Not Engaged Yet

A whole year

Ladies of NEY! Today is my one-year anniversary of joining TK and getting involved in this board. What a great year it's been! We all see a ton of posts where people critique this board quite fiercely, so I just wanted to post all the warm fuzzy things I feel about NEY for this occasion. <3

-When I was a serious newb, maybe posting for a week or two, I had some family stuff come up late one night. I decided to just post a vent, not really expecting anyone to respond to it, and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, there was so much love and well wishes from all you internet strangers. I was so touched by how you all reached out to me and comforted me during a time when I felt absolutely alone. I will never forget that.

-You were all so. frickin. supportive during my break-up. I went from having this guy who I really thought I was going to marry, to realizing that even though he's a stellar person, we were not right for each other for life. It was a very difficult time for me, and you all made it actually bearable - and probably prevented me from making some huge mistakes like trying to go back to him. Reading and re-reading your posts of encouragement and advice, and all of the PMs several of you sent me, was truly one of the huge things that reminded me to trust myself and my decision. 6 months later, I KNOW it was a good one, and I thank you for keeping me accountable and helping me be strong. I feel so much better now that I've been through the heartbreak and uncertainty of that decision, and you all got me through.

-In general, this board makes me think hard about the content of my thoughts and how I choose to present it. Although in the beginning I was a little intimidated by this board, I have never felt attacked or dismissed, and I have learned so much about how to communicate what I think in a firm but non-offensive way. I've also learned that opinions are good, but evidence to support them is better. I really enjoy the discussions we have on this board, like @audrewuh's recent post on schools in TX, and I look forward to participating in them in the future.

-Y'all are just very welcoming. I love how, when someone takes a moment to introduce themselves, you take the time to ask questions and get to understand what they're about. It feels so nice to be noticed and encouraged to share yourself with the group.

-I really enjoyed meeting some of the East coast NEYers in January!

-Probably a million other things I'm forgetting.

This is gonna be a bit of a post-and-run since I have to go get my hurr did in a little while. Just wanted to send each and every one of a you a HUGE hug. It's been a great year of getting to know you all. :)

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Re: A whole year

  • I second everything that you said! When I was in BSC-land back in late 2011/early 2012, this board gave me my sanity back and kept me in line.

    Then, it gave me countless strong women that I can turn to for support.

    Then, several of those women became IRL best friends. And I have only NEY to thank for that.

    PS - it was great to meet you! I wish we'd been able to spend more time together (and that I hadn't been so freaking hungover!!)

    PPS - The number of times I've laughed hysterically from something someone posted on this board = infinity * 8.
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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer



    When I first started posting on NEY, I never in a million years thought it would become such a big part of my life. I never could have guessed that some of the people I would meet here would become some of my very best friends.

    I love how open we can be. I love that we can have rational discussions and that (for the most part) when things do get heated, everyone is respectful. 

    I just feel so incredibly fortunate to have found this board and I'm grateful that you all let me continue to be a part of it, even in my old married hagdom <3

  • @clogreeneyes it feels like you've been on here longer, that's because we love you!!!!!

    I'm the type of person who will lurk forums or blogs for years and never comment. I was at a point in my life where I didn't know who my friends were or if they were genuine and I just needed new people to talk to. I lurked this board a lot (and a lot of TK, my BSC was kind of showing).

    From that point forward, I have met a great group of women. I never had friendships like I do now. I know that no matter what advice I need, or whatever I need to vent or I need a shoulder to cry on, I have you ladies.

    Also you ladies make some of the best drinking buddies!


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  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    We love you, @clogreeneyes!!!


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  • I agree with everything you said. <3 you too.

    I started posting probably about 3 years ago.  I learned to calm down relax enjoy today.  I have gotten some great advice that prevented me from going over the deep end on the BSC scale.  I love having you guys as a part of my life so much.


  • Agreed. I don't know how long I've been around these parts. Maybe 3 years? I blame grad school. I wanted out so anything to distract me was welcome and then I learned to love you guys!!

    We are some smart and determined ladies and it's so great to grow our friendships.

    I was on Facebook yesterday and like 90% of my "friends you might know" were NEYers lol. I may have to act on that someday if anything to learn how to say @swazzle's last name (mine is way more boring!)

    Love you all and yay to one year @clogreeneyes!
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    @Blue! Add me! 

  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    @Swazzle - I was friends with Blue on FB first (before you)! :-p

    Also, I know I wasn't around much of your first year, but I like you already! Lots of warm fuzzies @CLoGreenEyes

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  • I second all of this.  This board has changed me in ways I never dreamed of being changed by an internet forum.

    I started posting here in June(ish) of 2010.  And in that time, I've had SO many laughs.  I've shared so many tears.  I've developed some very real, and meaningful, friendships.  And I've learned so SO much.

    The ladies on this board, particularly @livleighton and @cu97tiger have taught me SO much about thinking like an adult.  And being mature.  And trying to see things from other points of view.

    The ladies on this board have taught me to learn to co-exist, learn from, and be respectful towards people you don't necessarily like.  And they taught me to see the good sides of everyone, even the people you don't mesh with.  I guess you could say they taught me tolerance and to appreciate a diversity of opinion.

    The ladies on this board have taught me to be self aware.  I can honestly say that a lot of my personal growth and maturity over the past several years has come from some of the most heated arguments around here.  I can have a tendency to become really harsh and blast people when I get really offended.  I've really tried to work on that and see situations from multiple perspectives.  And now when I disagree, I try to be less "go for the jugular"/"always make sure you win"/"if they're going to hurt me, I'm going to hurt them", and be more reasonable/logical.

    And most of the ladies here have shown me incredible kindness.  I moved halfway across the country, and @suzie211 showed me immediate kindness and friendship, no questions asked.  The morning of my wedding, @LivLeighton drank mimosas with my family, danced the night away, and it kinda felt like she belonged there all along.  And there are MANY NEYers that I talk to several time s a week, if not several times a day.  What an amazing group of ladies.

    So for all of that, and so much more (I could literally go on and on), I will always be grateful to NEY/TK.

    [Insert warm fuzzies.]

  • Love you @CloGreeneyes

    This board has been so amazing for me since I joined back towards the end of 2012. I remember H and I were still dating but marriage was on the mind. I'm pretty sure I was on the BSC train and once I read post after post after post on this board I definitely calmed my engagement craziness down. It was funny to me though because once that happened was when H actually proposed lol. 

    I don't think I could have planned my wedding like I did without being on this board. The countless advice and awesome examples given were so helpful through that process. 

    Now I get to help my big sister plan her wedding and go through the excitement all over again!
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