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Wedding Woes

We can't agree on anything!

My fiancé and I have been engaged since September and have everything booked and ready for our July wedding. In the beginning, I just wanted to elope, mostly because we had just spent a lot of money buying a house, and I have some social anxiety and didn't like the idea of a big party just for me. We compromised and decided to do a private ceremony just for parents & grandparents (10 people total) and then a big reception the next day for a little over 100 people. It's been the perfect plan to keep me from getting anxious and give him a big social event. Now, we've been fighting every day because he feels like if we're going to have 10 people, we might as well invite the other 100 to the ceremony. That's so crazy to me and I can't understand. He is a lot closer to his family than I am to mine, but is it really so awful of me to want an intimate ceremony? Or will aunts, uncles, etc.. get that upset that they didn't get to see the ceremony?

Re: We can't agree on anything!

  • It's rude to have a reception for people who were not invited to the ceremony. You either invite everyone, or don't have the 2nd one.
    Yes it is scary to get up in front of people, but they are people who love you and are there to support you!
    Your FI is right, they should all be invited to the reception!
  • Becca0929 said:

    My fiancé and I have been engaged since September and have everything booked and ready for our July wedding. In the beginning, I just wanted to elope, mostly because we had just spent a lot of money buying a house, and I have some social anxiety and didn't like the idea of a big party just for me. We compromised and decided to do a private ceremony just for parents & grandparents (10 people total) and then a big reception the next day for a little over 100 people. It's been the perfect plan to keep me from getting anxious and give him a big social event. Now, we've been fighting every day because he feels like if we're going to have 10 people, we might as well invite the other 100 to the ceremony. That's so crazy to me and I can't understand. He is a lot closer to his family than I am to mine, but is it really so awful of me to want an intimate ceremony? Or will aunts, uncles, etc.. get that upset that they didn't get to see the ceremony?

    I've never understood the idea behind private ceremonies and large receptions, but that's neither here nor there.

    Marriage is about compromise and you two need to get on the same page. Whatever that page is.
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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