August 2015 Weddings

Engagement Party!

Hello to my fellow August 2015 Brides!!! 

FI and I are planning an "I Do" BBQ for our engagement party. My apartment building has a huge backyard, and I thought it would be a great informal way for our families and friends to get together for a celebration (40-50 guests). I am marrying into a family of a different ethnicity, and it should be fun to have dishes from both of our cultures represented. 

I definitely want to go with "popped the question" style favors. At the top of my list are cake pops, which would also double as dessert. I'm hoping a cake pop party would be a great team building activity with my 5 bridesmaids. 

I have two issues:

1.) I live on the third floor of my walk-up building. It was suggested that I rent a port-a-potty to avoid guests going up and down the stairs. Like most brides, I am on a budget, and they are costly. None of the people invited are handicapped. A few are elderly. I was thinking about rotating my bridesmaids on bathroom duty, which would also keep guests from wandering around my apartment. 

2.) I want to put a Honeymoon Fund jar on the dessert table. I think it's a bit on the tacky side to have one at a wedding reception, but I think it's totally acceptable for events leading up to the wedding. 

I would love to hear my fellow bride's opinions! Thanks a bunch!

Re: Engagement Party!

  • You can not host parties in honor of your self nor ask people to host them for you so unless someone offers to throw you an engagement party what you are doing is rude.

    Asking guests to open their wallet at any party is rude. Have the honeymoon you can afford do not ask your guests to pay for it. Those jars started out as a cute jar for the couple to save for themselves before someone posted them on pintrest as a way to get more money from guests.
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    misscoffeepleasemollyringwald15
  • ^ This. 

    You cannot host your own engagement party UNLESS someone offers it to you. Whether it be your friend, mom, sister, aunt or whoever. DO NOT HOST YOUR OWN ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

    Honeymoon Fund jar is usually frown upon on too. I would think it's best for you and your fiance to leave that jar at home. People are attending your engagement party (hosted by someone else) to celebrate and congratulate you on your engagement.
    mollyringwald15
  • edited April 2014

    Agree with PP's. You can't host your own party in your honor. Don't ask anybody to host for you. If nobody offers, you just do not have one. Nobody offered me one, I didn't have one.

    Honeyfund jar is extremely tacky at any event. Don't throw yourself an engagement party and you will save much more than the $15 and change you might "make" from a "cute" jar.

    Edited to add:

    I do not understand this bathroom duty that you are talking about. You are actually giving your bridesmaids a "shit" job? If I was asked to monitor a bathroom at a friends engagement party I would drop out of that wedding immediately.

    image
    misscoffeepleaseSammiNJonni
  • I have to say I disagree to some of what was said. If you and your fiance want your own engagement party, go for it. If we solely base the rationale on tradition, it is tradition for the bride's family to pay, but that does not always happen. We are celebrating the love of two people and the engagement party, if they so choose to have one, is the beginning of the journey towards marriage. 

    Now the bathroom duty, I would say no. Would you really want to be on bathroom duty? I would  recommend to lock all the doors that you can, put away the valuable and let people go to the bathroom  on their own. The honeymoon jar, cute concept, but I wouldn't do it. Not necessarily becausee it's rude, but because I personally think it's on the tacky side. Do a money dance at your wedding, BUT it's your day. Do you boo. You know your family and friends and the type of people they are. What we may think is tacky someone else will find cute. Be true to you.
    hallunscripted.blogspot.com
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    rodriguesavage
  • I have to say I disagree to some of what was said. If you and your fiance want your own engagement party, go for it. If we solely base the rationale on tradition, it is tradition for the bride's family to pay, but that does not always happen. We are celebrating the love of two people and the engagement party, if they so choose to have one, is the beginning of the journey towards marriage. 

    Now the bathroom duty, I would say no. Would you really want to be on bathroom duty? I would  recommend to lock all the doors that you can, put away the valuable and let people go to the bathroom  on their own. The honeymoon jar, cute concept, but I wouldn't do it. Not necessarily becausee it's rude, but because I personally think it's on the tacky side. Do a money dance at your wedding, BUT it's your day. Do you boo. You know your family and friends and the type of people they are. What we may think is tacky someone else will find cute. Be true to you.
     
     
    STUCK IN THE BOX
     
    Tradition does not equal ettiquette. I didn't say not to host your own party because it is against tradition, I said not to because it is horrid ettiquete, rude and distasteful. If I knew somebody was hosting their own party, I would not attend.
    image
    SammiNJonni
  • I'm not sure what stuck in the box means, so I can't reply to that.

    We didn't have an engagement party per say (my fam was in town for my mom birthday two days later, we had dinner and some cake), so I know very little about engagement parties, but from others I've heard/been to I can't even think who hosted. I personally don't think it is distasteful as tradition, etiquette, social norms, etc are changing, BUT I did look up some websites to read up on it more (so I can participate further in a civil conversation) and like the OPers it is suggested it by the parent, commonly bride's. So  excuse my ignorance, my bad for speaking prematurely. 

    I will add now we don't really know @AVSanon's story. Maybe it might be better to just have an "I Do" pre-wedding celebration versus an engagement party. 
    hallunscripted.blogspot.com
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    mollyringwald15
  • Stuck in the box is added because the formatting on the knot is terrible. Sometimes when you use the "quote" feature to add to something a previous poster said, it sticks your text in the blue box instead of adding it down below in the white space.

    Makes it difficult to see the difference between the original post being referenced and what is being added on. Adding "Stuck in the box" helps seperate the two. I don't think I explained that very well... it's early lol.

    image
  • My fiance and I are going to be having an engagement party to enjoy our special moment with our family. This will allow our family to meet each other some for the first time and we will be doing a small friends bonfire to celebrate our new adventure. Honestly if your family is as laid back as ours is there is no problem hosting it yourself. My fiance has 8 siblings, and many nieces nephews and with everyday life I don't think we would ever be able to see them all. Besides I would like to see everyone face to face then them just learning of the engagement on Facebook or other social media.
  • We're having our engagement party as well. Hosting it ourselves nothing huge just cupcakes and punch to get our families together and to get to know eachother and meet eachother for about three hours.
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