Plan to start ceremony late?

LAM524 · April 2014

My wedding coordinator "suggested" (because its always a good idea) to start the ceremony at least 15 minutes late. She reasoned that we don't want those inevitable late stragglers walking in and causing a distractions during the ceremony? Our ceremony was announced on invites for 7pm, which is late already.

What do you think? Has anyone been advised/plan on starting late?

JCbride2015 · April 2014

Don't do it. Responsible people will show up before 7PM, and if you start late, people who arrived at 6:45 might be waiting for half an hour. It's really rude to keep your guests waiting.

Start at 7. You probably won't notice any stragglers, and if anybody notices a latecomer, the latecomer should be embarrassed-- not you.

lyndausvi · April 2014

No.

I get anxiety if even *think* I'm going to be 30 seconds for something, so I'm always early. I would be so annoyed having to sit around for even longer. Don't punish us on-time people by accommodating latecomers.

LAM524 · April 2014

Oh phew!! Thanks! I really was struggling with doing this!! My only hesitation to starting on time was because if there are late comers, they will literally walk right thru the aisle (coordinator planted this seed in my brain). Wouldnt it be lovely if they cut off my bridal party or me and my sons so they could get to their seats! Hopefully with any sense, they will just hold off (and stand there looking silly).

I doubt there will be late ones though (stupid me maybe) but most of our OOT will be staying at the venue the night before and our church guests arrive at EVERYTHING at least 30-45 mins early (which is annoying also).

winelover123 · April 2014

Definitely put the correct start time on your invitation! Our ceremony set up was the same - people had to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. We started right on time so our venue coordinator stopped the late-comers at the door and didn't let them sit down till after I was down the aisle.

CMGragain · April 2014

Starting late is rude.
Arriving late is rude.
Two rudes don't make a happy wedding experience for anyone.

Jen4948 · April 2014

Not a good idea. Latecomers will not change because you put a fake start time on your invitation-and it's really inconsiderate to those who are punctual. They should not have to wait longer just because some people can't get it together to be there on time.

Use the true start time on your invitation.

LAM524 · April 2014

@Jen4948..yes I did use true start time on invites. It is the coordinator suggesting ugly late start.

QueerFemme · April 2014

Have your coordinator hold back any latecomers until you are down the aisle.

melbenso · April 2014

Speaking as someone who just attended a wedding that started late for unplanned reasons, don't do it. The guests started to get restless about 5 minutes after the ceremony was scheduled to start.

If a few of your guests are late, they miss part of the ceremony. If your ceremony starts late, you mistreat all of the guests who managed to arrive on time.

I'd be pissed if I knew someone intentionally started a ceremony late.

AddieCake · April 2014

If it's late for unforeseen circumstances, well, that's life. To plan to start late? Nope.

RebeccaFlower · April 2014

I would be so pissed since I always arrive 20 minutes early.

ElcaB · April 2014

I agree with PPs. Start on time.

Any latecomers should know well enough to quietly stand in the back.

larrygaga · April 2014

Everyday I see more reasons it's a good idea to have a wedding coordinator. Then you can start on time and have her stop people from coming in until after everyone has walked down the isle.

Inkdancer · April 2014

Agree with PPs: it is coordinator's job to keep latecomers from walking down the aisle right in front of you. Their punishment for being rude and late is to miss that beautiful moment.

sarawifenow · April 2014

What is it with all the shitty advice being given by coordinators? I just can't...

delujm0 · April 2014

SaraBrideSoon said:

What is it with all the shitty advice being given by coordinators? I just can't...

I think a bunch of random people just decided to become "coordinators" but have no idea what they're doing.

I've been at weddings where people arrive late and have to stand in the back until the bride has processed. They've all felt TERRIBLE about it afterwards. I trust people to be on time, and my wedding will start, as advertised, at 6:30pm. Since the event hotels are both within 3 city blocks of the venue, no one has an excuse to be late. If they miss it, they miss it.

climbingsingle · April 2014

That's shitty advice! Start on time.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

LAM2228 said:

My wedding coordinator "suggested" (because its always a good idea) to start the ceremony at least 15 minutes late. She reasoned that we don't want those inevitable late stragglers walking in and causing a distractions during the ceremony? Our ceremony was announced on invites for 7pm, which is late already.

What do you think? Has anyone been advised/plan on starting late?

Don't do this. Your DOC is incredibly rude.

Did you already put the wrong time on your invitations? Shame, shame, shame, on you if you did.

Responsible adults will see 7pm on your invitations and arrive at your church no later than 6:45pm. Pushing the start time back another 15 minutes means you are wasting 30mins or more of their time, on the off chance that some ppl will be late.

Don't cater to ppl who are late. Have the DOC actually do something useful and make the ppl who are late wait in the back of the church or off to the side until the WP has processed in and are at the altar. And then your DOC can allow them to discreetly take seats at the back of the church.

Sorry if this seems a bit harsh. . . snow in April is making me really cranky!

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

LAM2228 said:

Oh phew!! Thanks! I really was struggling with doing this!! My only hesitation to starting on time was because if there are late comers, they will literally walk right thru the aisle (coordinator planted this seed in my brain). Wouldnt it be lovely if they cut off my bridal party or me and my sons so they could get to their seats! Hopefully with any sense, they will just hold off (and stand there looking silly).

I doubt there will be late ones though (stupid me maybe) but most of our OOT will be staying at the venue the night before and our church guests arrive at EVERYTHING at least 30-45 mins early (which is annoying also).

See, this is where your DOC is supposed to be doing her job. It's her job to prevent ppl from doing everything you described in the bold.

artbyallie · April 2014

Yeah, your coordinator is being dumb. If someone starts walking down the aisle in the middle of your procession, it would be because she is not doing her fucking job, which is to hold them in the lobby/vestibule until you are at the altar and they can slip in quietly.

We had latecomers and I didn't even notice because my DOC did exactly that. And evidently they were not too wedding-savvy because one of them mentioned to us later that they got to the church at exactly the time on the invite and we were already up there. Uh, yeah. Bride hits the aisle at the invite time, duh. That's why you're supposed to be seated before that.

emmaaa · April 2014

I would be irrate because I'm always at weddings at least 45 minutes early. This happened to me this past November. Start time was supposed to be at 5:00 pm. they didn't start seating the Grandmothers and Mothers until 5:30. I had been there over a hour at that point.

People will be late regardless of how late you start.

Tami87 · April 2014

LAM2228 said:

My only hesitation to starting on time was because if there are late comers, they will literally walk right thru the aisle (coordinator planted this seed in my brain). Wouldnt it be lovely if they cut off my bridal party or me and my sons so they could get to their seats! Hopefully with any sense, they will just hold off (and stand there looking silly).

Even if someone does come in late and walks down the aisle, really it will be okay. In fact at my wedding SIL (who was a reader) showed up after my bridesmaids walked down the aisle and right before my dad and I were preparing to walk in ( I had no idea she wasn't there already). She got tossed a corsage from the wedding coordinator at our church (the groomsmen who were at the front of the church say it was a great toss and catch) and hustled down the side aisle during the quick break between my bridesmaids and my dad and my entrance. I was annoyed when I heard the church door open after the procession had started, and for a moment was like seriously who is just showing up now. ( I think we may have even started 5 min late but not on purpose). I was mad for maybe a minute, then when I realized it was SIL, I just had to laugh because it just figures. This did not ruin my day at all and is something I just laugh about now.

The vast majority of your guests will know how to show up on time for a wedding. If you do get late comers (which no matter how much you delay the start there will be someone), your DOC should have them wait until they can slip in quietly. Do not make guests who show up on time wait longer for no reason.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

The coordinator's job is to keep latecomers from walking down the aisle with you. If she cannot or will not do this, then you need a new coordinator.

Start on time. Period.

LAM524 · April 2014

Thanks everyone!!! Great points! Especially, "she needs to do her job and hold them back!" Period!!! Our invitation time states 7pm and we will start at 7am. I hate to be late to anything...always early! If Im running late I get so much anxiety!!! So I don't need the lateness!

Its an outside ceremony, in FL, in May! Bugs and humidity (possibly)! I do not want them outside any longer then necessary!!

I was just really shocked and confused when coordinator suggested it!

Plan to start ceremony late?

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