Is it tacky to have a reception 3 months after the wedding?

amandabrian11 · May 2014

I am getting married in Wisconsin September 27, 2014. All of my family and friends are in Eastern Washington where I am from. Since most won't be able to make it, would it be tacky to have a reception/celebration at a later date?

insertusernamehere · May 2014

My family likes any excuse to have a party, so if you have a get-together, rather than a reception re-do, I don't see the issue. It's not a PPD, not a re-do, not a gift-grab.

Personally, I'm all for this idea. It's very difficult for my family to travel long distances (as in more than a couple hours both ways, by car) so if I lived out-of-state very few people would be able to attend ANY sort of event/party I had.

This is also a case of knowing your guests. If I was in your shoes, OP, my family would be BEGGING to host a get-together so they could see my wedding album in person, and my aunts would ask to see my dress up close! This would become a meal/party, so a "reception" to some people.

If your guests hate parties and get-togethers, just meet up for lunch with any guests who weren't able to attend, if you'd like to catch up.

AddieCake · May 2014

I don't understand this trend of having a reception tour. If people can't make it, they can't make it.

AlexisA01 · May 2014

Yup.

doeydo · May 2014

Invite who you want to come. If those people can't come, then they cannot come.

JCbride2015 · May 2014

Just have one day. You may be surprised by the people who will travel for your wedding!

phira · May 2014

amandabrian11 said:

I am getting married in Wisconsin September 27, 2014. All of my family and friends are in Eastern Washington where I am from. Since most won't be able to make it, would it be tacky to have a reception/celebration at a later date?

How do you know that most of your family and friends can't make it?

Honestly, I wouldn't bother with a second reception later. It's one thing if the next time you're in town, your parents or a friend of yours decides, "Hey, let's celebrate!" But I wouldn't plan anything in particular.

sweetwisconsin · May 2014

I feel like I need more information. Are you only having this one reception? If it is an additional reception, I agree with PP. Just do the one reception and whoever can make it will be there. I am also a transplant to Wisconsin from Eastern Washington. Not to completely jack your thread, but where in Eastern Washington are you from? I was born in Bremerton. It isn't everyday you run accross someone who moved here from Washington. It sure is cold here isn't it?!

CMGragain · May 2014

Your wedding reception is on your wedding day, and it is for your wedding guests, as a thank you for attending. You only get one wedding reception.
You can have a party any time you wish, but please do not try to turn it into a second wedding reception. THAT would be tacky!

gladyscf · May 2014

My FI moved from Tacoma to Wisconsin to be with me!

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

You can have a party anytime to celebrate your marriage. But it wouldn't be a wedding reception.

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

Another vote for one reception only. I definately understand that you want to share the experience with many people as possible but you may be surprised about who is willing to travel. We were.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

My family is primarily in Texas but we ultimately decided to have a VA wedding- my parents wanted a chance for all the family to come that couldn't make it up here for the wedding so we had an celebrate their impending marriage dinner in March (wedding is in August) for all of that family. No gifts were given, no cake was cut, and no white dress was worn- just a family getting together to celebrate a new member- is this an option?

Maggie0829 · May 2014

Count me in as another one who doesn't understand the "reception tour." Do people really think that they are that special that everyone under the sun is crying into a tissue because they couldn't make it to their wedding and is desperately wanting additional receptions thrown so that they can celebrate something that happens months ago?

grumbledore · May 2014

Not to pile on, but I agree with PPs - just have a reception immediately following your ceremony, invite everyone who you would like to attend, and whoever is able to make it will be there.

LondonLisa · May 2014

Ditto not being a fan of the reception tour. I find it very self involved! Anyone that really wants to celebrate with you will either a.) come to your wedding or b.) have you over/ take you out for a meal to celebrate your marriage when you are in town.

One of my dear friends got married in India and I couldn't go because of work. I wanted to celebrate their marriage so I threw a dinner party and invited some other (wedding-invited, obviously) mutual friends over when they were back. We got to give them a little toast and had a nice meal. This was a party I threw in honour of them, not a party they threw in honour of themselves which would be really AW-sh.

@Maggie0829 I'm cracking up at brides imagining these guests crying into a tissue because they can't go. I have said "I'm so disappointed I can't make it to celebrate your special day!" to every wedding I have had to decline. For a few of them, this is what actually was going on in my head:

Jells2dot0 · May 2014

TexasBride2014 said:
My family is primarily in Texas but we ultimately decided to have a VA wedding- my parents wanted a chance for all the family to come that couldn't make it up here for the wedding so we had an celebrate their impending marriage dinner in March (wedding is in August) for all of that family. No gifts were given, no cake was cut, and no white dress was worn- just a family getting together to celebrate a new member- is this an option?

We did something similar to this. Since we eloped, we took DH's adult children out to dinner after we returned from our trip. There was absolutely nothing WR about it, other than just talking about our wedding and honeymoon.

yogablossom · May 2014

I think this is a particular instance in which save the dates come in very handy. If you can manage to send those out in a timely manner, then those who are coming from far away will know enough in advance to get the time off from work, book flights etc. I think you'll be surprised by how many people, if given enough time to figure out travel plans, will be in attendance

climbingsingle · May 2014

I really don't understand this trend. I feel like I see so many couples having multiple receptions.

We're having one reception. There are people that won't be able to attend because they live too far away (including FI's dad because he's sick). But we're not going to have additional receptions touring the country to celebrate with the people that couldn't be there.

bmydesigner · May 2014

Yeah, I really don't like this trend either. Sure planning a wedding and reception is fun, but I wouldn't want to plan multiple receptions. That just sounds exhausting and unnecessary to me.

Also, chances are if you have to ask if something is tacky, it's probably tacky.

Is it tacky to have a reception 3 months after the wedding?

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