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Need ideas for asking people to be in our bridal party

Dignity100Dignity100 member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Party
FI and I are having a really really small wedding (immediate family only).  I originally did not think about having a 'true' bridal party but asking somebody to help fix my dress and such for pictures.  FI said that he really wanted his brother to be his Best Man, my thought was 'Ok, cool, I can just ask FI's sister to be my MOH and all will be well in the world'.  So - now we know WHO we want as our bridal party, but no idea how to ask.  I know better than to text (or even call) FI's sister and ask her, but at the same time I rarely see her 'alone'.  I was thinking of somehow just asking FI's brother and sister to lunch or dinner, but I also don't know how to do that without it being awkward and saying 'no significant others'.  I don't want to put either on the spot and I want them to be able to turn us down if they so choose.  Any ideas?  How did you ask your bridal party?


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Re: Need ideas for asking people to be in our bridal party

  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Just call her. Don't do it over text, and don't do it along with FI's brother. Give her some time to think about it and be understanding whatever she decides.
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  • RebeccaFlowerRebeccaFlower member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Just call and ask. It doesn't need to be some big, expensive production. 

    Since it's just one person on each side, I suggest letting them just wear something in their closet or just give color guidelines. Doing this was one of the best wedding decisions I made. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You can call her and ask her on the phone. Or you can call her up and ask if she wants to grab lunch and ask her in person. You're over thinking this. 
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    I sent facebook messages mostly. My friend group are not phone people. 
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  • Dignity100Dignity100 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Cool cool - thanks.  I just thought it was something that should be done 'in person' - but if there's no etiquette around that, it makes it WAY easier!!

    I plan on just giving her guidelines (I'd like it to be knee-length in one of the wedding colors), if she has something that fits, great, if not I'll offer to go shopping with her.


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Ask them each separately and directly and let it go at that.  Don't "pop" the question or use gimmicks.  It can make the people involved feel uncomfortable, especially if they have to say no for whatever reason.
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper

    i was only able to ask one of my 4 BMs in person because the other 3 live in different cities and i didn't want to wait until i saw them each again - i wanted to ask them all at the same time.  i asked one in person, one on Skype, one on the phone, and one over text (my sister/MOH - that is literally the only way she will communicate unless there is an extreme emergency).

     

    "i would really like for you to stand up with me durng the wedding because you mean a lot to me.  Will you be a bridesmaid?" is really enough, despite the ridiculous crafting atrocities that Pinterest would lead you to believe are essential.

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  • thelastdreamerthelastdreamer member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer First Anniversary
    yeah I just texted my bms ha. they all seemed cool with it. 
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  • sarahonlifesarahonlife member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I announced my engagement to my sister by texting her a picture of my ring with "Be my maid of honor?"  So...yeah, don't worry about doing anything fancy.
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  • Gina0887Gina0887 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My sisters got a phone call, and I sent my FSIL flowers with a note that said, "I've got my guy, but I need my girl. Will you stand beside me as we say yes." or something like that.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Gina0887 said:
    My sisters got a phone call, and I sent my FSIL flowers with a note that said, "I've got my guy, but I need my girl. Will you stand beside me as we say yes." or something like that.
    I wouldn't do it this way.  Sending or giving your intended wedding party members anything may feel to them like too much pressure, especially if they have to say no.
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  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    My bestie and I communicate by Facebook message most of the time so that is how I asked her to be my MOH.

    The cutesy proposals are just too much IMO.
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I asked in person. So did my partner.

    My only recommendation is to make sure you're asking people one on one (not like ... in UTTER PRIVACY) but not while you're at dinner with a few other people. Calling is fine, too.

    And just make sure that, well, you're actually in conversation. J asked his brothers to be best men by walking into the living room while we were all hanging out at their parents' house and just asking, and one of his brothers was in the middle of a conversation with someone else. They were both distracted (one of them didn't even hear the question) and one of them didn't even officially say yes. J seemed really disappointed because neither of them seemed interested or excited.
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