My mom had this idea that instead of being placed at the front, she wanted to be in the center, at a table with all of her sisters (five of them). And then behind each sister would be their kids at their own table. I thought that sounded like it could work. But then- we got the seating chart and it was two rows of tables vs three.
She spent about three days trying to reorganize the reception hall layout to make her three-wide plan work. It included a lot of conversations with things like, "this isn't what WE want" but I don't know who we was... because I was totally OK with the layout. She also pointed out about 20 times that the seating chart the planner sent over wasn't to scale. It wasn't meant to be to scale, it was meant to show the table layout.
Finally, she gives the three-row thing a rest and plans the tables in the two rows. But she has one of my cousins' families all alone at a table and she doesn't know what to do with them. So I made a kids table, moved all the kids 6+ to that, and rearranged the cousins so they were with the cousins they grew up with. Sent that over to my mom. She calls me back tonight all excited because she figured it out. Basically, all the kids are at their parents tables, and one more cousin has been moved over to my loner cousin. Then, she has an empty table in the corner labeled the "teen table" (because that's cooler than a kids table) and kids can get a "pass" to go to the teen table. How is this being communicated? Who is making the passes? Things not explained.
Basically what caused all of this was one of aunts asked my mom if her granddaughter could sit with her mom because she was shy. She's not shy. She's a nice girl who can carry a conversation just fine. But this one conversation I think put my mom into a total pleaser mode. Two seats for every kid! I pushed back- saying that I think the adults would prefer to have adult time with the cousins they grew up with. And she retorts that the current batch of kids "didn't grow up like we did" and she doesn't know if they'll talk so she wants to make sure everyone has options.
I really appreciate that she's taking guest comfort this far... but I also think it is a total cluster. But she's so adamant about doing it her way, I'm not sure if there is anything more to say about why I think it isn't necessary to have two seats for every kid.
Re: My mom is totally overthinking the seating chart
Hell if her mom wants to do it, I say have at it, Mom! Thanks!
One less thing for the OP to have to deal with, right?
Unless you already had taken the time to set up the seating and have a preference, @sbmini ><
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
If they're paying, they do get says, so you would either need to decline their money and throw the wedding you and your FI can afford, or you'll need to find things you can let them have says on. If there's anything that's an absolute dealbreaker, you need to pay for those yourself. You can then tell them, "Mom, Dad, you can do whatever you want aside from X, Y, and Z. I realize you're paying for everything else, but those are final decisions and yelling at me and making demands will not change them."
I'm sorry that they're giving you so much shit. My parents probably will too.
I hope your parents don't cause scenes at your wedding.
12 adults per table is way too cramped! 10 per table is too cramped, especially considering all of the place settings, your centerpieces, your liquor bottles, etc on the table.
8 adults per table is what is usually the most comfortable, but it might be too late to change that now.
How much of a pain in the ass would it be to redo the seating so you only have 8 per table? Would you have to have extra tables brought in?
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Venues will always try and tell you that you can fit 10 people on a 50" or 60" round table, and that is honestly not true. For events where there is a lot of stuff on the tables- like your wedding- 8 adults is the max for comfortable seating on a 50" 0r 60" round.
So a venue may claim they don't have seating for 8, but actually they do. You just have to insist you don't want any more than 8 adults per table.
It may be too late to make changes, but if there is a possibility of adding more tables, and you have the room for it in the venue space, and decreasing the number of guests per table I would try.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."