Is Giving Gifts for the WP Mandatory?

Lisax4156 · April 2014

Hi All,

So I'm just curious if it's mandatory that you give everyone in your WP a gift? We're on a very tight budget, so if I don't have to, I won't. Our WP is all close family anyways. If it's mandatory, I will save and get them a gift.

Thanks

LondonLisa · April 2014

Yes, it would be very rude not to. These people spent a lot of time and money supporting you, a gift and a thoughtful card is the very least you could do.

But, also remember, shop for them like you would their birthday. Don't buy matching engraved wedding merchandise from TK store, like bracelets or whatever, with your wedding date on it. Take the time and get them individual, thoughtful and meaningful gifts that are tailored to their personalities.

OliveOilsMom · April 2014

Lisax4156 said:

Hi All,

So I'm just curious if it's mandatory that you give everyone in your WP a gift? We're on a very tight budget, so if I don't have to, I won't. Our WP is all close family anyways. If it's mandatory, I will save and get them a gift.

Thanks

You should give something to your WP for being there with you on your wedding day. They are taking time and money out of their own life to put towards your future life with FI. If you are truly on a tight budget, a well written note to each person thanking them for standing up for you at the wedding, etc., can be just as good.

Remember, that gifts don't need to be expensive. If you have any coffee lovers a new mug and a $5 gift card to their coffee store of choice would be nice. The gifts don't have to be extravegent in the least.

KatWAG · April 2014

Yes, you need to save the money and give them something. It doesnt have to be anything grand but it shoudl be something thoughtful to say thanks.

KeptInStitches · April 2014

While the gifts don't have to be extravagant, they should be in line with the amount you're spending on the wedding. I mean, from your BM's perspective, it would really suck to see you wearing a $10,000 dress and get a $2 keychain - make sense?

larrygaga · April 2014

This is really one of the few times it's pretty mandatory to do gifts, unless you don't want to thank your WP for being in the wedding? It doesn't have to be extravagant, but should reflect how much money was spent on your wedding and how much they spend on their dresses. Don't be giving them a thank you card if you have a 20k wedding they have 200 dollar dresses. I bet you can find tons of stuff on sale to save some money. It seems rude not to give them a gift.

Just because it's close family doesn't give any excuse to be ungrateful.

Lisax4156 · April 2014

Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate them.

Well, I will save up and buy them each a gift then. We had a budget wedding/reception due to funds. Everything was about $3k. I have gift ideas in mind, so I will purchase them something. Thanks everyone

emmyg65 · April 2014

Remember that the most meaningful gift is a heartfelt letter of thanks, which is practically free.

MairePoppy · April 2014

Strictly speaking, gifts are never mandatory for any occasion. But TBH, I have never heard of a bride and groom skipping the wedding party gifts and it will make you look stingy to not give them something. Gifts don't have to be expensive, but you should do something. Even home made cookies and thank you notes, which absolutely are required, would be nice.

OliveOilsMom · April 2014

Lisax4156 said:

Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate them.

Well, I will save up and buy them each a gift then. We had a budget wedding/reception due to funds. Everything was about $3k. I have gift ideas in mind, so I will purchase them something. Thanks everyone

Another idea would be to look through old photos of you and your WP. Find some good ones and have copies made and place them in a nice frame. Christmas Tree Shop usually has many nice, but inexpensive frames. It could be nice to have an old photos to show where your friendship started and where it is now. Couple that with a thoughtful letter and you are on your way!

[Deleted User] · April 2014

One of the gifts we gave to the individuals in our wedding party were family portraits. Everyone in our wedding party had their spouse & kids at the wedding. Since they were all dressed up, I figured, what a great shot to get famiy pictures. Because if you think about it, how often do you get nice photos done when everyone in your family is dressed up? I went and got them each simple frames from the dollar store (this way if the style of frame didn't go with their style they wouldn't feel obligated to keep it) and framed the photos & gave them to them. Luckily the photographer was my SIL who has her own studio & we had our pictures within a week of our wedding so I was able to go to Walgreens to develop those pictures to give to give out.

Lisax4156 · April 2014

I like the picture idea. I have a picture from when my sister and I were kids that I could have printed and framed.

Thank you so much for the ideas!!

daria24 · April 2014

As a bridesmaid, I would always prefer to get a heartfelt note, and some time with the bride as my gift. Whether you can only afford to grab a drink/coffee/cupcake with each person, or treat them to brunch, etc. I'd rather have that any day than a trinket. But the picture idea is also nice and thoughtful.

Jen4948 · April 2014

Not to give them something when they're taking the time out of their lives and money out of their budgets to give you gifts, get the dresses and anything else you specify, and possibly entertain you with a shower or a bachelorette party (which is optional on their parts), if not exactly a violation of etiquette, does make you appear self-absorbed or even selfish.

If you want to avoid the appearance of that, you should give them gifts that are within your budget, in keeping with their personal interests, and is not something you require them to wear or use for your wedding.

Is Giving Gifts for the WP Mandatory?

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