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And this is why it's important to check and budget for SOs

s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So BF gets a text from his friend (who will get married at the end of next month) last night, asking if we sent in our RSVP.

If I recall, they weren't due until the 26th or so, and after I had that little bugger in my purse for a week I FINALLY found a mailbox to drop it in over the weekend (I kept forgetting).

When BF replied with the affirmative, Friend seemed relieved because they MAY HAVE TO CUT LATE RSVPs because they didn't account for new SOs between STDs (send last summer?) and invitations. O.O His words were "You'd be surprised how many cousins got mad their girlfriend of 2 weeks wasn't invited." Granted, I DO see both sides (a two week relationship is annoying to have to account for, BUT it's not anyone's place to pass judgement on whether or not a relationship was serious!), but they STILL should have accounted for at least SOME new relationships!

I had a feeling this wedding was going to be a cluster when the STD explained what a "formal" wedding was (and even still, it seems to be more "office casual" than "formal"), stated that it was a 21+ wedding, and stated that it was an "invitation only" wedding. Well, we'll see how it goes when we get there!
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Re: And this is why it's important to check and budget for SOs

  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    Oh boy.  Please go and bring back stories!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
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    What's weird is that by the time the wedding rolls around, the relationship will be longer than "just" two weeks.
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 member
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    I wonder what qualifies as late? In the mailbox or postmarked?!

    Seriously though- are they going to cut out VIPs if their RSVPs show up late? Poor planning..
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    Simply Fated said:
    What's weird is that by the time the wedding rolls around, the relationship will be longer than "just" two weeks.
    It will most likely be 2 months! And some people are living together in less time than that!
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    wandajune6 said:
    I wonder what qualifies as late? In the mailbox or postmarked?!

    Seriously though- are they going to cut out VIPs if their RSVPs show up late? Poor planning..
    I sure hope not! We'll see!

    I mean, I really hope that it's not that bad, but after the bad taste left in my mouth after the STDates, I'm not in utter shock.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    JCBride2014 said:
    Oh boy.  Please go and bring back stories!
    Lol! For the couples' sake, I hope there aren't that many!

    I really like them and am just hoping that it's all just some terrible instances of ignorance poor planning!
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  • ArtemischiefArtemischief member
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    I'm curious, what exactly is an "invitation only" wedding? You don't bring your invite with you, you don't get to come in?
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    How are they going to "cut" late RSVPs. "Oh sorry Aunt Sally, your RSVP was sent in too late. We can't accommodate you now?" 

    Everyone needs to account for SO or possible SO of people until your invitations go out. I'm curious what this "2 weeks" is counted from. From the STD, yeah that person should definitely be invited. From the invitations going out, yes you should TRY to accommodate that extra person, but it's not a fatal etiquette mistake if you can't. 
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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
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    Artemischief said:
    I'm curious, what exactly is an "invitation only" wedding? You don't bring your invite with you, you don't get to come in?

    And probably wristbands.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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  • insertusernamehereinsertusernamehere member
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    Some venues require all guests to be 21+, but the rest is generally rude and/or unnecessary. Adults can dress themselves haha.
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  • phiraphira member
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    Oooh an invitation-only wedding! How fancy.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    laurynm84 said:

    How are they going to "cut" late RSVPs. "Oh sorry Aunt Sally, your RSVP was sent in too late. We can't accommodate you now?" 


    Everyone needs to account for SO or possible SO of people until your invitations go out. I'm curious what this "2 weeks" is counted from. From the STD, yeah that person should definitely be invited. From the invitations going out, yes you should TRY to accommodate that extra person, but it's not a fatal etiquette mistake if you can't. 
    This is what I'm wondering. Or are people who don't RSVP in a timely manner going to get a call that says, 'Since you didn't RSVP, we're assuming you're not coming'?

    In the couple's (partial) defence, if the cousins have only been dating their SOs for two weeks NOW, five days before the RSVP deadline, they weren't in the relationships when the invites went out, so while it would be nice for the B/G to accommodate the new relationships, it's not required.
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  • Simky906Simky906 member
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    edited April 2014
    The whole "You'd be surprised how many cousins got mad their girlfriend of 2 weeks wasn't invited." leads me to believe that B&G didn't invite couples that were togther pre-RSVP though. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but if multiple people are unhappy that their SO's weren't invited I have a hard time believing that they've all started new relationships THAT recently.

    But holy over-inviting Batman, how close to their cap must they be to even CONSIDER this? And what is people RSVP yes one or two days after the deadline? Do they get a "Sorry, it's too late" call?

    Edited because I can't spell.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    laurynm84 said:
    How are they going to "cut" late RSVPs. "Oh sorry Aunt Sally, your RSVP was sent in too late. We can't accommodate you now?" 

    Everyone needs to account for SO or possible SO of people until your invitations go out. I'm curious what this "2 weeks" is counted from. From the STD, yeah that person should definitely be invited. From the invitations going out, yes you should TRY to accommodate that extra person, but it's not a fatal etiquette mistake if you can't. 
    No Aunts/ family members - it seems like it will just be friends, as cousins are taking precedent over non-relatives.

    I just hope they get this all sorted out!
    LauraMichael2015 said:
    Some venues require all guests to be 21+, but the rest is generally rude and/or unnecessary. Adults can dress themselves haha.
    I don't know if this venue requires all guests to be 21+ - I'm not sure of the bar situation (I'm 97% sure it won't be dry though, and cash bars are common in my neck of the woods), BUT, the location is at a family friendly resort... so me thinks it's just one of the couple's (or the family that is paying's) requirements.


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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    Simky906 said:
    The whole "You'd be surprised how many cousins got mad their girlfriend of 2 weeks wasn't invited." leads me to believe that B&G didn't invite couples that were togther pre-RSVP though. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but if multiple people are unhappy that their SO's weren't invited I have a hard time believing that they've all started new relationships THAT recently.

    But holy over-inviting Batman, how close to their cap must they be to even CONSIDER this? And what is people RSVP yes one or two days after the deadline? Do they get a "Sorry, it's too late" call?

    Edited because I can't spell.
    Part of me is guessing REALLY DAMN CLOSE.

    This is a couple that is also not really financially stable or savvy (like, I side-eye what they do on the regular, for instance buying a vehicle that is too expensive or a leather couch when they can't afford an apartment) so part of me is thinking they're just completely uninformed.
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  • nmsanmsa member
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    Artemischief said:
    I'm curious, what exactly is an "invitation only" wedding? You don't bring your invite with you, you don't get to come in?
    I actually was just a bridesmaid in an "invitation only" wedding, although it was a requirement of the venue and not the couple. Their venue was attached to a popular casino, and so what amounted to a bouncer stood at the only entrance to the venue and checked everyone against the RSVP list. This meant the couple had no "+1" guests - anyone bringing someone with them had to get their guest's name to the couple a week or two in advance or they absolutely were not going to be able to get in. I'm told it was a bit of a bottleneck for the guests (wedding party was waved through) but it did keep out casino crashers. No one had to actually bring their invitation, though.

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