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Two "moms" no dad--HELP

jlspadaccinojlspadaccino member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

I am getting married next year and I have a strange family dynamic and need help...

I was raised by my mother and my godmother. I originally planned on having them both walk me down the aisle in lieu of a father figure since I dont really have one in my life, but my mother was not thrilled with that idea. I was wondering what I could do to include my godmother to make her feel just as special, without making my mom feel less important. I want them both to play an important part in the ceremony, but I am strapped for ideas.

Any suggestions are welcomed--my fiance and I are NOT traditional at all.

Thank you in advance!

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Re: Two "moms" no dad--HELP

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Are you having a  unity candle ceremony?  Both Mom and Godmother could light one candle.
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    jlspadaccino said:

    I am getting married next year and I have a strange family dynamic and need help...

    I was raised by my mother and my godmother. I originally planned on having them both walk me down the aisle in lieu of a father figure since I dont really have one in my life, but my mother was not thrilled with that idea. I was wondering what I could do to include my godmother to make her feel just as special, without making my mom feel less important. I want them both to play an important part in the ceremony, but I am strapped for ideas.

    Any suggestions are welcomed--my fiance and I are NOT traditional at all.

    Thank you in advance!


    Who is your officiant?  Can it be your godmother?  She could also do a reading or sing.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
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    Could she say the blessing before the meal (if that is something you are doing)?

    My father is deceased and as much as I love my step-father it just didn't feel right to me to have him walk me down the aisle so I asked him to do the blessing. 
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  • KatWAGKatWAG member
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    Can she do a reading or make a toast?
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Well, your godmother could in fact be an attendant, or a reader, singer, or usher if any of those roles fit her.  She could also offer a toast.
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  • jlspadaccinojlspadaccino member
    First Comment
    Love the unity candle idea--and the toast idea as well!! Do you think that is enough? The officiant idea is great,too, but I am not sure how comfortable she would feel doing that.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Get her a corsage that is different from your mom's. We got our godparents all flowers.
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  • lc07lc07 member
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    The problem with the unity candle idea is that there are usually three candles. Two are lit by the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom, traditionally to represent the upbringing of both the bride and the groom. Then the third candle, is lit by the couple signifying their lives coming together. It would be odd to not have the groom's side represented in the unity candle ceremony. You would just be unifying with representation from your family alone if your mother and god mother lit the two candles.
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  • jlspadaccinojlspadaccino member
    First Comment
    edited April 2014
    No---i was thinking of having my mom and his mom actually light the candles, and instead of having the officiant orchestrate the unity candle ceremony, I would have her do it. (for example, explaining what it meant, and reading the prayer that goes with it).
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