I am starting to get the feeling that my mother is trying to sabotage my wedding but I need an outside perspective.
A little back story: my relationship with my family has been strained since I moved in with my fiance (then bf) two years ago. They are pretty conservative and were against us living together. Leading up to the engagement, my mother told me I was pushing and pressuring him for a ring, because I had been the one to bring up marriage (again she's conservative and a "rules" kind of woman). She told me I would never know for sure if he really wanted to get married or if I pushed him into it.
When we did get engaged I was worried about telling her at first but she was surprisingly happy for us and immediately offered to throw the wedding for us. I was so happy and pleased that for the first time in a long time, our relationship seemed less strained.
Fast forward 6 months, I haven't been able to get her to set a budget, discuss guest lists, priorities, or even attend a venue visit. I went on a few on my own but was met with push back on why those venues won't work and also told she didn't have the funds to put a deposit down. Every time I try to bring up the wedding, she makes me feel guilty that she is so busy planning my grandmother's funeral (she passed 10 months ago) and then I feel terrible.
However, after being engaged for 6 months without planning a single aspect of the wedding I am feeling like maybe this just isn't a priority for her and perhaps we should consider taking back the reins and respectfully declining her offer to host. I want the planning of my wedding to be happy, joyous, and about me and my fiance's love and commit to each other, not about pulling teeth and battling with my mom.
I don't have any other really close females in my life to discuss this kind of thing with and I know all the TK ladies have smart heads on their shoulders - am I being impatient and inconsiderate?