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My first In-Laws vent

sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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in Snarky Brides

As demonstrated on the etiquette deal breaker thread, thank you notes are apparantely very hard for some people. FI and I have now sent two gifts to FBIL and FSIL for their new baby (he will be a year in September). They live out of state, so I am always extra careful to get a tracking number on the packages.

Each time, the package shows delivered with no word from FSIL and FBIL for about a week (I like to give them the benefit of the doubt that the thank you card is in the mail). We literally have to call them to confirm that they got the package only to be responded to with "oh yeah it came last week. Thanks!" Listen, I get that they had a new baby and that this is a busy time in their lives, but come on, people! Is it that hard to even send a quick text letting someone know that their out of state package was received? Apparently it is...Thanks for listening. I feel better now.

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Re: My first In-Laws vent

  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 member
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    I was pretty affronted that I attended an 10 AM baby shower on a Saturday a few months ago for my second cousin, and never got a ty note.....and I know her mother raised her better...wtf is with people. Heck I even write thank you notes for interviews...
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    @smlfrie19-Same here!I send a thank you note for almost everything! I just don't get it.
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  • Marzipan13Marzipan13 member
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    Yeah, this stuff bothers me.  How hard is it to write a thank-you?  (Then again, I might be biased... I love writing thank-you notes, letters, memos... it's zen to me...)
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  • jaygeejayjaygeejay member
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    I was in a wedding a few years ago and the bride and groom waited a full year to send out thank you notes. When they did it was a typed note about how the first year of marriage had went. It did name a few people specifically that they were thankful for (parents, and those who helped with the wedding) As a bridesmaids I was not mentioned specifically. There was no mention of the individual gifts that my fiance and I sent either. It was just a generic letter for everyone to receive. I thought it was odd and not very personal but at least thank you notes were sent.
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    sjlammert said:
    I was in a wedding a few years ago and the bride and groom waited a full year to send out thank you notes. When they did it was a typed note about how the first year of marriage had went. It did name a few people specifically that they were thankful for (parents, and those who helped with the wedding) As a bridesmaids I was not mentioned specifically. There was no mention of the individual gifts that my fiance and I sent either. It was just a generic letter for everyone to receive. I thought it was odd and not very personal but at least thank you notes were sent.

    Seriously? I would not have counted this as a thank you note. And a year later? Seems lazy to me.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    SaraBrideSoon said:

    As demonstrated on the etiquette deal breaker thread, thank you notes are apparantely very hard for some people. FI and I have now sent two gifts to FBIL and FSIL for their new baby (he will be a year in September). They live out of state, so I am always extra careful to get a tracking number on the packages.

    Each time, the package shows delivered with no word from FSIL and FBIL for about a week (I like to give them the benefit of the doubt that the thank you card is in the mail). We literally have to call them to confirm that they got the package only to be responded to with "oh yeah it came last week. Thanks!" Listen, I get that they had a new baby and that this is a busy time in their lives, but come on, people! Is it that hard to even send a quick text letting someone know that their out of state package was received? Apparently it is...Thanks for listening. I feel better now.

    You're nicer than I am. I wouldn't have sent a second package after the first one went un-acknowledged and un-thanked. You get one gift chance from me. After that, if I don't get a thank-you note, you don't get another gift.

    Which, btw, means I have gone empty-handed to weddings when I didn't get a thank-you note for the shower gift.
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  • jaygeejayjaygeejay member
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    edited May 2014
    SaraBrideSoon said:
    sjlammert said:
    I was in a wedding a few years ago and the bride and groom waited a full year to send out thank you notes. When they did it was a typed note about how the first year of marriage had went. It did name a few people specifically that they were thankful for (parents, and those who helped with the wedding) As a bridesmaids I was not mentioned specifically. There was no mention of the individual gifts that my fiance and I sent either. It was just a generic letter for everyone to receive. I thought it was odd and not very personal but at least thank you notes were sent.

    Seriously? I would not have counted this as a thank you note. And a year later? Seems lazy to me.
    Yes, I agree. She said something about technically you have a year to write the thank you notes. I'm not sure where that idea came from. I usually feel bad if I don't have a thank you note sent within a couple weeks.
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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
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    HisGirlFriday13 said:
    SaraBrideSoon said:

    As demonstrated on the etiquette deal breaker thread, thank you notes are apparantely very hard for some people. FI and I have now sent two gifts to FBIL and FSIL for their new baby (he will be a year in September). They live out of state, so I am always extra careful to get a tracking number on the packages.

    Each time, the package shows delivered with no word from FSIL and FBIL for about a week (I like to give them the benefit of the doubt that the thank you card is in the mail). We literally have to call them to confirm that they got the package only to be responded to with "oh yeah it came last week. Thanks!" Listen, I get that they had a new baby and that this is a busy time in their lives, but come on, people! Is it that hard to even send a quick text letting someone know that their out of state package was received? Apparently it is...Thanks for listening. I feel better now.

    You're nicer than I am. I wouldn't have sent a second package after the first one went un-acknowledged and un-thanked. You get one gift chance from me. After that, if I don't get a thank-you note, you don't get another gift.

    Which, btw, means I have gone empty-handed to weddings when I didn't get a thank-you note for the shower gift.

    Yeah I am definitely done. It is unfortunate, because we love sending gifts to other FBIL and FSIL's baby. We get a thank you note and call every single time.
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  • CrazyCatLady3CrazyCatLady3 member
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    sjlammert said:
    SaraBrideSoon said:
    sjlammert said:
    I was in a wedding a few years ago and the bride and groom waited a full year to send out thank you notes. When they did it was a typed note about how the first year of marriage had went. It did name a few people specifically that they were thankful for (parents, and those who helped with the wedding) As a bridesmaids I was not mentioned specifically. There was no mention of the individual gifts that my fiance and I sent either. It was just a generic letter for everyone to receive. I thought it was odd and not very personal but at least thank you notes were sent.

    Seriously? I would not have counted this as a thank you note. And a year later? Seems lazy to me.
    Yes, I agree. She said something about technically you have a year to write the thank you notes. I'm not sure where that idea came from. I usually feel bad if I don't have a thank you note sent within a couple weeks.
    She is wrong, but she may have gotten the idea from the guideline that you have up to a year after a wedding to send a gift?
    I had my shower last Saturday and got all my TY notes in the mail by yesterday.
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  • AzAnnieAzAnnie member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    This the reason my niece and nephew only get cards for their birthdays. They never call to acknowledge receipt of the gift! I never give anything for the "thank you", but when shipping out of state it is nice to know the gift was received.
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  • pinkshorts27pinkshorts27 member
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    I'll admit, when I'm busy sometimes it can take me a week to get thank-yous in the mail :( But I always take a moment to call and thank someone if they weren't there when I received it. The exception being my parents. They don't like to talk on the phone, so I text them pictures of said gift and follow up with a thank you. 

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  • Bubblegum5586Bubblegum5586 member
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    My sister's graduation party is in a few weeks that I am helping her do the invites for and some of the planning with my mom. I already told her how it will not be acceptable to not send thank you cards. Hopefully I wont have to say it again!
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  • jenna8984jenna8984 member
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    They sound like my brother and his wife. They are just total flakes and unappreciative of anything. Never got a thank you for her bridal shower or baby shower which were 4 months apart.

    My grandparents arranged to meet at my house on like Dec. 10th (or whatever day) to exchange Christmas gifts and see my brother's children. This had been planned before Thanksgiving and I reminded them frequently. Grandparents show up, sit around for 45 minutes, say I should call brother and find out the delay. Brother says "Yea, screw that, I'm not coming. My friends wanted to play basketball" I'm like WHAT. You are 30 years old and they drove 2 hours to see your children and bring them gifts and you're not coming because you want to play f-ing basketball with other 30 year olds that you see weekly?!?!?!?! My grandparents were devastated and left the childrens' gifts at my house. I gave them to brother. A few weeks later my grandma asked if they had received the gifts because she never got a call or thank you or anything. I felt so bad and ashamed of my brother and his wife.

                                                                     

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  • KGold80KGold80 member
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    jenna8984 said:

    They sound like my brother and his wife. They are just total flakes and unappreciative of anything. Never got a thank you for her bridal shower or baby shower which were 4 months apart.

    My grandparents arranged to meet at my house on like Dec. 10th (or whatever day) to exchange Christmas gifts and see my brother's children. This had been planned before Thanksgiving and I reminded them frequently. Grandparents show up, sit around for 45 minutes, say I should call brother and find out the delay. Brother says "Yea, screw that, I'm not coming. My friends wanted to play basketball" I'm like WHAT. You are 30 years old and they drove 2 hours to see your children and bring them gifts and you're not coming because you want to play f-ing basketball with other 30 year olds that you see weekly?!?!?!?! My grandparents were devastated and left the childrens' gifts at my house. I gave them to brother. A few weeks later my grandma asked if they had received the gifts because she never got a call or thank you or anything. I felt so bad and ashamed of my brother and his wife.

    My brother and his wife are the same way. I stopped sending them things because they NEVER acknowledge receipt of gifts or say thank you or anything. They almost always skip out on family stuff. :(
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
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    edited May 2014
    Yeah no.  You have a year to send a wedding GIFT to a couple.  You need to send thank you notes IMMEDIATELY if you are the couple.  People are so fucking dumb.

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    The last three weddings for people I knew: one I attending, two I was unable to attend.  I gave cash gift for each of them.  Never received any thank you cards.

    I actually spent last night hand making my thank you cards in preparation of my bridal shower next week. I hand made all my wedding invites, so I figured that it would look best to make the TY cards also, although I'm not doing anything complicated with them. I made enough to ensure that I have plenty for shower and wedding. As well as for vendors.  And will probably have leftovers after wedding for other uses (I avoided making them wedding themed, so they will be fine to use for non-wedding things later). But, I can easily make more if needed... or run out to the store and buy a cheap box set of thank you cards. And they are blank inside, so they will all get a nice handwritten, personal message.

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    edited May 2014
    jenna8984 said:

    They sound like my brother and his wife. They are just total flakes and unappreciative of anything. Never got a thank you for her bridal shower or baby shower which were 4 months apart.

    My grandparents arranged to meet at my house on like Dec. 10th (or whatever day) to exchange Christmas gifts and see my brother's children. This had been planned before Thanksgiving and I reminded them frequently. Grandparents show up, sit around for 45 minutes, say I should call brother and find out the delay. Brother says "Yea, screw that, I'm not coming. My friends wanted to play basketball" I'm like WHAT. You are 30 years old and they drove 2 hours to see your children and bring them gifts and you're not coming because you want to play f-ing basketball with other 30 year olds that you see weekly?!?!?!?! My grandparents were devastated and left the childrens' gifts at my house. I gave them to brother. A few weeks later my grandma asked if they had received the gifts because she never got a call or thank you or anything. I felt so bad and ashamed of my brother and his wife.

    Wow, that's really rude. You're 30 years old and have children and flake on seeing your grandparents who brought gifts for your children? If that were my grandfather, he would never get another present again, and would give you a stern talking to. 
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  • buttercup1958buttercup1958
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    sorry to hi-jack but I really need to know. I graduated from hs several years ago and my moms sisters flew in to see me graduate and have a week to hang out with my mom. They all gave me wonderful gifts and I thanked them and hug all of them. I was/am extremely grateful that they did that for me. I never sent thank you notes though. I really hope my aunts haven't thought I'm a brat for the past several years now.. Can I plead teenage ignorance for not realizing this was rude?
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
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    buttercup1958 said:
    sorry to hi-jack but I really need to know. I graduated from hs several years ago and my moms sisters flew in to see me graduate and have a week to hang out with my mom. They all gave me wonderful gifts and I thanked them and hug all of them. I was/am extremely grateful that they did that for me. I never sent thank you notes though. I really hope my aunts haven't thought I'm a brat for the past several years now.. Can I plead teenage ignorance for not realizing this was rude?
    In my family we don't do thank you notes for birthdays and Christmas presents if you thanked the giver in person. However, graduation gifts, shower gifts, wedding gifts, and any gifts shipped to your house deserve a thank you note.
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  • melbensomelbenso member
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    I am not usually a writer of letters or cards.  But for every wedding gift we have received thus far, I have sent a thank you note the day it was received (that way, there is no way I can forget).  It's really not that hard.
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  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
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    I'm so glad for this thread.

    I attended a coworkers wedding last year and got them (what I thought) was a really cool gift. I was so excited to give it and I was hoping to hear about how they enjoyed it. The wedding was early October and I see this person DAILY. Not only have I not received a thank you card, but I didn't event get a verbal acknowledgement. I'm still mad about it.
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