this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Chit Chat
Chit Chat
New Discussion

Mr. and Mrs. decoration... faux pas?

themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
in Chit Chat
I have just finished my table numbers.  For the sweetheart table, instead of a number, I just painted a heart and rubbed off the paint in certain parts to make it look distressed.  My sister told me I should write the word Mr. and Mrs. at the bottom of the wooden plaque.  I think it is cute, but I am not taking FIs last name.  Am i correct to assume that when I get married, I will be a wife, but not a Mrs? I will just be a Ms. Muffinman who is married. Mrs. Muffinman is reserved for people marrying into my family and adopting that last name.  Let me know if I am correct.  Would Mr. and Mrs. be kind of confusing to people if I don't take FI's last name. (It is just a decoration, but I don't want it to slight anyone). Please weigh in, ladies.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Mr. and Mrs. decoration... faux pas?

  • KytchynWitcheKytchynWitche member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    AFAIK, Mrs is fine even if you're not taking that last name. You're still married.

    My stepmom did a hyphenate when she married my dad, but her mail is addressed to Mrs Bitchpants-Urbysdad. My teacher kept her previous married name when she remarried, and she's Mrs Firstmarriedname.

    I could be wrong though.
    imageDaisypath Friendship tickers
    Report Reply
  • ArtemischiefArtemischief member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree, it might confuse people. I am taking FI's name, but for our sweetheart table we're using "bride and groom." Same sentiment, less confusion.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ktjanesmomktjanesmom member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    When and why did things have to become so complicated?  Just a thought.
    Report Reply
  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think it's victim-less crime, however bride & groom might be less confusion down the road. 
    Report Reply
  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I always thought women became Mrs. regardless of whether they took their H's last name or not, but I don't have a source to point you to other than my own reasoning. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper

    Emily Post says!

    Addressing a Woman

    Maiden name

    Ms. Jane Johnson
    Miss Jane Johnson*
    *usually 'Miss' is for girls under 18

    Married, keeping maiden name

    Ms. Jane Johnson

    Married, uses husband's name socially

    Mrs. John Kelly
    Mrs. Jane Kelly*
    *Nowadays this is acceptable
    Ms. Jane Kelly

    Separated, not divorced

    Mrs. John Kelly
    Mrs. Jane Kelly
    Ms. Jane Kelly

    Divorced

    Mrs. Jane Kelly
    Ms. Jane Kelly
    Ms. Jane Johnson (maiden name)

    Widowed

    Mrs. John Kelly*
    *If you don't know the widow's preference, this is the traditional and preferred form
    Mrs. Jane Kelly
    Ms. Jane Kelly

    Addressing a Couple

    Married, she uses her husband's name socially

    Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly

     

     

    image


    Report Reply
  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    The issue with Mrs is that Mrs assumes a spouse's last name (more specifically, it assumes a woman's last name is her husband's).

    Plenty of women who do not change their last names are either okay with going as Mrs Hislast socially, or even prefer it. That's fine--you're not forbidden from referring to yourself as Mrs Hislast.

    If I saw Mr and Mrs on your table decoration, and I had to guess, I'd guess you were changing your last name. While I would actually ask you how you wanted to be addressed (e.g. "Hey, I'm writing you a check. Do I write it to Firstname Lastname, or Firstname Hislast?"), not everyone will, and many people will assume you're now Mrs Hislast, even if you didn't change your name.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
    image
    Report Reply
  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Eh.  I don't think it's a big deal either way.  I am keeping my last name and still registered for a picture frame that has "Mr. & Mrs." engraved on it.  I wouldn't necessarily assume anything from that sign.  It's just a cute wedding decoration.
    Report Reply
  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I don't think it's a faux pas, but as a guest I would assume you are changing your last name or at least want to go by Hislast socially.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image

    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

    Report Reply
  • SKPMSKPM member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    ktjanesmom said:

    When and why did things have to become so complicated?  Just a thought.

    Around the same time that it became socially acceptable for a woman not to change her name? OP doesn't seem to be bothered by the "complication" so I'm not sure why you are.

    OP, I didn't change my name and I deliberately avoid things like that with "Mr and Mrs" on them because I already have enough people assuming I changed it and I don't need to encourage any more. But the decision is up to you. I don't think it's a faux pas so much as person preference.

    photo fancy-as-fuck.jpg
    Report Reply
  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I had no idea Mrs. had so many rules assigned. I figured it just met, a chick who got hitched. While Ms. is just a chick who may or may not be married because it's none of your business. And Miss is for chicks who aren't hitched and are cool with you knowing that. My step-mom uses Mrs. and she kept her maiden name. Actually my dad took her last name so maybe the name change rules apply? I really have no idea.

    Honestly, my thought process is, it's a decoration. Put whatever you want on it. It's just a decoration.

    For what it's worth, I plan to keep using Ms. and so does FI after we're married (she's taking my name), but I've seen some cute Mrs.& Mrs. stuff I totally want for our wedding. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards