Basically, I'm just wondering what would be considred an appropriate amount to gift to the new couple? They are out of state, so we are flying in (not far away, only about a 1.5 hour flight) and my BF is the best man. My BF was talking about what types of gifts the couple may want, but I told him that if there were other things they need/want, then they would have probably signed up for a registry. Thoughts?

~J

Re: Monetary Fund

  • jaymevc89 said:
    Hi knotties,

    My BF's good friend, S, is getting married to his fiancee, H. I contacted H to see if they have a wedding registry because my BF is a little clueless when it comes to weddings (he didn't know it's common for a best man to give a toast, for example.) She said they have a monetary fund and that they need a new bed, so that's where the funds will go.

    Basically, I'm just wondering what would be considred an appropriate amount to gift to the new couple? They are out of state, so we are flying in (not far away, only about a 1.5 hour flight) and my BF is the best man. My BF was talking about what types of gifts the couple may want, but I told him that if there were other things they need/want, then they would have probably signed up for a registry. Thoughts?

    ~J
    What you can afford to, if you wish to do so. Personally, I find asking to contribute to a fund distasteful, and would give a boxed gift regardless. Or a restaurant gift card, perhaps.
    image
    Viczaesar

  • jaymevc89 said:

    Hi knotties,

    My BF's good friend, S, is getting married to his fiancee, H. I contacted H to see if they have a wedding registry because my BF is a little clueless when it comes to weddings (he didn't know it's common for a best man to give a toast, for example.) She said they have a monetary fund and that they need a new bed, so that's where the funds will go.

    Basically, I'm just wondering what would be considred an appropriate amount to gift to the new couple? They are out of state, so we are flying in (not far away, only about a 1.5 hour flight) and my BF is the best man. My BF was talking about what types of gifts the couple may want, but I told him that if there were other things they need/want, then they would have probably signed up for a registry. Thoughts?

    ~J

    What you can afford to, if you wish to do so. Personally, I find asking to contribute to a fund distasteful, and would give a boxed gift regardless. Or a restaurant gift card, perhaps.

    This.

    image
    image
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Another vote for whatever you can afford.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Whatever you can afford







    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Just write them a check.  Moneyfunds are horribly rude, but I suppose it would be too difficult to transport the traditional metal chicken.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OliveOilsMom
  • In my area it's the norm to offer cash gifts rather than boxed gifts. Some couples use the money to pay off the reception cost, some others use it toward their honeymoon, or a house downpayment, or a brand new TV. Or even to pay off their student loans if they want to. In other words, the money is a gift for the newlyweds to enjoy as they see fit. 

    Here it is usually recommended to offer $100/guest ($200/couple). This is for the guideline. Now, on average most couples will give $100 to $300.  However, the main rule is that it should always be an amount of money you can comfortably afford. If all you can afford now is $50 and that's what you would have paid on a registry, then I would offer the same amount in cash.  
    thisismynickname2wanderingbookworm
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    You hold give whatever you can afford. What other give or what is typical has no baring. It is a gift, not a fee, so you are free to give, or not give, whatever you can afford.

    GL! :)
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You give the same that you would have spent on a physical gift.  There is no guideline or "recommended" amount.  It all depends on your budget and how close you are with the couple.  
  • I thought this post was about the International Monetary Fund.  Very confusing.
    Hysilvinialithibel
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Hm, I think we're all damned if we do, damned if we don't. It sounds like this couple did (unless I'm reading it wrong) what we'd all recommend anyway: "Oh, we haven't registered, but we're saving up for a bed."

    If anyone was that adamant about giving a boxed gift when a couple hasn't registered, well, if I really knew their taste well, I'd give some bedding (with gift receipt!). Who am I to foist a boxed gift on a couple who really doesn't want them?


    ________________________________


  • Hm, I think we're all damned if we do, damned if we don't. It sounds like this couple did (unless I'm reading it wrong) what we'd all recommend anyway: "Oh, we haven't registered, but we're saving up for a bed."

    If anyone was that adamant about giving a boxed gift when a couple hasn't registered, well, if I really knew their taste well, I'd give some bedding (with gift receipt!). Who am I to foist a boxed gift on a couple who really doesn't want them?


    That would have been appropriate, but that's not what they did. They instead responded "We're saving up for a bed; you need to send your money here." Whether 'here' is Paypal or a money registry (shudder--either way the company's taking some of the money, and registries take more than Paypal, I'm fairly certain), it's still wrong. There is no need to dictate how you want someone to give you money. It's easy enough to write a check or stick cash in a card without step by step directions.
    image
    MNVegaschibiyui
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards