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Invitations for guest who will be out of the country for wedding?

buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

As FI and I were getting our guest list together last night to get ready to send STDs, we called his cousin to get her contact info. She asked when the wedding was, we told her December 12th, she informed us she's flying out to Poland December 11th. She said she wasn't going to make it for the wedding, but wants to be invited to my shower.

So now I'm in a bind because I know that if I tell whoever is planning the bridal shower to invite her, I must invite her to the wedding. But, I know she's not going to be there for the wedding. On the other hand, plans change and she might stay home. Right now we have plenty of money in the budget to invite her, but she insisted FI not to waste the time and effort to send her an STD, invite, etc.

Should I just pretend she never told us she was going away before the wedding and keep things status quo or should I not send an STD and invite but have her come to the bridal shower anyway? I know that's not the right thing, but she was really insistent about this. Or, not send an STD and just send in invite?

Ugh, why is this stressing me out at 7am???

Thanks in advance for any info and thoughts on this. Has anyone been through this before?

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image 59 Invited
image 36 Yes
image 2 No
image 21 Unknown
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Re: Invitations for guest who will be out of the country for wedding?

  • SammiNJonniSammiNJonni member
    Tenth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    Pretend she never told you and invite her anyway. Plans change it and it will be nice for her to see that you want her there regardless of if she can make it.
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  • nmsanmsa member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    We have a few close family members on my fiancé's side who live out of the country and will not be able to get a visa or make the trip for the wedding, which we knew way before we sent the invitations out. We sent them anyway so they would have them, and so they would know we were thinking of them. 

    Don't stress out. It's not worth pulling your hair out over. Send all of the stuff, and if you are feeling weird about it, you can put in a little note with her invitation along the lines of, we know you'll be out of the country, we want you to know we'll be thinking of you and hope we can get together soon after your return, etc. etc..

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  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd still send the invite. She won't side eye and would probably be touched that you care about her enough to put the effort into inviting her and letting her know that you would truly love to have her there if she could.
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Invite her to the wedding and shower, if you want.  She might go to Poland and not be able to go to your wedding or her plans might change and she will be able to.
    image
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  • buddysmom80buddysmom80 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper

    So I just talked to FI about the ideas that everyone gave us, and we both agreed to pretend that she never said she was going to Poland and to send her an invite.

    Thanks so much ladies!!!

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
    Report Reply
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