I need help! My head count is due to the venue this week and I still haven't received a response from FI's aunt. After a few phone calls to her from us and his mom trying to get ahold of her she finally emailed me back today.
As some back story: She's been on again off again with a guy for a couple months. Their relationship status changes probably every week or so, from GF/BF to engaged to not together at all. My FMIL decided (against my judgement which was expressed multiple times to his mom) not to invite the on again off again boyfriend to the wedding as part of their 75 person limit.
So now the Aunt is emailing me asking me whether or not he's invited and if not they'll come for the ceremony and leave or pay for his plate themselves at the reception. She also threw in a line "As you know we got engaged in December and are working on combining households." I sent the email to FMIL who said she will be highly offended if we allow him to come but did not allow her close friends she also had to cut (she originally wanted like 120 invited just for herself). She was also upset about the fact that we did not allow a B list in the first place.. Yep, this is what I've been dealing with all along.
I know ettiquette wise he should be invited and should have been in the first place (I did express this to her multiple times), but the week invites were sent out they were "off." I also know he who pays gets a say, so I don't know what to do.
At this point FMIL wants me to respond with something generic like "It was really tough to make the guest list but cuts had to be made. Unfortunately we cannot add anyone else to the list." I don't feel like this will solve the issue at all, so it's either I upset his mother who is contributing financially to the wedding, or I upset his aunt (and probably grandmom) for not inviting the boyfriend/fiance/exboyfriend depending on the week.
How would you respond?
Edited because my paragraphs aren't working.