Wedding Etiquette Forum

Invited couple breaking up

Hi ladies
I am concerned about how to handle a situation that has just arisen.

Fi and i have a longtime friend.  he got engaged about 4 months ago to a girl that Fi and i work(ed) with.  We do not have a strong relationship with her (acquaintances really since she no longer works with us), but we are very close with him.  They just broke off their engagement two weeks ago and it was not an amicable split.  Since my invitations are slated to be mailed out this weekend i would normally just not invite her because she would have only been invited to the wedding because he was in a relationship with her.  HOWEVER, my shower (that someone unfortunately spilled the beans about) is next weekend, and Fi asked her if she is still planning on attending, since she was invited before their relationship went sour. She said yes and that she can't wait. 

If she does come to the shower, i feel as though excluding her form the wedding will be a faux pas.  But Fi doesn't feel its appropriate to invite her to the wedding because of it being awkward.  What would you do given this information?  Also, does your answer change if she in fact does not show up to the shower?

Thanks in advance!

Re: Invited couple breaking up

  • If she is invited tot he shower then you must invite her to the wedding.
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  • thanks doeydo!  wanted to tell Fi i am not alone in thinking this, as awkward as it may be!
  • If you and FI really aren't close to this girl, I wouldn't be very surprised if she declines the wedding invitation, simply because she doesn't want an awkward evening with her ex-FI. But I agree, she should be invited to neither or both (and it's obviously too late for the former).
  • Invite her, but odds are she will not show.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Invite her anyway. If I was her, I would decline the invite but I would be hurt to not be invited.
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  • NoroskyNorosky member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited April 2014
  • If you want to maintain a relationship with her, invite her to the wedding. Otherwise don't.
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