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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Maiden to middle name in New York (not the city)

My FH and I are both planning to take my maiden name as a second middle name and then I'll be taking his last name (we'll be passing my maiden name down to our children as second middle names as well). Does anyone know how the adding of a second middle name process works in New York (not the city)? How long does the process take? Are any of you doing this as well?

We already got our marriage license but we made this decision after, so our license doesn't reflect this change we'll be making.

Re: Maiden to middle name in New York (not the city)

  • I'm in PA, so I don't know about NY laws. In PA, after we got our notarised copy of the marriage licence, I took it down the the SSA and had my SS card re-issued in my new name -- HisGirl Maiden DHSurname. I dropped my birth middle name entirely and moved my maiden to my middle.

    For men to change their names, it often requires a court order, which can take a while. I found this link: 
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • I got married in New York, not the City.  When we did our marriage license with the City Clerk in the county where we were married, we both had to indicate what name we would go by following the marriage.  I was moving my maiden name to my middle name and dropping my original maiden name so I recorded that on our license.  I then showed the marriage certificate we got from the state with the name change to get my new social security card, change bank and work info, etc.

    That's a long way of saying that in NY, to the best of my understanding, the name you both declare on your license, and that is "transferred" to your marriage certificate,  is legal name you will be able to use post-marriage.  At this point, I think your options are to either use your maiden name as middle name socially only, letting your legal documents reflect the name in your paperwork or to contact the clerk who issued your license to see if there is a process by which you can amend it, or if you must file for a new license.
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  • Why can't men change their name with just a marriage license like women can? Why do they need to go to court? Isn't it 2014? SMH

    Sorry I don't have more to offer... that just ground my gears a bit ;)
    My reaction to most everything on the internet today:
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  • Why can't men change their name with just a marriage license like women can? Why do they need to go to court? Isn't it 2014? SMH

    Sorry I don't have more to offer... that just ground my gears a bit ;)

    Because sexism :/
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  • @ ladyamanuet
    Why can't men change their name with just a marriage license like women can? Why do they need to go to court? Isn't it 2014? SMH

    Sorry I don't have more to offer... that just ground my gears a bit ;)

    **SITB**
    It's not totally universal that only women can change their names.  In New York, either party can: both members of the couple can choose to take the last name of either of the people in the marriage (his or hers, his or his, hers or hers - cuz NY's cool like that), a hyphenate of both names, or a new last name made of the letters in their individual last names or something like that.  Only I changed my name when DH and I married, but he could have easily been Mr. Jaclyne or one or both of us could have been the Jaclyne-Grooms/Groom-Jaclynes or anything we could make this those letters.

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