NWR: House Hunting

sarahufl · May 2014

FI and I have been house hunting for what seems like forever now. Ugh. We currently live in Manhattan, but decided that if we want a family soon, it may be time to get a house in the burbs so we could be settled in by the time kid #1 arrived.

We are looking at towns north of Manhattan but it has been frustrating. I fell IN LOVE with a house and he is sort of wishy washy about it, which bums me out.

What do you and your FI/DH disagree on when it comes to houses?

JCbride2015 · May 2014

I think you guys should come on out to Jersey City.

Fi and I are currently renting and probably will be for several years. This is the third home we have rented together and so far we have been in perfect sync. We disagree sometimes about decorating styles, but not the actual house.

Our dream house is a big old brownstone with a garage and a small backyard, in our current neighborhood. We never want to leave.

JennyColada · May 2014

Fi owned his house before I even came into the picture. I don't care for much of his furniture (but god forbid I try to take away any of his reclining sofas…), but he's open to me doing what I want to it, which is nice.

He's VERY organized, and I'm very…not. But he's made a lot of allowances for me, and I know that's hard for him. But aside from me basically throwing chaos into his way of life, we agree on most stuff. We're both big foodies, so we agree on counter and kitchen space being important. Aside from that, we haven't really had to discuss it.

sarahufl · May 2014

FI is from Westchester and his family lives there- we checked out a bunch of the NJ burbs but the commutes seemed awful, plus the traffic....how bad is it in JC?

Oddly enough, we found one house we both adore but can't pull the trigger. It is a hair on the small side, and a bit expensive. We generally agree, but for some reason he isn't thrilled about this other house I love.

sweetwisconsin · May 2014

@JennyColada FI also bought a house before I met him. I moved in last October and it still feels like his place even though my stuff is here as well. I hear ya on the recliners. FI has some that were his grandparents. He really wants to keep because they are "comfy." They may be comfy, but they are hideous.

We are hopefully going to be house hunting next spring after the wedding. We have started browsing online and I can tell we have different tastes. We are toying with the idea of possibly building instead.

JCbride2015 · May 2014

sarahufl said:

FI is from Westchester and his family lives there- we checked out a bunch of the NJ burbs but the commutes seemed awful, plus the traffic....how bad is it in JC?

Oddly enough, we found one house we both adore but can't pull the trigger. It is a hair on the small side, and a bit expensive. We generally agree, but for some reason he isn't thrilled about this other house I love.

JC is an extremely easy commute anywhere on the west side. The PATH goes to WTC and 33rd St., and it runs every 4 minutes or so at rush hour. Even in the middle of the night, it runs every 20 minutes, 24 hours a day. Just like the NYC subway. Plus we have a lot of options for ferry service.

It's not the greatest place if you have to drive everywhere-- but then again, neither is Manhattan or the rest of the city. I love my commute now that we live here. We do have a car, but we just use it for visiting family and running errands.

Grabows14 · May 2014

It was pretty difficult too when we were looking for houses. He was all about appearances of a larger house; and I wanted more ammneties. We had a LONG list of criteria: about 15 items. But honestly, the house we found after 6 months was PERFECT. And they had a price drop like a week before we saw it so it came into our budget.

It's definitely frustrating, but I know you guys will finally find the house you want!

Good luck!

AprilH81 · May 2014

We mostly agreed on style. I was more open to doing work than he was, but luckily the house we found only needs some minor tweaking (and nothing HAS to be done immediately).

pinkcow13 · May 2014

We are looking to start hunting I think within the next 2 years. I love Manhattan, but I don't think we'll be able to stay here much longer. I would love to live in a Penthouse overlooking Central Park,and dream building is the Dakota. Chances are that we're not winning the lotto though, so I can kiss those options goodbye lol.

I personally love to live in apartments, and I don't necessarily want to move to the burbs, while FI is more open to the idea. For the most part, we agree on housing, but I guess once we are ready to really start looking we might have to make a lot of compromises.

sarahufl · May 2014

pinkcow13 said:

We are looking to start hunting I think within the next 2 years. I love Manhattan, but I don't think we'll be able to stay here much longer. I would love to live in a Penthouse overlooking Central Park,and dream building is the Dakota. Chances are that we're not winning the lotto though, so I can kiss those options goodbye lol.

I personally love to live in apartments, and I don't necessarily want to move to the burbs, while FI is more open to the idea. For the most part, we agree on housing, but I guess once we are ready to really start looking we might have to make a lot of compromises.

oh, The Dakota

I live a few blocks away and always ogle it. Apartments bother me because the ones we can afford are too small and have zero storage. If we had piles of money and could live in a big apartment with lots of closets, I'd be all for it.

I was very anti- burb until we started looking at houses. Then I realized how much you get for your money outside of NYC and it started looking better and better.

KeptInStitches · May 2014

He was open to doing more work than I was. We worked together on a list of what a house needed to have - I think we headed it with "what's the point of a house if ...". Examples of items were "I can't put a swing set in the back yard" (needed a little yard), and "I have to park on the street all the time" (at least a 1-car garage).

beethery · May 2014

JennyColada said:

Fi owned his house before I even came into the picture. I don't care for much of his furniture (but god forbid I try to take away any of his reclining sofas…), but he's open to me doing what I want to it, which is nice.

He's VERY organized, and I'm very…not. But he's made a lot of allowances for me, and I know that's hard for him. But aside from me basically throwing chaos into his way of life, we agree on most stuff. We're both big foodies, so we agree on counter and kitchen space being important. Aside from that, we haven't really had to discuss it.

I have never wished that the dog would ruin a piece of furniture more than I have wished it upon FI's hideous reclining sofas. They are comfy, but they are two of the ugliest sombitches I have ever seen.

I just want a sectional like this SO BAD

Kauris · May 2014

We've been in our house for about a year now. We looked for a year. We looked at over 250 houses (inside and touring them). We did drive-bys of over 1,000 houses to check out the street, neighborhood and outside of the house. (Pictures can be so very deceptive sometimes.)

The biggest difference we had while looking was price. He wanted to stay in the $200-$250k range, we're in Texas, you get a lot of bang for your buck here. I thought it would be better if we looked at $250-$280. I can tell you who won...

It really came down to the fact that we wanted no less than 2,000 sq. ft., 4 bed, 3 bath, that was completely redone and you could not find that for his price range. But we did eventually find one that we love, with everything we wanted. So, good luck and be patient, it's a process, but it's worth it.

Inkdancer · May 2014

We put in a bid on a house yesterday. Apparently the sellers are getting estimates on some window repair (which was stipulated in our offer-some of the seals were broken) so I think they might accept!

The only thing we really disagreed on initially was location, but when he figured out we could get 30% more house for the same amount in the next town over, he came around.

pinkcow13 · May 2014

I always try to make it a point to walk by the Dakota if I'm in the area

Yea, you can definitely get a lot more bang for your buck outside of the city. My cousin has this huge house in Jersey that she and her husband bought a few years ago. Their backyard is enormous, and the house is gorgeous, but it is about and hour change from midtown. And only the bus goes out there, not the train, so her commute used to be 2-3 hours when she worked in the city. I'm not looking forward to the house hunt when our time comes lol.

jdluvr06 · May 2014

We agreed for the most part. He was open to a fixed upper though and I was absolutely not. Lol. We compromised on that and found one that we can do a little work to but was move in ready.

Ven&Radio · May 2014

H and I were pretty much on the same page when it came to buying a house... decorating it on the other hand is where we struggle. I have a more modern style and he's more traditional. We always manage to find stuff that makes both of us happy, but it's often struggle to get there.

KPBM89 · May 2014

I absolutely did not want to buy a townhouse. We bought a townhouse.

We only had two days down here to look at places, and had to close in 30 days b/c FI's job relocated him and wanted him down here one month after he got the offer. We bought a home well under our budget and have since gained a lot of equity on it and it's in a fantastic, very desirable neighborhood.

I am actually now fine with it, and love the benefits of our low cost HOA fees (pool, landscaping, water, etc. all covered). This is our starter home and we're hoping to move in about a year or so to northern NC or southern VA to be a good midway point between our two families so we don't have to drive 24 hours every time we wanna visit.

We agreed that we definitely need more space in our next home, definitely want to stay in the south, and we would like to be near water, most likely on a lake (we're currently looking into the Kerr Lake area). We're both thinking about what we like and dislike about our current home to see what we'd like in our next one. Our main disagreement right now is when to move.

sarahufl · May 2014

pinkcow13 said:

I always try to make it a point to walk by the Dakota if I'm in the area

Yea, you can definitely get a lot more bang for your buck outside of the city. My cousin has this huge house in Jersey that she and her husband bought a few years ago. Their backyard is enormous, and the house is gorgeous, but it is about and hour change from midtown. And only the bus goes out there, not the train, so her commute used to be 2-3 hours when she worked in the city. I'm not looking forward to the house hunt when our time comes lol.

Right now, I am 20 minutes door to door from work. FI is about the same in the opposite direction. If I could afford a big enough place on the Upper West Side, I would never, ever leave. I love this neighborhood so much. My rule for burbs is our house has to have a few things-

- Walk to shops
- Walk to the train
- Less than 1 hour from work

Obviously it shrinks your available area by quite a bit, but I think it helps with quality of life. Right now, we are focusing on Bronxville because it really does fulfill all of those criteria.

sarahufl · May 2014

kasmith1 said:

We've been in our house for about a year now. We looked for a year. We looked at over 250 houses (inside and touring them). We did drive-bys of over 1,000 houses to check out the street, neighborhood and outside of the house. (Pictures can be so very deceptive sometimes.)

The biggest difference we had while looking was price. He wanted to stay in the $200-$250k range, we're in Texas, you get a lot of bang for your buck here. I thought it would be better if we looked at $250-$280. I can tell you who won... It really came down to the fact that we wanted no less than 2,000 sq. ft., 4 bed, 3 bath, that was completely redone and you could not find that for his price range. But we did eventually find one that we love, with everything we wanted. So, good luck and be patient, it's a process, but it's worth it.

oh, what we wouldn't give for such affordable housing......

Inkdancer · May 2014

KPBM89 said:

I absolutely did not want to buy a townhouse. We bought a townhouse.

We only had two days down here to look at places, and had to close in 30 days b/c FI's job relocated him and wanted him down here one month after he got the offer. We bought a home well under our budget and have since gained a lot of equity on it and it's in a fantastic, very desirable neighborhood.

I am actually now fine with it, and love the benefits of our low cost HOA fees (pool, landscaping, water, etc. all covered). This is our starter home and we're hoping to move in about a year or so to northern NC or southern VA to be a good midway point between our two families so we don't have to drive 24 hours every time we wanna visit.

We agreed that we definitely need more space in our next home, definitely want to stay in the south, and we would like to be near water, most likely on a lake (we're currently looking into the Kerr Lake area). We're both thinking about what we like and dislike about our current home to see what we'd like in our next one. Our main disagreement right now is when to move.

Jordan Lake just outside of Raleigh is a nice lake.

And no, of course I'm not just trying to bribe Knotties to come to my area. What would make you think that??

KPBM89 · May 2014

Inkdancer said:

KPBM89 said:

I absolutely did not want to buy a townhouse. We bought a townhouse.

We only had two days down here to look at places, and had to close in 30 days b/c FI's job relocated him and wanted him down here one month after he got the offer. We bought a home well under our budget and have since gained a lot of equity on it and it's in a fantastic, very desirable neighborhood.

I am actually now fine with it, and love the benefits of our low cost HOA fees (pool, landscaping, water, etc. all covered). This is our starter home and we're hoping to move in about a year or so to northern NC or southern VA to be a good midway point between our two families so we don't have to drive 24 hours every time we wanna visit.

We agreed that we definitely need more space in our next home, definitely want to stay in the south, and we would like to be near water, most likely on a lake (we're currently looking into the Kerr Lake area). We're both thinking about what we like and dislike about our current home to see what we'd like in our next one. Our main disagreement right now is when to move.

Jordan Lake just outside of Raleigh is a nice lake.

And no, of course I'm not just trying to bribe Knotties to come to my area. What would make you think that??

Oh we'll look there, too, thank you! Neither of us are very familiar with the Carolinas, aside from driving through, so we didn't know where to look. We literally google mapped NC and zoomed in where we saw water.

SapphireCounselor · May 2014

sarahufl said:

FI and I have been house hunting for what seems like forever now. Ugh. We currently live in Manhattan, but decided that if we want a family soon, it may be time to get a house in the burbs so we could be settled in by the time kid #1 arrived.

We are looking at towns north of Manhattan but it has been frustrating. I fell IN LOVE with a house and he is sort of wishy washy about it, which bums me out.

What do you and your FI/DH disagree on when it comes to houses?

We just went through the house buying process and we had our frustrating moments too. We both generally agreed on the kind of house we wanted (3 bedroom for a potential family, fairly move-in ready, a nice-sized yard, etc.) We both fell in love with the same houses, which made the process easier. We had different opinions when it came to negotiating purchase prices, etc., but it all worked out.

NavyBlue143 · May 2014

We are beginning the process soon. H wants vast acreage and to build a house out of storage containers. I want no more than 10 acres and a more traditional looking house, although I could be talked into a hobbit hole style earthship home. We have had 3 arguments already and we haven't even started looking yet...

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