Well, I decided to have bridesmaids. For now, I've asked my two closest girl-friends, and I will ask my fiance's little sister (she'll be 16, close to 17 by the time the wedding comes) when I see her in person in a few weeks. I have two other quite close girl-friends, but I haven't felt as close to them/ talked or seen them as often as the other two over the past three years. Fiance and I are moving closer to home again, and closer to the other two soon, so that could change. I may decide to add my two other friends to the bridal party as we get closer to the wedding (when we are between 6-8 months out), but I may not.
My wedding will be medium sized (100-130 invited), and besides the four friends I've mentioned, I will maybe only invite two other female friends (this does not include the 5 or so male friends I will invite--plus SOs, or fiance's friends.) So, 5 in the bridal party seems like maybe too much? And, as horrible as it is, I'm thinking about the expense of flowers and attendant gifts as well. And there's a tangential issue of my decade older cousins maybe/ probably expect to be asked to be bridesmaids but I am not going to ask. So, 5 people instead of 3 would possibly seem more like an insult to them? I know I can't base decisions around family drama too much, but it's certainly in the back of my mind.
We are still a year out. I know I should have waited the 6-8 months to ask anyone to be a bridesmaid, but the two friends I've asked have been so helpful, have been my best friends since college, and they've been very excited and have brought up all things wedding, and planning a bachelorette party for me (even when I insisted I may not have a bridal party, and that they really didn't have to.) It felt like a given that I was going to ask them, and I felt silly leaving them on the string for the "official" invitation to be a bridesmaid.
I was talking "wedding" with one of the as of now non-bridesmaid friends (about which college friends I know I am going to invite, budget constraints, etc), and she mentioned "well, at least you don't have bridesmaids!" I didn't say anything, I actually had to go and I told her so. I think its super awkward and not so polite to have the conversation, essentially, "I'm having bridesmaids. I'm asking X and Y but not you", and I don't know if I will add her or not, but if I do not, now I feel like I should tell her that I AM having bridesmaids before the wedding day so she isn't shocked/ hurt. I am at the very least going to wait to have the conversation for a few months, but, if in a few months I decide not to ask her to be a bridesmaid, should I tell her I'm having a bridal party? And if so, any suggestions on how to do it?