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Rehearsal dinner timing?

SJM7538SJM7538 member
5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I met with our venue yesterday to finalize the menu and go over some other details. They informed me when I was there that they booked a wedding for the night before mine ours is on a Saturday so we can't get in until 630 for rehearsal. We're getting married in October so it will be dark out which means we will have to rehearse inside but we are supposed to be getting married outside... Annoying but whatever.

So my question... If we rehearse Friday night we need to do an early dinner first and then rehearse otherwise well be eating at 8pm and the venue is already 45 minutes from everyone. Maybe an hour for others.

Or we can do everything on Thursday night at a normal hour. My fianc is okay with Thursday but I'm iffy about it.
I think it's very inconvenient for people.

What does everyone think?

And I know the wedding isn't until October but if we are going to have the Dinner at our venue I need to let them know as soon as possible so they can book us a separate room bc there will be about 40 people attending.
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Re: Rehearsal dinner timing?

  • SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Sorry I typed in paragraphs but I'm on my phone so it didnt work
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  • manjermjmanjermj member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    If you have wedding party members coming in from out of town, please do not do a Thursday rehearsal. That would mean taking an extra day off work and an extra day in the hotel. 

    Our rehearsal was at 5:30 with dinner to follow at the end of January. I think you could easily just have the 6:30 rehearsal then dinner afterwards. I think that would be the best option especially since you're having dinner right there at the venue. 
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  • SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to Re:Rehearsal dinner timing?:[QUOTE]If you have wedding party members coming in from out of town, please do not do a Thursday rehearsal. That would mean taking an extra day off work and an extra day in the hotel.nbsp;Our rehearsal was at 5:30 with dinner to follow at the end of January. I think you could easily just have the 6:30 rehearsal then dinner afterwards. I think that would be the best option especially since you're having dinner right there at the venue.nbsp; Posted by manjermj[/QUOTE]

    No one is coming in from out of town. I was just worried about Friday... We can't eat TOO early without people have to leave work early but I don't want people to feel like I'm taking up their entire night or be annoyed that they may be getting home so late. Maybe I'm overthinking it
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    It should be okay to have dinner first, then rehearsal. I like that option better than a thursday rehearsal if  you have a lot of people coming in from out of town.

    Your paragraphs are showing up fine. :)
    image
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I would have dinner after the rehearsal.   I would be annoyed at a Thursday RD.   

      My circle eats after 8 often, so it would not be a big deal to us.  Nor would we be annoyed that it would "take over our entire night".   Maybe my social group is weird, but it's pretty much understood if you are in the WP, the night before and the day of are all pretty much devoted to the wedding.   ::shrugs::






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    You're completely overthinking this.  People expect the rehersal dinner to take up their evening and 8pm is a completely normal dinner time.  I think you'd get more problems trying to rush everyone out to a 5pm dinner straight from work.
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2013
    We had our rehearsal at 6:00 on Friday night, with dinner at 7:30.  8:00 is a bit later for dinner than I would normally eat, but I would prefer that to a Thursday night rehearsal, even if I was local.

    Edit: Also, if the venue is 45 minutes to an hour away for some people, and they work until 5:00 (I'm not sure if this is the case with anyone in your WP, but it is a fairly typical time to get off work), you really couldn't start much before 6:30 anyway.  So I wouldn't do dinner before the rehearsal if it means people will have to take off work.
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  • GardenMavenGardenMaven
    First Comment
    I would stay stick with the Friday rehearsal and dinner after.  We are doing a rehearsal off site, because if we want to do one on site we would have to do it the Wednesday before our Saturday wedding.  Obviously that is not going to happen, especially with all but one of our wedding party members coming from out of state.  
    image
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  • jlieberthaljlieberthal member
    First Comment
    I would just have a late dinner on Friday.  8:00 isn't that late for a Friday night dinner.  Maybe offer a small snack before the rehearsal if it's possible?  I really think it'd be a pain to do the dinner on Thursday.  Hope that helps.

    Julie
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  • jnewby33jnewby33 member
    First Comment
    Maybe you should ask everyone in the wedding party and then go from there. If they don't mind doing it on a Thursday then so be it. If Friday works better make sure you let them know when you ask them that it will mean a late dinner. They may just grab a snack before and be good until dinner. Honestly it's your wedding. If you want a friday rehearsal with a late dinner because thats what you want then do it.
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  • emgallagher3emgallagher3
    First Comment
    We are having our rehearsal on Thursday even though we have a few out of town groomsmen.  They do not seem to mind and everyone has actually said how pleased they are that they'll have all day Friday to prepare for the big day on Sunday.  My fiance and his groomsmen are going golfing and the girls will get our nails done.  
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  • bpaddackbpaddack
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-timing-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:b7b4e3d9-f152-43cf-a2c1-f4f2b5cba41aPost:cba0f948-cc80-4b27-832f-b9fe2bc259aa">Re:Rehearsal dinner timing?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Rehearsal dinner timing?: No one is coming in from out of town. I was just worried about Friday... We can't eat TOO early without people have to leave work early but I don't want people to feel like I'm taking up their entire night or be annoyed that they may be getting home so late. Maybe I'm overthinking it
    Posted by SJM7538[/QUOTE]

    I think you are overthinking this. People expect to spend the whole evening with you for these functions and they should WANT to spend the whole evening with you. Have fun and enjoy your time, people should not be upset by you trying so hard to accomidate their schedules.
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  • nml1820nml1820
    First Comment
    I think that a late dinner is not a problem as long as guests are aware of the dinner time.  That way, if they need to grab a snack to hold them over until, they will be prepared instead of starving and cranky!!  :)
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  • nelli1220nelli1220
    First Comment
    edited February 2013
    I think you should do whatever your heart desires. Yes it is nice to be mindful of your WP but honestly its your wedding and the last thing you need to be stressing over is the rehersal dinner. If your WP is ok with Thursday then go with Thursday, if not then tell them Friday it is, but it will be a late start. Let them decide.
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  • JazzylizaJazzyliza member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    I completely agree with this! Absolutely nothing wrong with having dinner at 8pm. Plus, folks just want to relax after the rehearsal and much preferable for the champagne to start flowing after the rehearsal than before!
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  • Hollis2013Hollis2013 member
    First Comment
    I'm doing my rehearsal on a Thursday but my wedding is on Good Friday so it is still the night before the wedding & no one has to be up & at work Friday morning. However, we are having a super small rehearsal dinner because we don't have a bridal party other than our two daughters being flower girls.

    I could see how getting 40 people together on a Thursday would be rough especially if most of those people are planning to work on Friday morning.

    Have you thought about doing the rehearsal somewhere else all together? I mean... if you're not going to be able to do your rehearsal in the ACTUAL spot you're getting married anyway, then maybe it makes more sense to do it somewhere else, where you could get started early enough on Friday night? Just a thought!

    Good luck, my best advice is that whatever you choose, choose it soon & stick with it so people know what to expect & can even request off work for Friday if you choose to do the late Thursday rehearsal.
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  • boehmk10boehmk10
    First Comment
    My fiance and I are in the same boat-wedding on Saturday in October and there is an event the night before. We are having our rehearsal dinner on Thursday night. 1. It will be less stressful for US and we will have a whole day before the wedding to get anything that is left to do done. 2. In my experience, restaurants are more willing to work with you for a Thursday night dinner than a Friday night dinner-so you might be able to do the dinner portion a little cheaper.
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