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Wedding Party

Should i go to her Bachelorette Party or save money for mine?!

I need HELP!!! To start i will give a little background info...I hope you can keep up!! one of my long time friends got engaged in December and shortly after called me and asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I started planning with her over the phone as she lives 3 hours away and i was very excited for her. Then in January only about 2 weeks later I GOT ENGAGED!!! So naturally i stepped back from planning her wedding to plan my own. We are going to do a destination wedding in January and her wedding will be in September of this year, and where she lives. Now here comes the tricky party, my family and I go to Vegas once a year so of course we wanted to have a VEGAS bachelorette party and the best weekend to do this was the weekend after HER wedding. Fine, Done! So we planned it. And of course anyone already involved in HER wedding is not going to be attending my party, i was OK with this and understanding. OH Also she is not a BRIDESMAID in my wedding and she made sure i knew she was upset and not happy about this. I guess i never thought of her as that type of friends, i also have 3 sisters so i only have 3 bridesmaids. which is ALOT for destination wedding. OK, fine, be mad, i don't care. BC I'M GETTING MARRIED and that's all that matters!! So now comes her bachelorette party which is going to be a combined bachelor and bachelorette party camping weekend in the middle of July. Sounds like a blast right, well to me it doesn't and here is why 1. I am broke already from my wedding and to drive over 6 hours for this with guys i don't know is uncomfortable 2. my fiance is not going to come with 3.I NEED to save money for MINE 4. My vacation is maxed out and i start school the same exact week her party is planned for. BUT i am a bridesmaid in her wedding and i don't know what to do?! I have already been TOLD i NEED to go but reality is im an adult and so is she and should understand.  AAAHHHHH!!!! HELP!!! I do not want to go but how do i to tell her!? 

Re: Should i go to her Bachelorette Party or save money for mine?!

  • KGold80KGold80 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper

    I need HELP!!! To start i will give a little background info...I hope you can keep up!! one of my long time friends got engaged in December and shortly after called me and asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. I started planning with her over the phone as she lives 3 hours away and i was very excited for her. Then in January only about 2 weeks later I GOT ENGAGED!!! So naturally i stepped back from planning her wedding to plan my own. We are going to do a destination wedding in January and her wedding will be in September of this year, and where she lives. Now here comes the tricky party, my family and I go to Vegas once a year so of course we wanted to have a VEGAS bachelorette party and the best weekend to do this was the weekend after HER wedding. Fine, Done! So we planned it. And of course anyone already involved in HER wedding is not going to be attending my party, i was OK with this and understanding. OH Also she is not a BRIDESMAID in my wedding and she made sure i knew she was upset and not happy about this. I guess i never thought of her as that type of friends, i also have 3 sisters so i only have 3 bridesmaids. which is ALOT for destination wedding. OK, fine, be mad, i don't care. BC I'M GETTING MARRIED and that's all that matters!! So now comes her bachelorette party which is going to be a combined bachelor and bachelorette party camping weekend in the middle of July. Sounds like a blast right, well to me it doesn't and here is why 1. I am broke already from my wedding and to drive over 6 hours for this with guys i don't know is uncomfortable 2. my fiance is not going to come with 3.I NEED to save money for MINE 4. My vacation is maxed out and i start school the same exact week her party is planned for. BUT i am a bridesmaid in her wedding and i don't know what to do?! I have already been TOLD i NEED to go but reality is im an adult and so is she and should understand.  AAAHHHHH!!!! HELP!!! I do not want to go but how do i to tell her!? 

    I'm not even going into the hot mess of a relationship dynamic you have going on here. And also, paragraphs are nice.

    Fact: bridesmaids are not required to participate in any pre-wedding events, that includes the bachelorette. Tell her that you will not be able to attend.
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  • Tell her you don't feel comfortable traveling that far alone and since your fiance can't make it, you're going to have to decline.  You hope it's all she wants it to be and will send good karma her way.

    Or tell her you don't camp.
  • If you don't want to go, don't go. You're not required or obligated to go. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Just don't go.


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Don't go.
  • Your obligation is to buy the right dress and show up. Nothing more.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • This is why I dislike "destination" parties. Of any sort. I think they put unfair and inconsiderate requests on guests time and money.

    You're not obligated to go. You aren't required to offer excuses or reasons. Just : Thank you for the invite, I'm sorry that I won't be able to join you and hope you have a wonderful time.
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