If you don't want to come, don't! (Rant)

ShadeofGreen816 · April 2014

Sorry in advance but I'm just going crazy listening to my family complain about my wedding. Background is that I live in Indiana, we are getting married in South Carolina. Of my 125 person guest list, about 45 are just my family, who I love and we are relatively close. However, not one of my family members (besides my very supportive parents) live in Indiana. So, one of many reasons that a DW sounded like a good idea was that the family who was going to be able to afford to fly to Indiana can also afford to fly to SC (for a few it's actually closer). There are a few that I knew would never be able to afford either scenario, which makes me sad that they won't be there but I just can't fix those problems for them.

In any case, one of my aunts in particular is complaining bitterly about the hassle and process of making plane reservations and how "no one" but her and one uncle can afford to come (not true). We both keep telling her that we would love to see her and she is very welcome but we understand it it's too difficult. To which she replies, "of course I'll be there!"

....so stop complaining!!!

Sorry, just had to get that one off my chest! FWIW, this aunt has a very good job, is well off, and is on the west coast so she would have had to fly regardless.

ETA: paragraphs!

JCbride2015 · April 2014

Bummer. It sounds like she just wants you to fall all over yourself with gratitude that she is flying out for the wedding. Just be super thankful and hopefully she'll let it go. :-/

HisGirlFriday13 · April 2014

I'm sorry. That's always the crappy part of wedding planning; no matter what locale you pick, SOMEONE is unhappy.

(((HUGS)))

AddieCake · April 2014

That sucks. It's so inappropriate for her to be endlessly bitching and making you feel bad.

If you click the icon with the red arrows, you can do Ipad paragraphs.

500days · April 2014

I have threads upon threads of family emails all complaining about my wedding too. It's an hour away. I thought I was being mindful of family when I booked my venue. Apparently not. Some people just like to talk/complain/make a fuss no matter what. I will admit, sometimes I am tempted to just say that we are eloping due to wedding complaints ;-)

gmcr78 · April 2014

My sister had a DW and we have a cousin who bitched her out via her RSVP card about how she couldn't afford to come. It said something like this: "Not everyone can afford to fly off to (city of DW). Have fun with the ELITE."
Needless to say, she didn't get invited to my wedding, which took place 6 months after my sister's. I am finished with putting up with her horrible behavior (which is ongoing, this is just the last straw) and no longer want anything to do with her.

HaileyDancingbear · April 2014

Ugh I just don't understand why people feel the need to do that. To bitch about a decision THEY have made. When I make a decision to do something, and it turns out to be a pain in the ass, I suck it up- If I have committed to it, I have committed, and bitching does nothing other than make the people around me feel bad. And I really hate making the people around me feel bad.

Although I will mention that I definitely think venting or ranting on here is different from bitching to people IRL. We're all strangers who aren't personally involved, and therefore won't take it personally (Unless you're just excessively offensive) so venting on here is fine. I think it's very healthy to let out negative emotions in a way that will not harm those around you. Bitching at people so they feel bad is harmful, but venting on here is a harmless way to get things off your chest.

MuppetOverlord · April 2014

That sucks.

When I get an invitation that has a wedding far away from where I am I consider 1) How much i care about the couple 2) Do I have any interest in that destination 3) Do I have the time? and 4) Can I afford it?

If any of the above questions is answered negatively, I simply mark "0" attending on the RSVP and mail it. End of transaction. I don't understand why it has to be more than that for anyone....ever.

@500days - I had a few people bitch about 1 - 1.5 hour drive. In New England, everything's that far away. I didn't listen to it. Don't listen to people.

VulgarGirl · April 2014

We haven't sent out invites yet but we're already getting complaints about having a wedding in downtown. From people who live 20 minutes from downtown.

ShadeofGreen816 · April 2014

Thanks for the support! I sometimes feel guilty about having our DW. I KNOW its more expensive for people, but we're trying to make it as painless as possible once they get there (also having hosted dinner/drinks on Friday night for new arrivals). But I have to keep reminding myself that some of these people would have found a reason to complain no matter what we did or where we did it!

And I totally agree @HaileyDancingBear that it is much more hurtful when it's actually personal (although some people take EVERYTHING personally, even on this site…). But in that same vein, I would never say anything like this to my family members because I love them and they love me - in our own ways. I just nod and say Oh I'm so sorry that you're a grown adult and can't seem to figure out how to make your plane reservation to the correct airport….

apparently, I'm not quite over it all!

If you don't want to come, don't! (Rant)

Re: If you don't want to come, don't! (Rant)

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