Fiance Dragging His Feet

Re: Fiance Dragging His Feet

• *Barbie* member

  

  April 2014

  Jeananne55 said:

  My fiance and I are getting married the first part of July, two months away.  We became engaged right before Christmas, he took me to the jewelry store and had me pick out my engagement ring because he said he didn't have a clue what I like.  He bought me a beautiful engagement ring!  By the way, this is my 2nd wedding and his 3rd.  And we are in our 50's...if that makes any difference.  Anyways, I have been doing a DIY wedding and it will be simple and beautiful, in our backyard.  But, I am the only one working on this, he has given me names and addresses of his friends and family for the Save the Dates and the Wedding Invitations, which will go out the end of next week.  I bought his wedding band in February, just wanted to make sure to have it here and that it fit, in case I needed to get a different size (custom ring).  The ring that I have chosen as my wedding band is very simple and it is garnets, kind of like an anniversary band.  He still has yet to purchase my ring.  I called the jeweler and they have my size (same custom place), and when I gave him the phone number of the person he needed to call to order from, he texted me and said "you buy the ring and I'll pay you back".  It kind of hurt my feelings in a way, that I am doing all of this stuff and I can't even get him to do this one thing...am I just being a brat?  Or so overwhelmed that I'm wearing my feelings on my sleeve at this point?  We just have a lot going on right now....any thoughts or suggestions?  Thanks

  Why didn't you just place the order when you called the jeweler? Sounds like you're just trying to start a fight. 

  
  

  Are you carrying a grudge because he's not helping you plan the reception? Why do people not get the "Y" part of DIY? If you're doing all sort of little craft projects for the wedding, and pushing him to participate in something which does not interest him, I can completely understand his reluctance to participate. (Probably even moreso since this is his 3rd wedding and your 2nd - is all of this stuff really necessary?)  
  

  
  

  
  

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• sarawifenow member

  

  April 2014

  I completely disagree with PP. I would be hurt, too. He should be helping you. This is his wedding, too.

  Is there something else (stressful) going on that he might be bottling his emotions about? I know my FI keeps everything to himself unless I reach out to him, then he opens up.

  

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• shaylagirl member

  

  April 2014

  So, you know what wedding band you want.  And you're upset because he won't make the phone call and order it?  That's what this boils down to?
  
  Not a hill worth dying on. 
  
  Order your band.  Give him the receipt.  Get paid back.  Isn't this a partnership, where sometimes we just do stuff to help out our partner? 
  
  Would I be hurt he asked me to order it?  Sure.  And, trust me, I get being hurt about it.  I bought her own engagement ring and wedding band because my (now) DH said he couldn't afford to because he spent all his money buying his ex-wife hers (twice, since she lost the first one)...soooo..yeah.  HOWEVER, I'd just do it and get over it.  You need the band.  You've got the jeweler's phone number.  Get it over with and put another "X" on your "To Do" list.
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

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• thejucheidea member

  

  April 2014

  I did literally everything for our wedding, so I can't figure out why you're complaining here instead of just going out and buying the ring. I mean, in the time that you took to type that post, you could have picked up the phone and ordered the ring.

  
  

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• emmyg65 member

  

  April 2014

  Get off the internet and talk to your fiance. It might not be a big deal, or it might be a symptom of a larger problem, but you won't know until you talk about it. "When you told me to buy the ring, it hurt my feelings because it seems like you're not as involved in this wedding as I am." And then let him explain himself.

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• netskyblue2 member

  

  April 2014

  I ordered my own wedding band, literally.  I'm the special orders buyer of a jewelery store.  I told my FI this is the band I'm ordering, and called the manufacturer and ordered it.  I was actually planning on paying for it, too, but he came into the store and paid for it before I got to it.
  
  Is it possible the OP's FI is struggling financially and hasn't shared this information with her?
  

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• thejucheidea member

  

  April 2014

  
  Is it possible the OP's FI is struggling financially and hasn't shared this information with her?
  

  If that's the case, they need to discuss it like yesterday.

  
  

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