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April 2014 Weddings

I'm at my breaking point

The wedding is 13 days away and I was reduced to tears today when I asked my fiance if he remembered to ask his friend (WHO WAS HERE ALL WEEKEND LONG!) if he would be an usher- and he told me he forgot. Then his mom called and reported that she bought all the alcohol... from the long list- not the shortened list I thought he was going to talk to her about. So now she has to return a bunch of stuff and buy other stuff because of that snafu. I got my day of itinerary from my coordinator and almost everything is a question mark. Has she seriously not talked to anyone yet!? Am I supposed to fill all this in? I thought that was what I hired her for- to coordinate! And my florist told my FMIL that she won't put colored flowers in the center pieces because that's not what I want, even though I've told her again and again that I want color, and have shown her examples that include color.

I went and organized all of our stuff we're talking with us to the wedding by when it is needed (i.e. me getting ready, ceremony, etc) and typed up our signs for the bar, guest book, etc. That made me feel better. But I can't help but feel that nothing is being done right unless I do it myself. And as a result, I'm worried that things won't get done or will be done wrong as a result. 

Re: I'm at my breaking point

  • So frustrating!

    That feeling (in wedding planning, work, or life) of having to do everything yourself is so overwhelming. Can you prioritize by listing 3-5 things that you want to be perfect to do yourself and then delegating the others?

    People keep telling me how smoothly things are going to go on our wedding day and my response is, "Even if things are a mess, we will be married at the end of the day!" We have worked really hard on all of the little details and I really do want the day to go smoothly and for our friends and family to have a wonderful time. But truly, the thing I care most about is being married. Hang in there!
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  • amm88amm88
    Fifth Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its

    I agree, very frustrating! Your day of coordinator should not have so many question marks at this point. Did you ask her if she had talked to the people in question? You shouldn't have to do that for her. You can also ask her to only give you the day of itinerary when it is final, for you to just approve.

    Hopefully all these details will be solved soon!


  • I totally understand OP. I hate when I have a vision and I have someone else do it and it gets completely messed up. We are all at that point where we need to think is all the stress worth it?

    Start sending emails out to CYA and list everything you want/expect and have a serious talk with your FI and tell him you need help.

    Everything will work its self out :)
  • When I started crying on Sunday my fiance said, "Finally! I was thinking you were some sort of cyborg" because I've been so calm and collected this whole time. Once I lost it- he realized he needed to up his game. He called his two friends right then and there, called his mom and keeps asking what he can do to help. So thankfully- I have that going for me right now. My DOC also told me not to worry about the list. Still need to call my diva florist. I hate talking to her. But I need to lay it down on her.
  • Here's the best advice I've had recently....  "No one knows what you were *going* to do for the wedding, so no one will know if you don't do it."

    So...the really cute signs I was going to hand paint?  Not going to happen.
    The list of nearby churches with Easter services for guests coming from out of town? Not going to happen.
    The teeth whitening and situps I was planning to do every day for the last month?  Not going to happen.

    And I'm sure everyone will still tell me what a beautiful day it was.
  • Hang in there, you're almost there! Sometimes you just have to think that everything will work out, and not worry about it. It causes more stress, and you don't need that! Just think about the bigger picture, you will have a husband soon!

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  • So the florist ordered all white and blush flowers even thought I told her time and time again that I wanted COLOR. I basically told her I didn't care what she ordered, she could look through all the emails I sent her to see that I want color, that's what I paid her for. Seriously... 1 star yelp review after the wedding. 
  • OP I totally feel your pain!  Nothing has gotten accomplished or done correctly had I not done them.  Looks like we're getting married on the same day!  I still have a lot of ? on my timeline too, just nailed down a caterer after a FMIL epic SNAFU last week, completely absent from the planning FI, no idea how the flowers or cake will get to my venue, and am unsure if I am getting dressed at home or at the venue.  I have had numerous meltdowns and am now adopted the "screw it" philosophy regarding the wedding lol. 
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