As background, I'm currently a PhD student in the UK, and my partner is a PhD student in the US. We're both US citizens, and we're already aware of visas and other fun stuff we would need if we got married while I was in the UK. Just to get all that out of the way -- we are at the very beginning of planning.
Basically, our wedding is probably going to be somewhere between very small (under 10) or just a straight-up elopement. Part of the reason for this is because the partner has a large, Southern family where fifth cousins expect invitations. I'm NY area raised, and my side is decidedly less....family-oriented after the first cousins. The two of us are also huge introverts, and after seeing the drama-rific fustercluck his brother's wedding was (and that was still under 50 people!!), elopement sounds marvelous. We currently don't have a big budget either -- as above, students. We're not having a shower or reception, as we don't have anywhere to put items one would normally receive while setting up house. The only thing we would have would be dinner and brunch for us (and for our petite sub-10-person-party, if we have any one else).
At some point, I will be moving back to the States and we'll live together. He's super traditional, and he refuses to cohabitate before the wedding; this is why the wedding has to happen as soon as or before I move back. I've told him I'm fine with 'living in sin' as an Anglican-who-was-raised-Catholic, but he's not as a born-and-raised-Church of Christ person -- even if he's moving away from the organized religion itself, the priorities remain the same. So here's my concern:
Once we have the money, we would like to have a wedding reception for our mutual friends - not family, not strangers to either one of us. This may not occur for over a year after we get back; at least one of us needs a job in order to accommodate our guests. We would probably be wearing our wedding clothes -- nice suit for him, a vintage white lace cocktail dress for me -- because, in part, budget, but also, we want to wear those clothes as a yearly anniversary gig rather than just once in a life time. (Essentially, our plan in buying our wedding clothes is that we want to wear our wedding clothes and go out every year on a big date for our anniversary. Might sound hokey, but we like it. Gives us incentive not get fat as well as old together!)
We would not be claiming that we weren't already married. There would not be a ceremony. We would probably have a registry because it would be our shower/reception/housewarming all-in-one. We would probably have a fun cake or cupcakes - probably not a super traditional 5 tier white monstrosity. Again the reason for the delay is that at least one of us needs a job to do this right for the guests, plus we would actually have a house/apartment to put these gifts in at that point; we're currently in two apartments under 700 ft sq and separated by an ocean, ha.
So again, I'm not sure if this is a PPD or not. I know a lot of problems would be solved if he was ok with us living together before we got married -- we'd just wait another few years for when we could afford doing everything at once -- but that's a non-negotiable for him, and I respect that.