Putting an ending time on shower invitation?

nitabonita1225 · April 2014

Is it better to put a set amount of time on the shower invite (e.g. 1:30-4:00) or to just state a starting time? I've seen both and feel like it may not really be necessary to put an ending time. Interested in other thoughts. Thanks!

KeptInStitches · April 2014

Set amount of time. I'd like to know when the shower is expected to end just in case, say, I have evening plans.

QueerFemme · April 2014

I'm with scribe. the only time I put an end time on an invitation, is if it's sort of an open house type of event. Like, we have an annual holiday party. People come and go all day/evening. We don't want someone showing up after the "end" time. So, we say "3pm - 11pm" or something like that. for a shower, I think it would just naturally wrap up.

RebeccaB88 · April 2014

I've never seen a shower invitation without an end time.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

Showers will naturally wrap up after the guest of honor has opened the gifts. That pretty much signifies that if you want to leave you can. So an end time is really not necessary.

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

I've almost always seen shower invites with end times, and I appreciate them, like @KeptInStitches, in case I have evening plans, or in case DH wants to do something else, so we know roughly how much time is involved.

If I'm going to be at a shower and he wants to go golfing, if I know the approximate end time, we can plan the end of his golfing outing to coincide with the end of the shower.

Also, and please don't hate me for this, I love knowing how long they're expected to last because I can then judge, based on time of day, how many games there are going to be.

Ex.: A shower that goes from noon to 2 on a Saturday is probably not going to have a lot of games, because 'til we eat a meal and the guest of honour opens her gifts, there's not much time left. A shower that goes from 1 to 5 is probably going to have several games. I just like to be prepared.

photokitty · April 2014

We always put an end time...I hate when I'm at a shower and 3 hours in I'm wondering when I can leave. If the shower will last more than 2 hours I would prefer to see an end tome so I can plan my day.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2014

I'm with @scribe95 and @queerfemme- I would not put an end time on a shower invitation.

In my circle, that would be considered poor hosting and rude, because it gives the impression that you are trying to run people out of the door at the end of the event. People tend to know already how long showers are going to run, based on experience.

Maggie0829 · April 2014

For those that want an end time, you do realize that you aren't forced to stay for any length of time right? If you and your SO want to go to dinner that night at 6pm and you have a shower at 3pm then stay for an hour or so, go to the guest of honor and host and tell them that you unfortunately have to run but thanks for everything. This is not difficult nor is it rude.

jdluvr06 · April 2014

In my circle it would depend on the shower location. If it is in someone's house then there would be no end time on invite. If the shower is in a rented space you only have for a certain amount of time then there would be an end time on the invite.

ei34 · April 2014

I haven't received a shower invite with an end time. I've also never attended a shower that didn't last between 3 and 4 hours, so if I am invited to a shower that starts at 1, I'm able to guess what time it'll be over. As PP's have said, showers have a way of wrapping themselves up. And I believe it was Maggie, but agreed as well that if you have to leave before it's over, you may.

Jen4948 · April 2014

Showers and parties do have their own flow, yes, and an open-ended invitation is fine, but I wouldn't mind if there's an end time. In fact, getting an invitation with an end time allows me to do some planning about transportation and my activities after the shower, which I'd appreciate.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

I like knowing the end time. Most of our friends have moved further away, and I would really not enjoy taking a 2-3 hour drive each way for a party that lasted 2 hours total, kwim? Just because parties in our social circle flow a certain way and take a certain amount of time, it doesn't mean showers and such thrown by people not normally in our social circle but to which we are invited will have the same flow.

carliealissa · April 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

I like knowing the end time. Most of our friends have moved further away, and I would really not enjoy taking a 2-3 hour drive each way for a party that lasted 2 hours total, kwim? Just because parties in our social circle flow a certain way and take a certain amount of time, it doesn't mean showers and such thrown by people not normally in our social circle but to which we are invited will have the same flow.

So are you saying you probably wouldn't go to a shower 2-3 hours away if you knew ahead of time it was only going to last 2 hours? Would you go if it were 4 hours? 3 hours? I understand the hassle of a long drive, but it seems odd that should be the deciding factor. You either are close enough to the person/want to go enough to make the trip, or you don't.

Love_Cam · April 2014

I think it depends on what kind of shower it is and what time it is. For example: shower at night, starting at 7? Probably don't have to put one. Display shower Saturday at 2? I would put one.

Cookie Pusher · April 2014

carliealissa said:
So are you saying you probably wouldn't go to a shower 2-3 hours away if you knew ahead of time it was only going to last 2 hours? Would you go if it were 4 hours? 3 hours? I understand the hassle of a long drive, but it seems odd that should be the deciding factor. You either are close enough to the person/want to go enough to make the trip, or you don't.

If it required me to take unpaid time off from work? No, I wouldn't. I would send a nice gift, but I would not miss wages for such a short event. Also, if the invitation said the shower started at 2, was an hour away, and I had to be at work until 2... if it's going to end at 4, I don't know that it would be worthwhile to drive just to be there for the last hour of the party. If I knew it was going to go another 2 or 3 hours, then I would absolutely rush out of work to attend. This is one of the downsides of having a job with non-traditional hours. Taking unpaid time off for every event you get invited to doesn't pay the bills. I could love you dearly, but if I had to take an entire day off unpaid just to see you for 2 hours, it's unlikely I would do it - I would find another time to see you.

nitabonita1225 · April 2014

Seems like there are some mixed opinions on this one. I'm going to think it over a little more, and I appreciate all the perspectives I got on this. Thanks everyone!

Putting an ending time on shower invitation?

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