Wedding Etiquette Forum

XP: Rehearsal/Dinner Invites

tcnobletcnoble member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
edited September 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We are stuck here. I know RD invites are not necessary but since we have so many OOT guests in our bridal party we would like to make sure they can plan accordingly.I found some invites on Zazzle that include both rehearsal and dinner. First major obstacle passed. Yay.

We are providing transportation from our venue to the RD and want to indicate that on the invite. My FFIL also has planned an evening after the dinner (we live in Vegas - he wants to rent a party bus and take everyone down the strip and stop at a few places). While I appreciate this gesture, I have insisted we provide an RSVP for Dinner and the Post-Dinner activities, so that people are not essentially "stuck" with us because they elected to use our transportation to dinner... and because quite frankly some people just may not be interested and I don't want them to feel obligated.

What would be the best way to word this invitation?? I tried this but don't think I like the way it sounds..

Transportation will be provided from XXX to XX. Following dinner, we will make our way down to the Las Vegas Strip for some pre-wedding fun! When RSVP-ing please indicate if you will utilize the transportation and if you will be joining us for the post-dinner activities. 

Also his parents are hosting but does his father HAVE to receive the RSVPs? Is it considered a faux pas to have myself listed as the RSVP contact? I'm very Type A and organized so I wouldn't mind taking on another set of RSVPs but not sure if this is "allowed".

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Re: XP: Rehearsal/Dinner Invites

  • That sounds like a fun rehearsal dinner and I hope most people will stay for the entire time!  You should have RSVP boxes as follows:
    -Will be attending dinner, Regretfully declines (insert name of activity)- no transportation needed
    -Will be attending dinner and (insert name of activity here)- Transportation is provided
    -Regretfully Declines dinner and (insert name of activity here)


    To me this is simple and clear cut.  If people would like to use their own transportation for everything let them but you do not need to include that on the RSVP.

    You Should have all RSVP's go to the person who is hosting.  You can of course help him sort through the RSVP's and put everything together but they should be sent to the host.
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  • @bananasplit472001 THANK YOU!! 

    The RSVP thing - I'm only hung up on that because my FFIL doesn't necessarily agree with me that we should offer a decline option on the post-dinner activities. But suppose if my FI and I create the invites FFIL will just receive them and we can go through the RSVPs from there.

    I'm finding on a lot of the invitation templates for RD they don't offer an RSVP card - just "RSVP to xxxx" with a phone number. Should we create our own RSVP card to include? I'm thinking the RSVP card could have the following..

    Transportation will be provided from XXX to XX. Following dinner, we will make our way down to the Las Vegas Strip for some pre-wedding fun!
    ___ Will be attending dinner, Regretfully declines (insert name of activity)- no transportation needed
    ___ Will be attending dinner and (insert name of activity here)- Transportation is provided
    ___Regretfully Declines dinner and (insert name of activity here)



    Look ok?
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  • tcnoble said:
    @bananasplit472001 THANK YOU!! 

    The RSVP thing - I'm only hung up on that because my FFIL doesn't necessarily agree with me that we should offer a decline option on the post-dinner activities. But suppose if my FI and I create the invites FFIL will just receive them and we can go through the RSVPs from there.

    I'm finding on a lot of the invitation templates for RD they don't offer an RSVP card - just "RSVP to xxxx" with a phone number. Should we create our own RSVP card to include? I'm thinking the RSVP card could have the following..

    Transportation will be provided from XXX to XX. Following dinner, we will make our way down to the Las Vegas Strip for some pre-wedding fun!
    ___ Will be attending dinner, Regretfully declines (insert name of activity)- no transportation needed
    ___ Will be attending dinner and (insert name of activity here)- Transportation is provided
    ___Regretfully Declines dinner and (insert name of activity here)



    Look ok?
    I think you should create your own RSVP cards.  I think that looks good to me and I would understand it if I were to receive something like that.  I would check with maybe some family and friends to see if they agree.
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  • lc07lc07 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What about an option for people who want to tag along afterwards but don't want to be stuck on the party bus all night? My H and I would probably join you on the first stop or two and then head back to our hotel room. We'd provide our own transportation and just meet you at XYZ spot if possible.
  • It may be they want to go to the strip but want to take their own car. I'd just let them RSVP yes are no to dinner and then ask something along the lines: "Would you like to use the transportation provided?" "Will you be joining us for after dinner fun?" Then you'd capture those that will come afterward and those that want to take provided transport vs. using their own vehicle.
  • tcnobletcnoble member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    So maybe options like this

    __ Will attend dinner
    __ Will attend dinner & after dinner activities with provided transportation
    __ Will attend dinner & after dinner activities with own transportation
    __ Regretfully declines dinner and activities

    I just feel like that gets to be so many options!! My FFIL means well but I don't think he understands that not everyone will actually love his idea and I don't want people to feel sucked in to going so I really want to find a way to give people options. Hmph.
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  • Bumping this back up as we get further in to planning and I've yet to come to a decision on RSVP options. Any help appreciated!!
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