Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

How to keep from crying happy tears?! LOL

This sounds very silly, but I am a 'crier'.  If I am extremely of any emotion it comes out in tears.   No I do not have any medical issues lol, it comes from a good place.  My fiancé and I have quite the love story and after 11 years of this amazing love, the timing is finally right and we are getting married in October!! Here is my question.  I want to do our own vows, but every time I sit down and think about what I am going to say to the man of my dreams on our big day.....I am a sobbing mess because I cannot believe we are so lucky and blessed and that this is working out. HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!?!?!??! LOL this is kind of a light hearted question but I really do not want to be crying in all my wedding pictures so please, I will take any advice possible!

Re: How to keep from crying happy tears?! LOL

  • Well, you wouldn't be crying through all of them, I think maybe just the ceremony ones.  Stacey from What Not to Wear says that doing that hand/finger fan thing helps her not to cry.  I don't know if that works or not.  
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  • Pinch the skin between your thumb and forefinger. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • doeydo said:
    Well, you wouldn't be crying through all of them, I think maybe just the ceremony ones.  Stacey from What Not to Wear says that doing that hand/finger fan thing helps her not to cry.  I don't know if that works or not.  
    I really, really, really despise that motion. I see it all the time now, and it looks 1000% more dramatic and "look at me" than just letting yourself cry.

    OP - it's easy to get emotional while you're writing them, but when you're in front of everyone and focusing on saying the words without stumbling, it's a bit easier. Every time I felt like my voice was starting to waver, I just paused and took a breath. I even shut my eyes for a second at one point. Everyone understands it's an emotional day, and they pretty much expect that you're going to cry. Personally, I think it makes the moment even sweeter (and I start crying in response).
  • Personally, I decided that I didn't want to hide from my emotions on my wedding day. I wanted to feel everything as it was happening. Both DH and I cried like little babies throughout our ceremony. There was lots of laughter and smiles too. We had a very emotional, touching ceremony, so there was no way we were going to get through it dry-eyed. Just use waterproof mascara and have plenty of tissues. It'll be fine.
  • OP, I am the same way! I started crying looking at some random couple's engagement pictures when flipping through our photog's portfolio. Haha!

    I think that genuinity is beautiful and think that you should just let it flow. Basically, everything that @emmyg65 said!

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  • Thank you ladies!!!! @SaraBrideSoon I do that all the time!! LOL I seem to be in good company.  I really do not know why I am so worried about it, but I think maybe I will ruin every picture?!

    I love getting REAL advice from REAL women...this is awesome. Thank you!

  • emmyg65 said:
    Personally, I decided that I didn't want to hide from my emotions on my wedding day. I wanted to feel everything as it was happening. Both DH and I cried like little babies throughout our ceremony. There was lots of laughter and smiles too. We had a very emotional, touching ceremony, so there was no way we were going to get through it dry-eyed. Just use waterproof mascara and have plenty of tissues. It'll be fine.
    Do you have a favorite waterproof mascara by chance? Just wondered.
  • I cried as soon as I started walking down the aisle and didn't stop. I had many people tell me that the moment I started crying they started crying too. Embrace it - it won't ruin your pictures :) I can bet that you'll get a lot of ceremony pictures of you smiling as well and the tears will hardly be noticeable. 
  • I truly thought that I was going to bawl like a baby during the ceremony but was able to get most of my nerves out of the way when H and I did our first look. H actually got a little choked up while reading his vows which almost got me going!
  • I'm glad I read this post.  I wouldn't call myself a "crier", but I get really emotional when I think about my parents being emotional on our wedding day - especially my dad.  That father-daughter dance is going to look like 2 puddles dancing with each other.  

    Generally I can get through crying if I focus on some other part of my body (as weird as that sounds).  I'll pinch the skin on my hand, or scrunch my toes in my shoes, or flex muscles (that no one will see under my gown, haha).  It seems to help me, so we'll see!
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  • I am TOTALLY a crier too.

    Through my years and years of relationships (and sappy movies), I've learned that there is absolutely NOTHING that can make me stop: no funny faces, no pressure points, no re-aligning my jaw muscles, no blinking, no face fanning.

    It's just going to happen and I'm just going to have to accept it as a part of my wedding.
  • @emmyg65 I just looked up the program for a Quaker wedding ceremony and that sounds absolutely beautiful.

  • Maybe do some pictures beforehand? If you're okay with seeing each other before the ceremony, that is. If not, you could at least do bridal portraits and pictures with your respective attendants and families, so that'd be a few without tears, at least! :)

    I'm also a cry about anything crier. Some TV commercials will do it. I've gotten a bit better at controlling it over time. Maybe practice watching some really emotional commercials and movie scenes until you can hold the tears back a bit? ;) Really though, it's absolutely okay to cry. But make sure you have a hanky, and dab, don't wipe! :)
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  • I LOVE all the comments, glad to know I'm not alone....and PS I am tearing up reading this post. LOL
  • If you know you're going to cry, just plan accordingly. Go light on the makeup on the lower lashes so it doesn't smear. Consider waterproof eyeliner if you wear eyeliner on your wedding day because while your mascara may stick, it would suck to have some other make up smear. Also, make sure to have tissues in your hand and have your MOH have some, just in case. 

    I agree, take some pics before the wedding when you're make up and hair are fresh and flawless. 
  • I cried at the end of Men In Black 3... there is no way I won't cry getting married!!
    I also cried at our wedding BBQ this weekend hearing how my future hubby saved my ring size in his phone 5 months after we were dating because he knew I was the one and I have already heard that story!!! There is no hope for me... thank goodness for first look pictures... which I will also more than likely cry in... haha... 
  • I'm a big crier, too. And I didn't cry AT ALL during my wedding. It was the weirdest thing. I was so full of nerves and adrenaline that nothing really hit me (until the wedding was over and done!) I wanted so badly not to cry that I didn't look at my husband's face while walking down the aisle- worst decision ever. Don't worry too much about it- let yourself experience the day. If you've gotta go wash your face and reapply makeup halfway through, whatever. The makeup matters much less than the emotions.
  • Just let yourself cry.

     
  • I cried at the end of Godzilla (the 1998 version with Matthew Broderick)!!! So I already know the tears will be flowing on my wedding day. It's all good because it will all be due to joy.

    Just let it be. It is a moment that you both will cherish...like PP said above, wear waterproof mascara!

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