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Really?

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence, 
I’m fortunate enough to be marrying a smart, funny man in a few weeks. My problem is that when he proposed he was very proud that he managed to surprise me. It was a romantic moment that couldn’t have been better, except that I knew it was coming. I had my suspicions leading up to the proposal, then when I was looking for my phone chargers I accidentally found the ring box (I didn’t open it). He thinks his subterfuge is particularly impressive because my profession involves investigation, research, and being more observant than your average person. So he likes to tease me about the proposal and brag to friends. Only three people know that I knew beforehand and none of them would tell him, so I’m certain I can keep this a secret. But should I come clean and tell him that I knew it was coming?

—(Dis)Honest Bride

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Re: Really?

  • baconsmombaconsmom member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I'd come clean, only because I fight dirty. (Which is why I usually leave and come back when I've calmed down. I don't actually do this IRL, but I have in the past.) He'd get me all riled and the first thing out of my mouth would be, "Oh, yeah? Well that proposal wasn't a surprise!" 

    Better to do it quietly, when you're both feeling friendly, than have it pop out when you're going to hurt him. 
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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think secrets ae hard to keep...and this might be a cute fobile now, but if it,like bmom says, comes out in anger in 10 years, it'll sting more.

    I'd make "oh, I guessed" a lighthearted thing.
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    I told him like a few hours afterwards that I thought something would happen prior to our engagement (I didn't pick the ring though). I don't really get why it's such a big deal whether he surprises you or not... I still reacted the same way: tearing up and whatnot

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  • goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I found my ring and didn't open it, just like that scenario above.  When he proposed, I just cheekily admitted that I see the box a little while ago ("but I didn't peek!  I was a good girl!  I swear!").  The more time that goes by would definitely make it hurt more.  I hope this person doesn't choose to start their lives with a lie.
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  • NOLABridesmaidNOLABridesmaid member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I don't know about this one. I can picture his poor face when she breaks the news. You know he can never surprise her and the one time he thinks he's pulled it off. Not.

    I might let him have this one and take it to the grave.

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  • NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    I kept the secret. I accidentally found the ring box in his bag while searching for excedrin. We were on a trip. I never told him, and don't plan to. It would only disappoint him.
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