Appropriate Amount to Spend on BM's Gifts?

Sammyantha13 · April 2014

Is there any general rule as to how much you should spend on BM's gifts? Based on your overall wedding budget or something?

When I was MOH for my best friend two summers ago, she gave us each the same necklace to wear for the wedding, AND she paid for us all to get manis and pedis. So I'm guessing she spent about $100 on each BM. I have not worn the necklace since her wedding.

I'm not a big jewelry person...I tend to have my favorite pieces and stick with those. I told the BMs they could wear whatever jewelry and shoes they liked. So I'm thinking about getting them each a pullover sweater monogrammed with their initials. (I know a lot of you don't like the monogrammed items, but I know my BMs and know it's something they'd all like.) I also plan to get them each one of those hangers with their names to hang their dresses on. After the wedding I will send them each a framed photo of the two of us, with a thank you note. So I think I'm looking at about $50-$60 each. I might also make some little 'bridesmaid kits' for the day of the wedding with lotions and mints and little bottles of wine, not sure yet though.

Or should I just scrap that idea and take them for manis/pedis? I know some of them don't really care about getting their nails professionally done. In my opinion it means more to have a keepsake (the pullovers) that they can always use. Thoughts?

KeptInStitches · April 2014

Would you get them the pullovers and hangers for their birthdays or Christmas? The picture and note are a lovely gift, but depending on your BMs, the others might not be good gifts. I think it means more to get them a gift they would really appreciate, something that would be personally meaningful, than to make the gifts all match. Try to get close in dollar value, but personalize to their tastes.

buddysmom80 · April 2014

We're budgeting $100 per wedding party member and shopping like it's their birthday or holiday. Nothing personalized or anything because some people don't like that stuff.

MairePoppy · April 2014

Sammyantha13 said:

Is there any general rule as to how much you should spend on BM's gifts? Based on your overall wedding budget or something? There's no set amount of money that you should spend. It should be based on your own budget. One thing to consider - if you're bms are shelling out for expensive designer dresses, parties, travel expenses and you're wearing a $10,000 wedding dress, a $10 gift card to Starbucks is going to look like you're not very thankful.

When I was MOH for my best friend two summers ago, she gave us each the same necklace to wear for the wedding, AND she paid for us all to get manis and pedis. So I'm guessing she spent about $100 on each BM. I have not worn the necklace since her wedding. Those were things the bride really bought for herself. This is why we tell brides to shop like they're shopping for birthday presents. It's not very thoughtful to buy something that the person won't use again.

I'm not a big jewelry person...I tend to have my favorite pieces and stick with those. I told the BMs they could wear whatever jewelry and shoes they liked. So I'm thinking about getting them each a pullover sweater monogrammed with their initials. (I know a lot of you don't like the monogrammed items, but I know my BMs and know it's something they'd all like.) I don't know any adult women who like to dress in matching outfits with their friends, except for the time I was in a bowling league. Come to think of it, I didn't want to wear the stupid matching shirt, it was required. If you think your friends like monogrammed sweaters, don't make them all matchy matchy. Choose styles and colors for each girl.
I also plan to get them each one of those hangers with their names to hang their dresses on. If you want the hangers for a photo op, go for it. This isn't a gift for your bms, though. I think it's a waste of money.

After the wedding I will send them each a framed photo of the two of us, with a thank you note. Very nice idea.

So I think I'm looking at about $50-$60 each. I might also make some little 'bridesmaid kits' for the day of the wedding with lotions and mints and little bottles of wine, not sure yet though. Skip this. Make up one basket of emergency items - tylenol, needle and threads, lotion, bottles of water etc...to share. You can stock your bathroom at home with the leftovers.

Or should I just scrap that idea and take them for manis/pedis? I know some of them don't really care about getting their nails professionally done. In my opinion it means more to have a keepsake (the pullovers) that they can always use. Thoughts? Mani/pedis for your wedding isn't a gift. A gift card to the spa, to be used whenever they like is a gift. I'd be thrilled with this gift, but you know some of your bms don't care about mani/pedis, so don't bother with this, either.

Sammyantha13 · April 2014

Thanks for the input!

@kimches, the hangers are $5.99 each on Etsy, and the pullovers are going to be $30-35 each, also from Etsy.

@MairePoppy, yes, I was planning on getting each lady a different color and such. We all live in different states so I'm not worried about being matchy-matchy. On the wedding morning, maybe yeah, they'll all be wearing them. But after that this group of people most likely won't all be together again. I would much rather get them their initials on a sweater that they can wear over and over rather than a "Bridesmaid" t-shirt or something. Plus, our wedding is in Ohio in October--perfect sweater weather!

I do like your idea of making just one wedding day kit, so I will do that!

MairePoppy · April 2014

See, I'm getting the feeling that you're buying the pullovers for a pre-wedding photo op. If that's true, they are props for your wedding, not really gifts for your bms, just like the hangers. If your bms were asked what they would like for their birthdays, would any of them say they would like initial sweaters? Your gifts to them should be suited to their personalities, rather than mementos of your wedding.

Sammyantha13 · April 2014

So are you saying that if I get them the sweaters I should tell them NOT to wear them the weekend of the wedding? That seems odd to me.

Four of them yes, I know that they would for sure like the sweaters and it's something that I would definitely buy them for Christmas or their birthday. The fifth one I'm not totally sure about...she's my cousin's wife but I've known her for the least amount of time out of everyone. She spends a lot of time outside--she writes children's books and the main character is her pet kangaroo. So I could get her something kangaroo-related? I don't know. I'll keep thinking. I do kind of feel like if she is the only one to not get a sweater she might feel left out. But maybe I'll think of something better for her.

csuave · April 2014

I got mine $50 gift cards to a place each would like (Coach, lingerie store, favorite restaurant) and then a little candle or other small keepsake. Each little item had the gift receipt included.

OP you may want to think about buying non monogrammed pullovers or some other gift from an actual store. Then you can include a gift receipt. I have had really bad luck with people buying me clothing gifts. If you got me a pullover I might want to exchange it for any number of reasons including needing a different size, prefer a different color, prefer a full zip to a half zip, etc. I would really appreciate the ability to exchange clothing since too many times a friend has bought me something that is too small and they had no idea. It can be depressing to get something that doesn't fit and then not be able to do anything about it.

beachyone15 · April 2014

@csuave I like the giftcard idea! My girls are all so different that I'm having a hard time choosing individual gifts (that will still look like I spent the same amount of money and put the same amount of thought into them). I think I may go with individual giftcards and a little something extra to go with them!

weddingmcgee · May 2014

I considered getting something monogrammed for my bridesmaids but if anyone isn't married but may get married in forseeable future, be aware that they might not wear it anymore. Just a thought.

I bought my bridesmaids earrings off of Etsy. They're all different because they have different tastes and styles. But I spent a lot of time finding something they would like, but also made sure they were all within a few dollars of each other and appear that way, as well.

Honestly, I get annoyed when brides ask their bridesmaids to wear something, especially if it wasn't planned and agreed upon ahead of time. Then again, I didn't even choose my bridesmaids dresses because I hate the thought of asking friends and family to buy something they will more than likely never use again. Also, consider that if you can't wear pullovers if you're getting hair and make up done.

MairePoppy · May 2014

Sammyantha13 said:

So are you saying that if I get them the sweaters I should tell them NOT to wear them the weekend of the wedding? That seems odd to me.

No, I didn't say that anywhere in my posts.

singinchick13 · May 2014

I am budgeting $150 for each girl, but may go over. I'm compiling a package for each girl that will include things tailored to their tastes. In each there will be an item of jewelry (some the same, some different, not intended for wedding), a bottle of alcohol (wine for wine-lovers, pre-mixed cocktails for girly-drink lovers, tequila for party animals, etc.), and a few other things. I will probably include an item of clothing, gift card, fun coffee/travel mug/glass or water bottle, nice smelling candles, etc. I'm on the fence about doing anything monogrammed, but if I did it would probably be a robe with each girl's first initial in a colour she would love and could wear often. I love giving robes as gifts personally. I gave a friend a cheetah-print robe for christmas last year with matching slippers and she LOVED them.

Appropriate Amount to Spend on BM's Gifts?

Re: Appropriate Amount to Spend on BM's Gifts?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards