Blood has to be in wedding?

Re: Blood has to be in wedding?

• sarahonlife member

  

  May 2014

  Oh thank goodness, I thought this was going to be some really dark post about a crazy blood mingling ceremony as part of a wedding.  But no, you're never required to have anyone in your bridal party.  The marriage will be entirely valid whether your sister stands up with you or not.
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  May 2014

  No, you're not required to put all of your siblings/family members in your wedding. My brother is not in my wedding. You're totally fine just having her do a reading if that's what you want. 

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  May 2014

  Accidental genetic relationship means nothing vis a vis weddings; it doesn't guarantee an invite, let alone a role in the wedding.
  
  You're fine asking your sister to do a reading and not be a BM.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Lauderdale Pink member

  

  May 2014

  You don't have to have anyone in your bridal party, but I don't see what the big deal really is.  The only thing BMs have to do is buy the dress and show up, hopefully sober.  You could take the high road, in the name of family peace, and invite your sister to be a BM.  If she declines, that is her decision.  If she is a difficult type of person, who is going to be a problem during dress selection, then pick your BM dress and let her know after the fact. Again, she can still decline.  It just seems to me, that by not offering her the opportunity to stand up with you, you might be starting out on the wrong foot.
  

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• Fran1985 member

  

  May 2014

  Thought this post was going to be some game of thrones shit.

  
  
  

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• manateehugger member

  

  May 2014

  Not required. Though it might be nice to ask her to do a reading or get her flowers. 

  
  

  My brother and FI's sister are not in the wedding party, but they are doing readings. 

  

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• phira member

  

  May 2014

  Blood only has to be in the wedding if you want to compete with other TV high fantasy dramas.

  
  For serious though, you're fine. You don't have to ask your oldest sister to be in the wedding at all. Your attendants should be the people you want to be standing up with you, people you're close to and who are there for you. My partner's attendants are his two brothers; mine are my two best friends.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  May 2014

  Jsparrow10 said:

  I know this decision is up to me but anyone who can share input would be great! I am the youngest of 4 children, my oldest sister is 13 older than I am and I am the baby of the family. She has always lived far away and at one point we were close but not really anymore. I already know my sister in law would be my MOH since we are best friends, talk everyday, helped my fiance pick out the ting even. I have read conflicting advice between family before anyone and then also you want people who are nothing but supportive of the relationship (which there was a situation where she thought I was engaged before I was and her response was "oh thank God I thought you got engaged"). I obviously don't want to hurt her but also I am not sure if she would want to be since she is older, has MS so standing in the heat at a destination wedding might not be the best situation for her. Either way I would want her to be apart of the day if she would accept like reading or something. I know I have time to decide but this is going to really bug me up until then. Thanks guys!

  Old hags with diseases need not apply?
  

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2014

  You do not have to have her as a BM, your party is for who you want next to you. 

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• KGold80 member

  

  May 2014

  Jsparrow10 said:

  I know this decision is up to me but anyone who can share input would be great! I am the youngest of 4 children, my oldest sister is 13 older than I am and I am the baby of the family. She has always lived far away and at one point we were close but not really anymore. I already know my sister in law would be my MOH since we are best friends, talk everyday, helped my fiance pick out the ting even. I have read conflicting advice between family before anyone and then also you want people who are nothing but supportive of the relationship (which there was a situation where she thought I was engaged before I was and her response was "oh thank God I thought you got engaged"). I obviously don't want to hurt her but also I am not sure if she would want to be since she is older, has MS so standing in the heat at a destination wedding might not be the best situation for her. Either way I would want her to be apart of the day if she would accept like reading or something. I know I have time to decide but this is going to really bug me up until then. Thanks guys!

  You don't HAVE to include anyone in your bridal party and as others have said, genetic relationship has no bearing here. If you're not close, fine - asking her to be a reader would still be an honor to her. However, I think your other given reasons for not wanting your sister to stand up with you are a little petty and bridezilla-ish.
  
  You're seriously going to label her as being "unsupportive of your relationship" because of a single comment? Plus, you mentioned her age and a disease as reasons for not wanting to include her? The age thing is just wrong and you COULD always ask her if her MS is an issue under the conditions you expect to have at your wedding. I really hope you haven't mentioned those reasons to anyone else.
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Jsparrow10 member

  

  May 2014

  KGold80 said:

  You don't HAVE to include anyone in your bridal party and as others have said, genetic relationship has no bearing here. If you're not close, fine - asking her to be a reader would still be an honor to her. However, I think your other given reasons for not wanting your sister to stand up with you are a little petty and bridezilla-ish. 
  

  
  You're seriously going to label her as being "unsupportive of your relationship" because of a single comment? Plus, you mentioned her age and a disease as reasons for not wanting to include her? The age thing is just wrong and you COULD always ask her if her MS is an issue under the conditions you expect to have at your wedding. I really hope you haven't mentioned those reasons to anyone else.
  

  
  

  My sister is pretty difficult and I guess I was trying to paint the picture the best I could without boring everyone with all the details of our relationship. There has been more than one comment, it was just an example of one that really stuck out to me. I have nothing against people older than me or people with MS, she is heat sensitive so that's where that comment came into play. Did not mean to come off as "petty" or as a "brideszilla" especially since I've only been engaged a little over a week. This is all a new experience for me and was simply wondering if anyone has been though something similar. Especially since this is dealt with earlier on in the planning process. 

  
  

  On a lighter note, thank you all for the insight! Also lesson learned to not name a thread something creepy, at least I got your attention haha! But seriously I was cracking up at the comments! Look forward to planning with you ladies!

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• lilacck28 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  You said you're the youngest of four children, and you mentioned your 13 years older sister. Do you have other sisters (besides sister in law/ best friend) who you plan to ask to be a bridesmaid? Because I would imagine it would be more upsetting to not be asked to be a bridesmaid if another sister will be. 

  
  

  Also, one of my closest friends was speaking hypothetically to me about who would be her bridesmaids/ maid of honor. She mentioned that her younger sister, her only sibling, (who was also speaking hypothetically) told her that she would not choose her sister (my friend) to be her maid of honor, as she doesn't consider them to be close enough. My friend was very hurt by this.  (Though, the distance in age is much smaller. I think it is a four year gap?)  

  
  

  ETA: But yes, as PP mentioned, you are not obligated to include anyone, etiquette wise. 

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2014

  lilacck28 said:

  You said you're the youngest of four children, and you mentioned your 13 years older sister. Do you have other sisters (besides sister in law/ best friend) who you plan to ask to be a bridesmaid? Because I would imagine it would be more upsetting to not be asked to be a bridesmaid if another sister will be. 

  
  

  Also, one of my closest friends was speaking hypothetically to me about who would be her bridesmaids/ maid of honor. She mentioned that her younger sister, her only sibling, (who was also speaking hypothetically) told her that she would not choose her sister (my friend) to be her maid of honor, as she doesn't consider them to be close enough. My friend was very hurt by this.  (Though, the distance in age is much smaller. I think it is a four year gap?)  

  
  

  ETA: But yes, as PP mentioned, you are not obligated to include anyone, etiquette wise. 

  But this can depend on when the conversation was had and who the guy ends up being.  Theoretically my sister and I were going to be each other's MOHs because it's only the two of us.  And if either of us had gotten married right out of high school, that might have been the case.  But we got not-as-close during college and even 'not-as-close'er when she moved across the country.  She got married last year and had no attendants at all.  But the year before, when she announced her engagement and I said I'd become legal to officiate it, she said "great, then you'd do two roles."  and I just rolled my eyes because she has tons of girlfriends closer to her than me.  i just think she would have picked me for the MOH role so as to not have to choose between her besties.  I think going with nobody worked out best for everyone.

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• Jsparrow10 member

  

  May 2014

  lilacck28 said:

  You said you're the youngest of four children, and you mentioned your 13 years older sister. Do you have other sisters (besides sister in law/ best friend) who you plan to ask to be a bridesmaid? Because I would imagine it would be more upsetting to not be asked to be a bridesmaid if another sister will be. 

  
  

  Also, one of my closest friends was speaking hypothetically to me about who would be her bridesmaids/ maid of honor. She mentioned that her younger sister, her only sibling, (who was also speaking hypothetically) told her that she would not choose her sister (my friend) to be her maid of honor, as she doesn't consider them to be close enough. My friend was very hurt by this.  (Though, the distance in age is much smaller. I think it is a four year gap?)  

  
  

  ETA: But yes, as PP mentioned, you are not obligated to include anyone, etiquette wise. 

  I have the one sister, my sister in law and then my other 2 siblings are guys

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• lilacck28 member

  

  May 2014

  I think you still certainly run the risk of hurting her feelings, but its better that you won't be having one sister in and one out. That would be more of an insult than a "oh, I'm a little sad." You know your family best though. Maybe she won't care.  Wedding party should be about who makes you happy and comfortable and confident though, so do your thing. I have two cousins that picked me to be a bridesmaid. They say I'm like their little sister. I'm pretty sure they're expecting me to ask them. My family has said they will be hurt and upset that I don't pick them but am choosing friends, but they are 100% behind my decision. Its a consequence I'm willing to live with. You just need to decide if your relationship can take the hit of not choosing her if you think she'll be hurt, and if can't, are you okay with that? If you know your thoughts on this, you can't make a wrong choice. 

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