I am not sure how involved your spouses were in wedding planning, but FI is kind of "letting me" take care of most of it. He weighs in, says things when he really wants them, but for the most part, the planning has been on my plate. I sort of get it- it is in my hometown, I am the bride and am supposed to care about all the details, etc. He helps when asked, so this isn't really a complaint against him so much as it is his family.
We told his three brothers (his GMs) to wear grey suits and we would get their ties. FSIL asked on Easter what color grey- I said we didn't care. Then she wanted to know black or brown shoes. Said we didn't care about that either.
Then she looks at me and says that I am the bride, I have to care, if I don't tell people what to wear who knows what they will show up in?! She had a bit of an attitude about it- that as the bride, I have to make all the decisions and we need to provide more guidance. Um, we DID tell them- grey suits. They are grown men, I am not telling them what kind of shoes to wear and we honestly DON'T care what color grey they are. You can never count on FIs brothers to be ON TIME for anything, but they are always dressed very well and all wear suits on a regular basis. We didn't want to make them get new suits and honestly, any grey is fine.
But the point of my story is why do I have to be the One Who Cares About All The Things? Nobody seems bothered much when FI doesn't care, but it is this BFD when I don't because I am the bride and I am apparently missing the Cares About Shoe Color gene. I told him he needs to talk to his family about not putting so much pressure on me because this is the kind of stuff that gets to me WAY more than it honestly should, but FI knows that about me. Ugh.