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Must I ask both of my fiance's sisters to be bridesmaids?

laughnluvlaughnluv member
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in Wedding Party
My fiance has two sisters: both older than me.  The eldest I don't know very well - we've just seen each other at holidays over the years but its been a couple years. I have a closer relationship with his second oldest sister.  We're close enough that I would consider asking her - though she is VERY busy. Do I need to ask either? I would like them to be a part of it, and I think family is important, but I also would like to have bridesmaids that I feel close to.

Also, can I just ask one sister and not the other? That seems awkward because both sisters are close.

I am considering asking neither but asking them to both do a reading, or asking one and asking the other to do a reading or something.

Thanks for your input!
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Re: Must I ask both of my fiance's sisters to be bridesmaids?

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    Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
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    No, you don't have to ask them to be your bridesmaids - those should be the people closest to you. You could always ask them each to do a reading if you want them to be involved in the ceremony, but that is up to you. You can also recognize them by giving them corsages and let them just be guests.
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    chibiyuichibiyui member
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    Short answer. No you do not have to ask either one. You can also just ask the one you are closer too. 

    Slightly longer answer. Consider the family dynamic, is eldest sister going to carry a grudge that her younger sister was asked and not her? Some people get irrationally upset over perceived slights against their rights to purchase an overpriced dress color coordinated dress they will wear once. If eldest is one of those people, you may find it easier to do an all or none sort of approach. You could also ask them to do a reading as a way of including them in the wedding. Your FI could also ask them to stand on his side. 
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    laughnluv said:

    My fiance has two sisters: both older than me.  The eldest I don't know very well - we've just seen each other at holidays over the years but its been a couple years. I have a closer relationship with his second oldest sister.  We're close enough that I would consider asking her - though she is VERY busy. Do I need to ask either? I would like them to be a part of it, and I think family is important, but I also would like to have bridesmaids that I feel close to.


    Also, can I just ask one sister and not the other? That seems awkward because both sisters are close.

    I am considering asking neither but asking them to both do a reading, or asking one and asking the other to do a reading or something.

    Thanks for your input!
    You may ask whomever you like, but I agree with considering family dynamics. If it would cause a rift to ask one but not the other, I would ask either both or neither.

    Since you mentioned having BMs you're close to, I would ask neither.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    laughnluv said:
    My fiance has two sisters: both older than me.  The eldest I don't know very well - we've just seen each other at holidays over the years but its been a couple years. I have a closer relationship with his second oldest sister.  We're close enough that I would consider asking her - though she is VERY busy. Do I need to ask either? I would like them to be a part of it, and I think family is important, but I also would like to have bridesmaids that I feel close to.

    Also, can I just ask one sister and not the other? That seems awkward because both sisters are close.

    I am considering asking neither but asking them to both do a reading, or asking one and asking the other to do a reading or something.

    Thanks for your input!
    Why do you have to be the one to ask them to do anything? This is your FI's family; if he wants them to be involved, let him do the asking.
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    mysticlmysticl member
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    zitiqueen said:
    laughnluv said:
    My fiance has two sisters: both older than me.  The eldest I don't know very well - we've just seen each other at holidays over the years but its been a couple years. I have a closer relationship with his second oldest sister.  We're close enough that I would consider asking her - though she is VERY busy. Do I need to ask either? I would like them to be a part of it, and I think family is important, but I also would like to have bridesmaids that I feel close to.

    Also, can I just ask one sister and not the other? That seems awkward because both sisters are close.

    I am considering asking neither but asking them to both do a reading, or asking one and asking the other to do a reading or something.

    Thanks for your input!
    Why do you have to be the one to ask them to do anything? This is your FI's family; if he wants them to be involved, let him do the asking.
    I don't know about OP but my DH would never have thought to ask anyone to do anything in our wedding other than asking his best man.  And I wasn't entirely sure he was going to do that.  
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    laughnluvlaughnluv member
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    Thank you for your input everyone! It was really helpful.
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    peachy13peachy13 member
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    edited June 2014
    Worth a thought, plus what is one more bridesmaid anyway. 
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