Bachelorette Weekend Question

Lori&Chris · May 2014

Hi Ladies,

MOH here, with a question about the bachelorette party. The bride (my sister) would like to get away for a girls' weekend in a small town within a couple of hours' drive from where we live (major city). We were thinking a 3-day weekend for Labor Day, and I'm looking at options to rent a house with a pool for everyone to stay. I'd like to keep costs as low as possible and I'm trying to be sensitive to budgets.

My initial thought was to find a place, divide the cost by the number of people coming, and ask each person to add $35 to the cost of the house rental for groceries and I would buy food for the whole group for the weekend. In other words, the total cost includes room and board, and the only thing I would tell the guests to bring is whatever booze she wants to drink. I am expecting 10-15 people total. Most everyone is in the late 20s to early 30s age range and we have a pretty varied demographic of singles, marrieds, mommies, students, etc.

What do you think is a reasonable cost for a weekend like this? Is it too much to ask for $200 per person for the 3-day weekend (+$35 for food)? Please let me know if I'm way out of line, as I don't want to offend anyone.

Thanks!

brandi902 · May 2014

I think that amount is not much to ask. I am having my bachelorette party at the beach as well. We only have 5 girls going so far and it's going to be $200/person, not including food. Thurs-Sun trip.

jneen101 · May 2014

I think you need to ask the actual people who will be spending the $200 if it is too much to ask.

Grabows14 · May 2014

Get the budget first (i.e. ask them first what they can afford) and then start planning from there.

boxjelly · May 2014

jneen101 said:

I think you need to ask the actual people who will be spending the $200 if it is too much to ask.

This. I would ask input from the other brides. Maybe someone's relative has a place you could rent or have. It depends on the BM $200 could be a bit much.

erinlin25 · May 2014

definitely get the individual budgets of those who want to go. Bride may want an event like this but if she wants people there it needs to be affordable. $200 may work for everyone but it also could not. Is it a reasonable price for 3 days at a beach house? Maybe. But reasonable and being able to actually do it is a whole different story. Keep in mind with trips like this you plan on 15 people...and then if only 6 end up going, you cannot force the price up on everyone else last minute--so where is the extra $ going to come from?? The host? If a party was a $200 budget and then ended up being $400 I would be pissed (and probably would have to drop out from going myself) so make sure whatever budget you estimate is a "high estimate" (6 people going vs. 15 people going will vary the cost greatly). so just be prepared of the risk you take when planning a bachelorette party like this and make sure everyone is committed so you can lock in an actual cost so people don't leave you hanging with a big bill at the end. Labor Day weekend will probably make it more expensive for a rental so it is a holiday weekend so keep that in mind as well.

VesperLove · May 2014

I don't think it's too much to ask. My sister (MOH) is planning my bachelorette and she is doing about the same... her budget for each person is $250 which she verified with the ladies would be okay with them. Anything above that (should she decide to add additional things in for the weekend) she will be paying for. I don't think that price is unreasonable for room, board, and weekend festivities.

That being said, I'm also allowing my BMs to pick their own dresses (at whatever price they want), as well as their own shoes, and probably paying for their hair the day of the wedding. Basically, keep in mind what they are paying for other things. Are you requiring a dress that is a few hundred bucks? Shoes that are another $80? Paying for their own hair and makeup for the event? Buying their own mandatory jewelry?

I don't think being asked to be a bridesmaid should break the bank so if they are spending a ton on other things, an expensive weekend away might not be the best option. If those costs are within reason, then your amount doesn't seem like too much for the weekend away.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

kyleneum13 said:

I don't think it's too much to ask. My sister (MOH) is planning my bachelorette and she is doing about the same... her budget for each person is $250 which she verified with the ladies would be okay with them. Anything above that (should she decide to add additional things in for the weekend) she will be paying for. I don't think that price is unreasonable for room, board, and weekend festivities.

That being said, I'm also allowing my BMs to pick their own dresses (at whatever price they want), as well as their own shoes, and probably paying for their hair the day of the wedding. Basically, keep in mind what they are paying for other things. Are you requiring a dress that is a few hundred bucks? Shoes that are another $80? Paying for their own hair and makeup for the event? Buying their own mandatory jewelry?

I don't think being asked to be a bridesmaid should break the bank so if they are spending a ton on other things, an expensive weekend away might not be the best option. If those costs are within reason, then your amount doesn't seem like too much for the weekend away.

The question of whether you think it's unreasonable is immaterial. It's a lot of money, and you don't get to spend other people's money. If your sister asked each BM privately what her budget was, and this was the number agreed upon, that's OK.

If your sister said, 'I'm planning a party that's going to cost $250 each, are you all OK with that?,' it's NOT OK, because some of them might have felt pressured into saying yes.

It's great that you're being so accommodating of your BMs' budgets -- that's really wonderful -- but even with that, it's a lot to ask of your BMs to spend $250 each and give up an entire weekend for a bachelorette party.

mellyD2014 · May 2014

I think that's a reasonable amount (especially for where I'm located) but it's still a lot of money, especially as you said the people coming are quite varied (married, students, etc.). Definitely reach out to those who are going to be invited to get their budget.

In the past, I've seen the planners basically price out 2 or 3 options so people can have an idea of what it's going to cost. I think a combination of that as well as asking people individually what they are comfortable with is the best option. Have fun!

iloveu4ever · May 2014

Pool and everything then no its great. Cheaper than hotel.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I agree with others, put out there what you are planning, you may never know who has connections to a great deal and see who is interested & available to go that date. If you are planning a budget based on 10 people going & then only 5 can go, then the price changes for each person to maybe something they can't afford or you'll need to make up the difference.

jenna8984 · May 2014

Am I the only one that seems to think an entire weekend is ridiculous? Unless the people attending are like 4 sisters, otherwise no one wants to spend their time and money with women they aren't close with. I was once a bridesmaid with 8 others and I didn't know any of the other girls besides the bride. $200 may be reasonable for a weekend getaway but I'd only spend it on a weekend getaway with my FI- not 8 stranger ladies. That's not a fun time in my book. I'm sorry if that sounds antisocial but I'm 30, I don't need to bond with these other women and make friends with them. After that wedding I've never seen any of them again.

My brother's wife had us all go out to a fun bar together and dance for her bachelorette. We carpooled so there no cost for a limo or anything, you could order whatever food and drink you wanted. So while some maybe spent $100, I got one soda and spent $4 the entire evening and I had a blast, as did the bride. I'm expecting something very similar for myself.

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