Money Troubles

Re: Money Troubles

• pinkshorts27 member

  

  April 2014

  carmondy said:

  So my mom and dad told my fiance and I that they were going to cover the cost of half the venue and food. Which was a very generous offer! But now, just 32 days before our wedding, and my mom says they need help covering the food (which is understandable, my dad is the only one working). So I tell my SO and he FREAKS OUT. I mean, telling me he hates my parents and how he doesn't even want to get married any more. That he finally had enough to buy himself a truck, and how I always manage to find a way to take his money. So, just to clarify, I have spent almost 3 times what he has on this wedding, and he has helped with NONE of the planning. I just don't know what to do! All I needed was $150 from him...I love him so much, but him making me feel bad is just not worth it with all the stress I'm under. Help? Anyone?

  Um. I'm seeing some red flags with your SO. Seriously, that is how he handles unexpected costs and surprises? Not someone I'd want being my partner in life.  And then throwing the I don't want to marry you anymore just because you disagree? Seriously? Fuck that. When you get married and disagree is he going to say "I didn't even want to marry you" or "I don't even want children anymore" or "I want a divorce"? 

  
  

  
  

  Normally we tell couples to not expect money before it is in their hands. It can always be taken back. But I think you have bigger problems.

  
  

  Did you do premarital counseling? 

  
  

  Is he always like this in fights? Why aren't you leaning on each other? I would be concerned about your relationship, especially if that is a pattern. And maybe I'm judgmental or harsh, but that sounds completely high school and I couldn't date someone so immature. 

  
  

  

  
  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  April 2014

  Please tell me this is MUD.
  
  Otherwise, call off the engagement. Neither of you is ready to get married.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• artbyallie mod

  

  April 2014

  Yeah, no. If you're getting married, it's OUR money now, not his money and my money. Do not marry this man-child.

  

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• StefA8 member

  

  April 2014

  carmondy said:

  So my mom and dad told my fiance and I that they were going to cover the cost of half the venue and food. Which was a very generous offer! But now, just 32 days before our wedding, and my mom says they need help covering the food (which is understandable, my dad is the only one working). So I tell my SO and he FREAKS OUT. I mean, telling me he hates my parents and how he doesn't even want to get married any more. That he finally had enough to buy himself a truck, and how I always manage to find a way to take his money. So, just to clarify, I have spent almost 3 times what he has on this wedding, and he has helped with NONE of the planning. I just don't know what to do! All I needed was $150 from him...I love him so much, but him making me feel bad is just not worth it with all the stress I'm under. Help? Anyone?

  Carmondy, these are some pretty scary things coming out of your fiance's mouth. As previous posters have said, if this is how he is acting/reacting now to financial issues, I would be very concerned about the future. If you haven't gone through premarital counseling I would seriously consider it before you ever attempt to walk down that aisle. Also, not to get personal - but more to make you think about it - have the two of you sat down to write out a budget together that INCLUDES BOTH incomes? If you haven't and he flips out over the idea of doing this - seriously, run. And don't look back. He's either, as mentioned previously - an oversized man-child, as much as I don't want to freak you out - he may have something going on on the side that he's hiding from you, or maybe he's having some serious doubts/concerns about getting married. Whatever the reason, the two of you definitely need to sit down to try to sort this issue out. Best of luck to you, and keep your head up!
  

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• AzAnnie member

  

  April 2014

  Please do not marry this man until you talk to a counselor. My ex husband was this way and all I heard during my 9 year marriage was how I broke him and he was never able to buy anything he wants. I learned after my divorce that there are several types of abuse and financial abuse is one of them. Please, please , please go talk to a professional.

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• emmyg65 member

  

  April 2014

  DTMFA

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• zitiqueen member

  

  April 2014

  Get pregnant. Babies fix everything.

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• thejucheidea member

  

  April 2014

  carmondy said:

  So I tell my SO and he FREAKS OUT. I mean, telling me he hates my parents and how he doesn't even want to get married any more. That he finally had enough to buy himself a truck, and how I always manage to find a way to take his money. So, just to clarify, I have spent almost 3 times what he has on this wedding, and he has helped with NONE of the planning.

  
  

  
  

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• shaylagirl member

  

  April 2014

  Wow, he wants to end everything over $150?  That's pretty much the price-tag he's putting on your relationship; $150. 
  
  I'm with @emmyg65; DTMFA. 
  
  I also agree with all the other posters as well, but emmy summed it up beautifully.
  

  
  
  

  
  

  
  

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