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rsvp vent

hyechica81hyechica81 member
Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
so i got one rsvp today in the mail from my cousin the invite was to him and his gf. a few days before my aunt messaged me on facebook wanting to know if children were invited. i said no we were not inviting any children

so the rsvp comes in the mail for 4 people i had a fit, ( i am still living at home as the apartment me and fi are moving to wont be ready) anyways my mom said wait find out how many people you get first and then decided if they can come i said hold up we were not inviting children for a reason and this is BS granted they would be half price 37.00 but then i would have to invite my other cousins young children and then we have 2 couples on robs side that have children and we would have to include them..

now comes the dreaded message to my cousin hey i just got your response card but unfortunately children were not invited  so i need to know what your meal choices are.
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Re: rsvp vent

  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Good. Hold your ground. As you said, if you allow them to come, now you have to invite others. Also, it justifies their rude behavior. They've probably gotten away with it before.

    It's especially irksome when you've told someone kids aren't invited and then they add them anyway. Why bother calling if you're just going to do whatever you want? Ugh.
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    i know  its like my parents who are going to  a wedding a month after mine rsvping for me my fi my sister and my brother  when we were not invited..

    and yesterday we had an rsvp for one of fi coworkers he recently broke up with his on and off gf for good he responded he was coming but forgot to check off his meal choice no big deal
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  • OnceUponAVineOnceUponAVine member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Good for you on holding your ground. I don't understand why people think this is somehow acceptable...
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2014
    i guess some people did not get the etiquette  memo.


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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Good.  Stand firm that children are not invited, no exceptions.  Don't give any reasons, because they will try to argue their way around each one.
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  • HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Good for you for standing your ground!! I am aghast at the people who ask if something is OK, are told it's not, and then do it anyway. THEN WHY DID YOU FREAKING ASK?!?
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited May 2014
    he didnt ask my aunt did for him via a text then she relayed the message that i said no so then they still rsvped for more than they should.


    hopefully more rsvps come in on monday today only one card came yesterday it was three .




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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yes that was pretty rude of them. It's one thing to not know but they knew the answer was no, but they added the children anyway. Don't let them get away with that.
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  • hyechica81hyechica81 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    it was rude but i said sorry for the confusion but we are not inviting children i asked him if they still wanted this as there meal option as its something i know children wont eat.? and he said i will have to check still waiting for him to get back to me on that no sweat.


    originally i was going to have a flower girl and ringbeere but then i couldnt find or new anyone with a child to be the flower girl and me and my fi talked and said well if those were the only children at the wedding who were in the party the siblings would be left out and then we said ok we would have to invite them then we said what about everyone else who has young children.. so we decided to not have children in the wp. if we did end up inviting children it would have been 10 extra people. who range from age 7-9 months



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  • weddingmcgeeweddingmcgee member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    If you don't want kids at your wedding, good for you for sticking to it! I wish I had. My future sister in law casually told me that her son would not be at the rehearsal dinner but would be at the wedding. The wedding invite didn't include kids and they didn't ask, they just told me they were bringing the kid. I was informed the same day that another family member was bringing their kids. So, I just said, "okay, we'll have kids because, whatever". I never said anything to the people who didn't ask, I just kept it to myself. And now I kind of regret not saying anything. We aren't doing flower girls or ring bearers or anything like that. I'm also not making accommodations or having special kid food. But because our wedding is by a lake, at night, with alcohol, it just stresses me out that there will be toddlers there. I know their parents will watch them, but overall I just wish I'd stuck to my original instincts to not have kids. So, as a note to future brides- make your rules and stick to it! Y
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