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what to tell people at bridal shower when they ask where fmil is

hyechica81hyechica81 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
in Wedding 911
so my fmil is not attending my shower next week. shes in her mid 70s had fi later in life. shes not really excited about the wedding thinks its to lavish for her tastes said she cant see fi getting married bla bla. hes told her many times he needs to move on with his life and get married hes a grown man he makes his own decisions.


anyways she sent my sister a cold kinda of response on the shower how she was not attending but inclosed is a gift.

what if people start to ask at my shower where is his mom? what do i say

she has some health problems so my thinking was i could say she has problems with her knees lately and does not like to go very far so she could not make it
but then that's a lame excuse

option b was to tell them shes not coming and change the subject
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Re: what to tell people at bridal shower when they ask where fmil is

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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    I can't imagine many people would actually ask that question.  If someone were to ask, all that is required of you is to say, "She was unable to attend today."  I would follow that up with, "It is so good to see you.  Thanks so much for coming today.  Have you had a chance to eat something"?
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    chibiyuichibiyui member
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    I have a hard time thinking anyone would ask. If they do, a simple "She was unable to make it today" will suffice. 
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    QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    You don't give information or explanations for anyone's whereabouts but your own. If someone is rude enough to ask, you respond "she couldn't make it".

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    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

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    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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    larrygagalarrygaga member
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    Are people really that rude for asking? I wouldn't think twice about asking where someone important was at a wedding-related event. I doubt whoever asks means any harm by it, just casually wondering.

    I would only ask if I knew her well and expected her there, though. 

    Anyway, "She couldn't make it" is enough and the best way to respond. Don't make anything up, or people might worry about her health. 
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    larrygaga said:

    Are people really that rude for asking? I wouldn't think twice about asking where someone important was at a wedding-related event. I doubt whoever asks means any harm by it, just casually wondering.


    I would only ask if I knew her well and expected her there, though. 

    Anyway, "She couldn't make it" is enough and the best way to respond. Don't make anything up, or people might worry about her health. 
    Yes, it really is. When someone 'important' is missing from a WR-event, you don't just up and ask people, 'Oh, where's your father/FMIL/parents.'

    If they're a traditionally key figure (MOB, FOB, MOG, FOG) and they're not there, it is MUCH more polite to assume there's a good reason for their absence and not ask.

    Ex.: My husband's parents weren't invited to our wedding. Why? Because they were verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to him growing up.

    But that is not the business of our wedding guests. They don't NEED to know that. And had anyone been gauche enough to ask, they would have been shut down with a very frosty, 'They're not here,' delivered through gritted teeth and with a facial expression that squelched any further questions.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Don't make up a lie about her health. Just say she wasn't able to make it. 
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You just say she couldn't make it. This is seriously not that hard. Also, why did you post this on 911? It's NOT an "emergency," AND you're not new here. You know this is sort of an obscure board for newbies who haven't really found the forums yet. You are an active poster on TK. This whole post is weird to me.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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