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Inviting SOs

Sars06Sars06 member
Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We have a few guests who don't live with their SOs, and I've read that we should send each SO his/her own invitation at his/her address. Should I also do that if we have never met the SO? Or is it better to send one invitation to the person we know, listing him/her and the SO? Or should we just ask our guests what they would prefer?

I'm just worried about people receiving an invitation from a couple they've never met and being confused/thinking it's a mistake/throwing it out.
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Re: Inviting SOs

  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    What I have always heard, and correct me other Knotties if I am wrong, is that you send the invite to the person you know or are closest to and list the SO on the invite by name.
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Fi and I were long distance for years. You can ask what the couple would like (some people did this, and FI would give my address because he likes to lose things), but I would default to sending it to the invited guest with the SO's name listed on the envelope as well. A separate invitation from someone I don't know is strange and furthermore seems to imply that FI and I aren't a social unit.
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  • ScoutFScoutF member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    severmilli12 said:
    What I have always heard, and correct me other Knotties if I am wrong, is that you send the invite to the person you know or are closest to and list the SO on the invite by name.


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    This is what we did. I think it's odd to send a SO that you don't know an invitation. Just add them to your guest's invitation.
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  • ScoutFScoutF member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2014
    Duplicate.
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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I predict mixed answers on this.  Technically, the E-correct thing to do is send the separate invitation.

    In reality, I might prefer to send the invitation with both names to the person you know already.  Why?
    1) If the invites arrive at each person's house on different days, you run the risk of the friend being offended you did not invite their SO; or vice versa if the SO gets the invite first, confusion because they don't know who you are.
    2) I like to get invitations with Fi's and my name on them together, even when we lived apart.  We're a social unit no matter where we live, and I appreciated a joint invitation to recognize that.

    You could probably solve this by sending separate invitations, but also giving a heads-up call or text to the friend that their SO is invited, and to look out for his/her invitation in the mail.
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  • LDay2014LDay2014 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I'm a little disappointed...I'm feeling feisty for some reason today and this was not the post I expected based on the title

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  • NYCBruinNYCBruin member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    If you're doing inner envelopes, I would just include the SO's name on the inner envelope.  If you're not doing inner envelopes I would just address them like this:

    Ms./Mr. Your Friend
    Ms./Mr. Your Friend's SO
    Your Friend's address

    Before FI and I lived together, we got a few invitations addressed like this.  

    I'd be confused to have gotten my own invitation addressed to my apt. for one of FI's friends weddings.  This is one of those places where I think logic trumps book etiquette. 
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
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  • Sars06Sars06 member
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Thanks, everyone! I thought the technically E-correct thing to do seemed a little weird in this instance. I'll list the SO by name on the invitation of the person we know.
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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Yep, I just listed both on the same envelope.  Although, frankly, I think only 2-3 of the invites of SOs were to people that weren't living together.  If that.
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
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