Bridesmaid Gifts

Re: Bridesmaid Gifts

• sarawifenow member

  

  May 2014

  Generally the rule is that anything that you get them to wear at your wedding is part of their "uniform" and isn't really a gift. That being said, I am getting my girls custom jewlery that they can wear day of as my "big gift" then supplimenting them with little things (scarves, face masks, etc). I like the idea of a "day of bag". I think that what matters most is that they are meaningful, not that they are expensive.

   

  Good luck and congratulations on the upcomming wedding!

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2014

  brandi902 said:

  I have started getting my "gifts" for my girls. I decided to do a "day of" bag with all kinds of things that they might need in the days leading up to and the day of the wedding. The bags are personalized and will have a couple other personalized items (i.e. shirt, drinking cup) in them, as well as many essential items. Do I also have to get them jewelry or another "special" gift? I was thinking of a necklace or a pair of earrings to wear to the wedding, but it's getting pricey. I'm just not sure what is expected and/or how much I'm supposed to spend...everything included. I am also paying for their hair the day of, as well as giving gifts at the bachelorette party. Thanks in advance for any advice! B2B 8914 :-)

  Don't get them anything they are supposed to wear to the wedding-whether that's jewelry, hairdos, makeup jobs, accessories, or whatever.  The gift really should be 1) something not wedding-related and 2) something that they will individually appreciate.

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• brandi902 member

  

  May 2014

  I wasn't counting their hairdos as part of their gift, I'm just counting it towards the amount that I'm spending on them. The only reason that I'm paying for it is because I want them all to have their hair the same way, and I figure if I delegate it, then I should pay for it.

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• vsgal member

  

  May 2014

  Their gifts should be something from the heart.  Not a bag of bobby pins and breathmints or other "day of" essentials.  Not a personalized shirt or cup unless they love that kind of thing. Not the jewelry that you want them to wear at the wedding. 
  
  Give them something that you would give them on their birthdays.  If one loves wine, get her a couple of her favorite bottles.  That kind of thing.
  
  It is good that you are paying for their hair.  I would suggest that they have some input on the style and not all have the same thing.  Not every style looks good on every person. 
  

  ROCK IS KING!!

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• manateehugger member

  

  May 2014

  Agreed with everyone else that non-wedding related and suited to their own tastes is best. 

  
  

  I've gotten a number of totes full of a day-of "emergency kit," and I don't think I've ever used anything out of any of them except chapstick once. 

  
  

  If you want to do an emergency kit, I recommend just making one go-bag that everyone (including you!) can pull things out of if they happen to forget them. 

  

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• erinlin25 member

  

  May 2014

  scrap the "day of" essentials and get them something they will like and use...otherwise you are wasting your money!  Not many people will use a personalized t shirt and/or cup after your wedding day.  Ditto what PDKH recommended about the "go to" bag available so if anyone (including you) needs something it is available, but those things are not a "gift."
  

  
  
  
  

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• lilacck28 member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  What do people think of those love knot rings? Something like: CLICK

  
  

  To be clear, this wouldn't be for wearing at the wedding. I like it, and I think its cute and would wear it, but would getting it for all three bridesmaids be a no no/ too impersonal? 

  
  

  Edit: hyperlink fail. Something like: http://www.etsy.com/listing/171683075/sterling-silver-love-knot-ring-promise?utm_source=google&utm_medium=product_listing_promoted&utm_campaign=jewelry_low&gclid=CjgKEAjwnfGbBRDlxoHrl6uikyESJAD-nzCFxeoy7xd6IVWzKBNq8gESUWxyjvkMy_Xp0cKBfyhMc_D_BwE

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• manateehugger member

  

  May 2014

  lilacck28 said:

  What do people think of those love knot rings? Something like: CLICK

  
  

  To be clear, this wouldn't be for wearing at the wedding. I like it, and I think its cute and would wear it, but would getting it for all three bridesmaids be a no no/ too impersonal? 

  Your link doesn't work, but I know what these are. 

  
  

  Would all your bridesmaids wear these? I know I wouldn't. I wear my engagement ring and a ring my mother gave me and that's it. Jewelry I would veer away from unless you KNOW it's the individual bridesmaid's tastes. I also personally always think of these rings more as a symbol of romance instead of friendship. 

  

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• lilacck28 member

  

  May 2014

  @PDKH yes, good points. I liked the idea for a while but I've been leaning away from it lately for the same reasons. Though I didn't associate romantic love with it. May still get it for fiance's little sister-pretty sure it's her taste.

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• Sngreenberg member

  

  May 2014

  You all just answered the question I just posted, I think. But if you have something to add, I am interested to hear it

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• VesperLove member

  

  May 2014

  I actually disagree with the comment on jewelry (to be worn at the wedding) being considered part of their uniform and not their bridesmaid gift. My best friend purchased all of us (her bridesmaids) a set of pearls (necklace, bracelet, and earrings) as our bridesmaid gift. We all wore them in the wedding as she requested, but it was still an amazing bridesmaid gift. I wear them for everything.

  
  

  That being said, if the jewelry you want them to wear in the wedding isn't something they will wear again and truly is something YOU want but they probably wouldn't pick out for themselves, then I'd consider getting them something different. 

  
  

  As for your day of package ... I had another friend who did that, but also included a few personalized items for later use. Candles in our favorite scents, stationary in our individual styles, etc. As long as the items cater to your BMs and not to you, I think any gift is a great gift.

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• pinkshorts27 member

  

  May 2014

  kyleneum13 said:

  I actually disagree with the comment on jewelry (to be worn at the wedding) being considered part of their uniform and not their bridesmaid gift. My best friend purchased all of us (her bridesmaids) a set of pearls (necklace, bracelet, and earrings) as our bridesmaid gift. We all wore them in the wedding as she requested, but it was still an amazing bridesmaid gift. I wear them for everything.

  
  

  That being said, if the jewelry you want them to wear in the wedding isn't something they will wear again and truly is something YOU want but they probably wouldn't pick out for themselves, then I'd consider getting them something different. 

  
  

  As for your day of package ... I had another friend who did that, but also included a few personalized items for later use. Candles in our favorite scents, stationary in our individual styles, etc. As long as the items cater to your BMs and not to you, I think any gift is a great gift.

  
  

  Just because you liked it doesn't mean other people like jewelry 

  
  

  

  
  

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• Alyssa18o6 member

  

  June 2014

  Im generally confused on this topic. I've been in a few weddings as have my FI and both of us were talking about the gifts. Mine has always been hair + my jewelery, and his we're his shoes (they wore chuck taylors to one wedding). We both never thought it was "rude" or "bad etiquette" I asked some of my BMs about the past weddings they were in and they said the same thing, and they never thought it was rude either, they liked that they didn't have the spend the extra money.  But I was told on another thread that my gifts we're bad gifts as well... So is it maybe a location thing? Example, people in the south don't do this as gifts so they consider it rude, where say people in the north don't think it's rude? Once again that was just an example.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2014

  Alyssa18o6 said:

  Im generally confused on this topic. I've been in a few weddings as have my FI and both of us were talking about the gifts. Mine has always been hair + my jewelery, and his we're his shoes (they wore chuck taylors to one wedding). We both never thought it was "rude" or "bad etiquette" I asked some of my BMs about the past weddings they were in and they said the same thing, and they never thought it was rude either, they liked that they didn't have the spend the extra money.  But I was told on another thread that my gifts we're bad gifts as well... So is it maybe a location thing? Example, people in the south don't do this as gifts so they consider it rude, where say people in the north don't think it's rude? Once again that was just an example.
  

  Well, it's always best not to give as "gifts" something you expect your wedding party members to use or wear in the wedding itself, regardless of what region you are in, because the idea is to express appreciation for their not only being in the wedding party, but also for the relationships you have with them outside of the wedding.  So it's not a "location thing" at all. 
  

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• Alyssa18o6 member

  

  June 2014

  Jen4948 said:

  Alyssa18o6 said:

  Im generally confused on this topic. I've been in a few weddings as have my FI and both of us were talking about the gifts. Mine has always been hair + my jewelery, and his we're his shoes (they wore chuck taylors to one wedding). We both never thought it was "rude" or "bad etiquette" I asked some of my BMs about the past weddings they were in and they said the same thing, and they never thought it was rude either, they liked that they didn't have the spend the extra money.  But I was told on another thread that my gifts we're bad gifts as well... So is it maybe a location thing? Example, people in the south don't do this as gifts so they consider it rude, where say people in the north don't think it's rude? Once again that was just an example.
  

  Well, it's always best not to give as "gifts" something you expect your wedding party members to use or wear in the wedding itself, regardless of what region you are in, because the idea is to express appreciation for their not only being in the wedding party, but also for the relationships you have with them outside of the wedding.  So it's not a "location thing" at all. 
  

  I was using the "location" as an example. Seeing as I don't understand why this was the norm in my social circule, but frowned upon on this board
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  June 2014

  Alyssa18o6 said:

  Jen4948 said:

  Alyssa18o6 said:

  Im generally confused on this topic. I've been in a few weddings as have my FI and both of us were talking about the gifts. Mine has always been hair + my jewelery, and his we're his shoes (they wore chuck taylors to one wedding). We both never thought it was "rude" or "bad etiquette" I asked some of my BMs about the past weddings they were in and they said the same thing, and they never thought it was rude either, they liked that they didn't have the spend the extra money.  But I was told on another thread that my gifts we're bad gifts as well... So is it maybe a location thing? Example, people in the south don't do this as gifts so they consider it rude, where say people in the north don't think it's rude? Once again that was just an example.
  

  Well, it's always best not to give as "gifts" something you expect your wedding party members to use or wear in the wedding itself, regardless of what region you are in, because the idea is to express appreciation for their not only being in the wedding party, but also for the relationships you have with them outside of the wedding.  So it's not a "location thing" at all. 
  

  I was using the "location" as an example. Seeing as I don't understand why this was the norm in my social circule, but frowned upon on this board
  

  Speaking for myself, I'd be willing to give you and your social circle the benefit of any doubt that you intended any rudeness or impropriety in your choice of gifts for attendants.  I'm sure most other people in this forum would too.  But it's not a "location thing," because the people here who frown on this come from many backgrounds and regions.
  

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