NWR: Care to share? AKA Help please, if you will.

KytchynWitche · May 2014

I have a huge favour to ask of you all. I know we don't generally approve of this kind of thing, but I'm not asking you to go off-site, to do my work for me, or anything like that. If you don't want to help, that's cool too, but any input you have would be greatly appreciated and I will obviously acknowledge all help in the final work.

Okay, so some of you may know that I'm a writer and that I'm currently working on a semi-autobio novel, tentatively titled "The Woman Who Wouldn't Grow Up". The main plot involves a woman who is quite immature, deeply insecure, and scared that her best friend's marriage will ruin their friendship. So obviously, the wedding is a pretty big part of the story. The problem with this is that I only have my own, quite limited experience to draw from, which is making for a pretty one dimensional story.

So if you're willing to share your experiences and ideas, I'd like to know what's the worst bridal behaviour you've experienced (or can think of)? What's the worst bridal party behaviour? Best and worst wedding experiences? In what circumstances/under what conditions would you end a friendship with someone in whose BP you are, or who is in your BP?

Thanks ladies!

PS. I still can't post from my phone, but I'll be reading any responses, and I'll reply around the same time tomorrow. Just so you don't think this is a post-and-run.

PrincessOfHavoc · May 2014

Worst bride - college years coworker. If it wasn't a tantrum about water being too wet type crap, it was the dictator behavior. She demanded every single bridesmaid dye their hair to a green toned brown. Hosted five showers I knew of, and at the work shower, if it wasn't big enough of a gift, she screamed at the room. No seats at the 90 minute ceremony. Where the jeans clad minister lectured on (and I quote) how they honor God by marrying to showcase the sins of faggots. Four hour gap. College kids. Yup, hello bartender! Poor me, I was underage and the driver for four of us. Reception, we had a screaming fit about being drunk. Which might have been sad, but she was just as drunk and now wearing a non fitted napkin for a dress. Nips or Pikachu were playing peekaboo. That's when we left. But, bitch got served. Boss fired her from the general attitude from hell. We weren't friends to start with. To make this even better, it was a PPD. Of a PPD.

Bride and bridesmaid were squabbling sisters at a different wedding, so every picture has death glares involved. Bride grew a spine and stopped letting Mom demand everything. We're FB friends.

I was supposed to be an OOT maid. My mom was started on comfort sedation the day before I was to fly out. Mom had been very stable when originally asked, wasn't too sick until about 6 hours before sedation. I do get that it's a major etiquette breach, but I stepped down because I didn't want to celebrate anything then and no way was I leaving my Mommy. So I call bride's mom as I knew bride was at work. Her mom refused to dream that I was being horrible, she told me to stay home. Bride calls later and blow up how I'm ruining her wedding, we knew Mom was dying. Which is when my train wreck of emotions blew up and I'll leave that there. We aren't friends at all now.

No maid stories really. I know there had to have been nasty etiquette violations, but those were in my younger days and I didn't quite get why x was rude.

Does that help at all? For me, bad behavior usually relates to poor etiquette. If you're a good host, there's no snark on the lack of seats.

aspoonfulofsugar · May 2014

Good grief the wedding I'm in now sends me into fits of panic and makes me hold back tears during the work day. From the MOH and maids, I got a constant stream of messages (night and day). A few months ago they were doing everything via text, when I realized one month that I was just shy of hitting my 1000 text limit (I'm not a big texter). FI demanded one night I turn off my phone because he couldn't take it anymore. The messages interrupt songs if I'm using my phone to play songs for my students.

MOH told us we should each be spending $100-$125 each for our portion of the gift basket for the shower gift (there's 5 of us). We are also required to supply candy for the candy bar.... for the shower. They want to get together about once a week. This can include "planning" the shower or having a wine and cheese, shopping, or going to a baseball game with the groomsman. The bachelorette weekend will be in AC at the end of July- nothing like peak season....

The bride made us all dress shop together and decide on a dress that day. We all have to buy silver shoes, but they have to be the right shade (she turned someone's down because they were too dark). We all have to have the same hair (and it's God-awful) but we have to go to our own stylists because she only has her own. Nails done but with NO color on them. She sent out STDs less than a month after she got engaged and already declared several of those people aren't getting invited. She's also not inviting co-workers spouses because she's never met them before.

Sorry for the novel.

MobKaz · May 2014

aspoonfulofsugar said:

Good grief the wedding I'm in now sends me into fits of panic and makes me hold back tears during the work day. From the MOH and maids, I got a constant stream of messages (night and day). A few months ago they were doing everything via text, when I realized one month that I was just shy of hitting my 1000 text limit (I'm not a big texter). FI demanded one night I turn off my phone because he couldn't take it anymore. The messages interrupt songs if I'm using my phone to play songs for my students.

MOH told us we should each be spending $100-$125 each for our portion of the gift basket for the shower gift (there's 5 of us). We are also required to supply candy for the candy bar.... for the shower. They want to get together about once a week. This can include "planning" the shower or having a wine and cheese, shopping, or going to a baseball game with the groomsman. The bachelorette weekend will be in AC at the end of July- nothing like peak season....

The bride made us all dress shop together and decide on a dress that day. We all have to buy silver shoes, but they have to be the right shade (she turned someone's down because they were too dark). We all have to have the same hair (and it's God-awful) but we have to go to our own stylists because she only has her own. Nails done but with NO color on them. She sent out STDs less than a month after she got engaged and already declared several of those people aren't getting invited. She's also not inviting co-workers spouses because she's never met them before.

Sorry for the novel.

Out of curiosity, have you said "no" to any of these demands? Has anyone told this bride that unless she pays for the hair and nails, she cannot dictate how or IF you do your hair and nails?

aspoonfulofsugar · May 2014

MobKaz said:

aspoonfulofsugar said:

Good grief the wedding I'm in now sends me into fits of panic and makes me hold back tears during the work day. From the MOH and maids, I got a constant stream of messages (night and day). A few months ago they were doing everything via text, when I realized one month that I was just shy of hitting my 1000 text limit (I'm not a big texter). FI demanded one night I turn off my phone because he couldn't take it anymore. The messages interrupt songs if I'm using my phone to play songs for my students.

MOH told us we should each be spending $100-$125 each for our portion of the gift basket for the shower gift (there's 5 of us). We are also required to supply candy for the candy bar.... for the shower. They want to get together about once a week. This can include "planning" the shower or having a wine and cheese, shopping, or going to a baseball game with the groomsman. The bachelorette weekend will be in AC at the end of July- nothing like peak season....

The bride made us all dress shop together and decide on a dress that day. We all have to buy silver shoes, but they have to be the right shade (she turned someone's down because they were too dark). We all have to have the same hair (and it's God-awful) but we have to go to our own stylists because she only has her own. Nails done but with NO color on them. She sent out STDs less than a month after she got engaged and already declared several of those people aren't getting invited. She's also not inviting co-workers spouses because she's never met them before.

Sorry for the novel.

Out of curiosity, have you said "no" to any of these demands? Has anyone told this bride that unless she pays for the hair and nails, she cannot dictate how or IF you do your hair and nails?

I've told the MOH I can only afford (and it's the truth) to supply what I can for the gift and the candy bar- it's certainly not what she asked of us.

No one has told her this- I've tried speaking to her about other matters of etiquette, but she insists on doing it her way, so I don't think she'd listen.

Edited for spelling and repeated info

tortoisebride · May 2014

aspoonfulofsugar said:

Good grief the wedding I'm in now sends me into fits of panic and makes me hold back tears during the work day.

GET OUT GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN

phira · May 2014

This is mostly a spattering from my limited experience. I also suggest checking out the Worst Weddings thread over on the E board (if not for your book, at least for the pure entertainment).

- Couple getting married would get uncontrollably upset if you asked questions like, "What time is the wedding starting?" "How long does the wedding last?" "Is the wedding an indoor or outdoor wedding?" or, "What should I wear?" Their common answer, if they gave one, was, "Ugh, it's NOT a traditional wedding," as if that was an answer to the question. And then, regardless of whether or not they answered, they would either rant about how everyone was being so mean to them for not having a traditional wedding, or they'd just refuse to speak to you for a period of time.

- Bride required her bridesmaids to purchase and wear a particular dress, a specific pair of shoes, and a specific set of jewelry (earrings, bracelet, necklace). She also was requiring that bridesmaids have their hair and nails done professionally at the salon with her, and she selected the hairstyle and nail style for all of them. I was friends with one of the bridesmaids, who was an undergraduate at the time and on a work study as part of her financial aid. She was distraught because she didn't want to let the bride down, but she could barely afford the expensive dress. She was also very upset because she had natural hair, and the hairstyle selected for the bridesmaids was one that would be unattractive on her, difficult to style, and damaging for her hair.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

Worst bridal behaviour:

Wedding One, I was a BM:

-- Initially wanted a chiffon dress with a deep-V front that I was uncomfortable with due to modesty reasons; eventually the other BM and I chose a dress. The bride liked the colour, but then a week later, changed her mind and wanted us to order OTHER BM dresses, then try them on in her presence so she could pick which one she liked better.

-- Bride also thought I should get breast enhancers (I'm a B-cup; she and the other BM were DD-cups) because 'you'll look out of place with tiny boobs next to my ginormous knockers.'

-- Bride demanded a shower, which the other BM and I refused to host,so her MIL hosted it instead; it involved many people NOT invited to the wedding.

-- Bride dictated shoes (gold flip-flops), hair, nails, and make-up, but refused to pay for any of it.

-- Bride DEMANDED that the other BM cover all of her tattoos (she had a full back piece at the time, as well as work on her chest)

-- Day of the wedding, my then-BF showed up in a grey suit with a blue shirt and a blue/grey/black striped tie. She flung a fit and demanded he change, because her wedding colours were pink and green. I pointed out, not terribly nicely or tactfully, that other than her father, FI, FFIL, and FBIL, all the rest of her redneck guests were in jeans and NASCAR shirts, so my BF was better dressed than anyone else and why didn't she start with their shitty attire if she was going to be pissy about things?

-- The wedding, which was over a mealtime, had only appetizers and hors d'oeuvres, no real food.

-- She also flung a fit that I didn't take off work to attend her day-after present-opening party, at which there was, again, no food, despite it being at breakfast/brunch time.

-- No thank-you notes.

-- Our BM gift was jewellery we had to wear in the wedding.

Wedding two, I was MOH:

-- Bride was insistent she and her FI get married on the one-year anniversary of their first date, despite GLARING red flags in their relationship (they are now in marital counselling and she has had multiple calls to the cops over his behaviour.)

-- Bride paid for hair and jewellery for us as our BM gift.

-- Bride demanded a shower and bachelorette party, and informed us when our initial plans weren't up to her standards.

-- Bride bought a wedding dress not one, not two, but THREE sizes too small because she 'needed a kick to lose weight.' Bride is/was a stress-eater. The day of the wedding, it took three of us to stuff her into that dress, the modesty panel didn't close properly (thank GOD it was a corset back and I could creatively lace it to allow for extra girth), and she was spilling out the top/front/sides back like an overflowing cupcake.

Wedding Three, I was DOC:

-- Bride had a 'check list' of people who were permitted to attend the ceremony (it was being held at a golf course and she 'didn't want randos [that's not a typo; that's what she called them -- 'randos'] coming in to watch her beautiful wedding' (it wasn't that beautiful), and the groom's grandmother was not on the list, and her bouncer was going to deny gma entry, but I stepped in and had her seated and told the bouncer the bride could take it up with me.

-- Bride was a Pinterest bride. She had an 11-page, front-and-back, three-column list of 'must take' photos. They did photos before the ceremony, but no first look, then took photos for TWO-AND-A-HALF HOURS after the ceremony. Their cocktail hour ran out of food after an hour and 15 minutes. Guests began leaving, with their gifts (I've never seen people actually reach into one of those bird-cage card-holder things to fish their cards out before.) As B&G finally returned to the wedding (MOB and I took a golf cart to go get them), Bride pitched a fit that guests had left and weren't there for her 'grand entrance.' Well, sweetie, that's what happens when your wedding started at 3 p.m. and it's now 6.30 and NO ONE IS GETTING FED.

They were all cash bars, btw. every single one of them.

Those are the big ones I remember. Others that kind of stick out in my mind:

-- A 'dry' wedding in which B/G and WP were served alcohol, but not the rest of us, either hosted or cash bar.

-- A friend's wedding for which the invitation said 6 p.m., but they really meant 6.30 or 6.45, and the fake time was because the groom's family is notoriously late. DH (then FI) and I were there at 5.30 for this wedding, and then we got to sit for an hour.

If I think of others, I'll let you know!

aspoonfulofsugar · May 2014

shrekspeare said:

When I very first started wedding planning I was completely overwhelmed and anxious. My grandma had been diagnosed with cancer and I had no idea how I was going to put my wedding together in six months or so and I didn't have anyone able to help me. Even thinking about it now gets me anxious and worked up.

Anyway, I had a total meltdown because my MOH and BMs were really tall, like 6 foot, and my other BM is like, four foot nothing because she's quite young. I was concerned it was going to look really weird in the pictures (which it does, so there!), and I seriously stressed about it for weeks. I mean, weeks. Some of the ladies here suggested lobbing off my MOH and BMs at the knees, which was unhelpful, but definitely helped put everything into perspective. Sure it looks weird and really bothers me, but it's not like the end of the world. Anndd that's like, the least Bridezillia-esque behavior I think I had.

Also, on the Worst Wedding board on SB, I posted about DH's cousin who wouldn't allow her crippled, wheelchair bound sister in the pictures because the wheelchair would make her photos look tacky. Bride's father eventually caved and got a nice chair that Bride would allow in the pictures-we all waited outside for like an hour while this was happening. At the end of the 3 hour picture session, Bride noticed DH's insulin pump cord sticking out of his pocket and had a complete conniption fit. Made DH and all the GM stay and retake the pictures for another two hours. Which helped fill in some of the 7 HOUR GAP (hey lurkers, DON'T HAVE A GODDAMN GAP). The other hours were spent sleeping in the church's pews.

Stop it. Oh my God. That just takes the cake.

afox007 · May 2014

Too lazy to rewrite it so I just copied my first ever discussion:

Been lurking for a bit, but after the past few days just need to vent. I was thrilled to be asked to be the MOH for my close friend of 15 years. Apparently she decided MOH and wedding planenr are the same thing because the morning after I said yes I woke up to an email containing a wedding checklist with my responsibilities highlighted. I was shocked, but agreed to do it since most could be done simultaneously with my own planning (finding venues, center piece ideas, etc).

Fast forward a few months to our three day weekend of looking at venues for her (all of which I found and made appointments with). I honestly have no clue if she liked any of them since she did not say one word to anyone the whole time we were looking. She got even better during lunch when she told me to start saving up for the bachelorette party because we were all going to Disneyland. I pointed out she can't plan her our party and she said she knows and that she's SOO happy to know I'll do a great job planning a girls weekend to Disneyland for us. At this point I finally put my foot down and said I knew none of her BMs had the money to do this including me (plus as a stay home mom if I found money for Disney I'd be taking my FI and our son). She threw a mini tantrum about how it's her day and this is the ONLY acceptable option for her party.

When she calmed down a few minutes later she changed the subject asking me for suggestions on how to get a few of her BMs to lose weight before the wedding since she wants everyone to look good in the pics. I tried explaining that she can't so she decided since their two BMs and apparently me who all have a few pounds to lose her "gift" to us will be to schedule us all for a group fitness bootcamp. Other demands to ensure her pictures come out great include already having worked out a discount for us to get our hair cut and colored the week of the wedding (at our expense) and telling me I will have to go out and buy flats since I can't wear heels or I will be way taller than everyone else and it will look uneven.

By the time I went home I was ready to bail on bridezilla and her wedding, but decided against it since I didn't want to hurt the friendship. I got a call last night telling me she thought about it and has decided that since I'm not working and have a kid this may not be the best time financially for me to be a part of her wedding and she doesn't want to have to spend her big day adhering to MY demands. Couldn't be happier, but seriously WTF?!

climbingsingle · May 2014

When my brother was engaged to his ex-fiance, she picked out a BM dress without anyone's input. The dress cost $400. She then demanded her parents throw them an engagement party. She had every member of the bridal party give a speech at the party. It went on forever and it was so uncomfortable.

I was in another friend's wedding 2 years ago. She kicked out a bridesmaid because she couldn't make it to the first trying on dress appointment.

Her MOH (sister) basically assigned us jobs for the bridal shower without even asking our input. I had to assemble the wishing well and then decorate wine bottles. I'm the least crafty person in the world, BTW.

The bach party was also planned without anyone's input. We were told that we'd be doing a spa day, then lunch, then checking into a hotel and going out for dinner and then drinks. The whole day would have cost me $500. I only attended dinner and drinks.

Bride wanted to go out drinking after the rehearsal dinner, even though we had to be at her house early the next morning to get ready. She threw a fit when we all wanted to leave at 10pm.

Next day we had to take pictures outside. In February. In New York. In strapless dresses. In windy 20 degree weather.

Our gift was jewelry that she insisted we wear the day of.

The reception was a 45 minute drive from the church.

And the bride called me after the wedding to complain that a mutual friend didn't give her a gift. And she then called said mutual friend to ask her why she didn't give her a gift.

ETA: She also stopped speaking to another friend because she couldn't attend the bridal shower.

beethery · May 2014

Leading up to the wedding of FBIL (FI's brother) and FSIL (FBIL's wife), her family was awful. It came to a head during the bachelor/bachelorette party planning. I was out of town for the event (praise the lawd), but I got the full rundown from FI.Her older sister was the MOH, and she was outwardly jealous and pissy that she was not getting married first. She is still mad about that almost a year later.

Bachelor/Bachelorette party planning:

FI is arranging the bachelor party. The plan is for FBIL, FI, FOB and BOBs (brothers of the bride), and my FFIL, plus a few of FI and FBIL's friends to go golfing, and then get dinner. Then FI, FBIL, BOBs, and friends are going to hit a couple bars. Strip club is not allowed, no one super cares. Goal: get FBIL kind of drunk, since he is otherwise completely forbidden to drink by FSIL, and have a good time.

So, FSIL calls FMIL. She is crying, and extremely upset/angry, and wants to go to the bachelor party.FMIL tries to calm her down, and asks why FSIL wants to go so bad, why is she so furious?
Well, MOH (who has never been to a bar, so I have no idea how she'd fucking have this info to begin with) told FSIL that when bachelor parties go to bars, there are groups of girls who when they hear a guy is going to get married, they will flash him and try to have sex with him and get him to touch their boobs! QUELLE HORREUR!!!! The end is nigh!

FMIL tells FSIL that is patently false, FI has to explain to her as well, that nothing like that is going to happen, and also where this bar is, because we would like to visit. FSIL chills out on it, I have no idea if she said anything to MOH (I doubt it), but she finally feels confident in her relationship of 7 years that FBIL is not about to go score some strange.

Alright, so the day of the bachelor party, I am out of town. FI starts texting me at 3pm because he needs to vent. The golf outing was supposed to start at 1:30pm. FOB and BOBs didn't show up until 2:45, then called FI to tear him a new one for not waiting for them for an hour and a half. How nice.

Golf finishes up, and they go to dinner. FFIL got drunk and yelled at FI for being too drunk to drive (FI wasn't drinking because he was driving FBIL and others, and had decided to be DD for the night so that everyone else could enjoy themselves). FOB, FFIL (and all the extra non-golfing people that FFIL invited to the golf outing) leave after dinner, and what is supposed to be the fun part of the bachelor party commences.

One of the BOBs has rented a stretch hummer to escort FSIL and MOH to a comedy show in Boston. The bachelor party group goes to a bar, everyone is buying FBIL shots and beers, and they move on to the next bar. One of FBILs friends is shmaaaammmerrrred, and has short-dude syndrome where he's trying to fight people and is generally being a ween. He gets them kicked out of one bar, so they go to the next. He is not being allowed in. One of the BOBs is trying to mack on the ~ladies~ (funny, he's married), and FBIL is annihilated by this point.

This is where MOH starts up her bullshit again. FSIL texts my FI after her comedy show to ask how FBIL is doing, FI responds 'Drunk, but pretty happy'. FSIL doesn't care, because she knows this was the plan.

MOH loses it. She calls FBIL and starts screaming at him for being a drunk piece of shit, who is not good enough to be a part of this family. He is not good enough for FSIL, because he drinks and goes out and PARTIES ALL THE TIME!!! (this is funny because FBIL and FSIL do not go out ever. They don't even go out to eat unless someone else is buying). She calls FI and screams at him for about 5 seconds before he hangs up on her. She sends many angry texts that are ignored.

MOH and FSIL are on their way back home, but instead decide to go to the city that the bachelor party is happening at. They show up at the bar (one of the BOBs told MOH where they were), and MOH gets in FIs face for having a party at a BAR, and then has to be pulled away from FBIL because she is trying to attack him. Everyone eventually leaves.

--

Wedding rehearsal day, probably 2 weeks after the bachelor party fiasco:

At the ceremony venue, the caretaker of this super-old, very rarely used church has given them a super strict 1 hour time slot for their rehearsal. Get in, decide where everyone is going to stand (huge WP with all of FSIL's shitty siblings, my FI, FBIL's one friend, and FSIL's black sheep cousin), decide how everyone is coming in and out, run through the vows, etc, and then GTFO.

FOB shows up 20 minutes late, BOBs show up another 10 minutes after that. Ok. Where the hell is MOH and MOB? Oh they're getting their nails done a couple towns over. Oh. FOB, BOBs, and MOH live in the same town as this church.

MOH and MOB show up 50 minutes late. They had known about the rehearsal and everything for a month, and couldn't go get their nails done the day before, or that morning, or any other time. MOH made the appointment to start one half hour before the rehearsal in a town that is 20 minutes from the rehearsal site. She is still pissed that she has to walk up the aisle with FI, and does everything possible to make the last 8 minutes she is present for drag ass.

MOH screamed at FI and FBIL for not wanting to ride in the stretch hummer (the same one as before, arranged by one of the BOBs) from FBIL/FSILs house to the church. It is a 7 minute drive. They had seen the stretch hummer and after giving it a once-over, decided that the cracked support rails in it were a good enough reason not to want to go near it.

FI and FBIL arrived 10 minutes prior to when the ceremony was supposed to start. FSIL and the rest of her shitty family who rode in the limo showed up 45 minutes after the ceremony was supposed to start.

MOH gave a speech at the reception about how FSIL and FBIL met, and how she never really liked him but that she had to get used to it now. FOB gave a speech thanking everyone for showing up at the wedding that his family had worked so hard to make happen.*

*FOB and BOBs borrowed heavily from the money FSIL saved up to pay for the wedding. She is a doormat, and when pressed to pay for new living room furniture for her parents and told that her brother needed a $5000 loan, she caved. FOB has not paid her back, and brother gave her a used car from his mechanic shop worth $1200, and told her they were square.

I am so fucking excited that I'm not blood related to them. Yay!

LadyMillil · May 2014

This might come off as vent/ranty, but hopefully it helps.

Background - My sister is an AW and every time something happens that would make me the centre of attention she does whatever it takes to bring the attention back to her.

I get engaged and start planning my wedding. Sister decides she "would really like to have a wedding" so she starts putting pressure on her BF to propose, along the lines of he doesn't really love her if they aren't engaged yet. All she can talk about is her wedding. I tell her something about my wedding and her response is "this is what we're doing at our wedding". She is not engaged.

I live out of province from where my wedding is. I went back for 3 days to get everything done, including buying bridesmaid dresses. BF, sis and mom go to DB. Sis tries on her BM dress then tries to get the consultant to let her try on wedding dress. She is not engaged.

She gets engaged and tells me (not asks) that I will be MOH. Once she locks down the BMs she sends a FB message with the dress info. No one has tried the dress on, budget hasn't been talked about, but this is the dress. She calls DB and finds out the dress is being discontinued. She DEMANDS everyone drops what they are doing and immediately goes to DB to get the dress. The dress is sold out in everybody else's size, so she needs to find a new dress. She spends the next day sending FB messages with new dress ideas. She doesn't want input on this, just wants BMs to see what she is thinking. She decides on the dress, again without actually going to a store and seeing the dress and having people try it on. All the BMs have very different builds so it is doubtful that this dress will flatter anyone, and the price is very high. She wants everyone to buy the dress immediately, even though the wedding is over 9 months away. Then she starts sending info on the shoes she wants everyone to buy. They are sneakers and do not match the formality of the cocktail dress she has chosen. Then it's info on the hair styles she wants, then the make up, then the manicures, and then accessories. The cost of everything is well over $500 now.

I tell her privately that I'm not comfortable with the attire and that I can't afford everything she is asking on top of the flight for her wedding and the bridal shower and bachelorette she is demanding (I'm not sure how I'm supposed to host these when I live outside the province, but I sure as hell wasn't' going to fly in at $700 a flight for anything other than a wedding). SHe tells me that it is her wedding so I should do what she wants, and that I should make cuts on what I am spending on my own wedding as well as how many vacation days I'm taking for my wedding and honeymoon so I can be there for everything necessary for her wedding. I take time to think about if I actually want to stand up for her because she is stressing me out, and don't respond to her messages. I am planning my wedding that is 3 months away at this point, and am working 14 hour days at work, so I don't need this added stress.

She starts freaking out that I am not responding to her texts and begins sending me texts, FB messages and emails about needing to get the dress ASAP because she is stressed that I haven't bought it yet. Her wedding is 9 months away and the order deadline is 6 months away. The bridal shop is a 2 hour drive from where I live and I don't have the time or money to deal with that. I tell her that I'm super busy and that I don't have the time to plan my own wedding right now, so hers really is not a priority, and that I don't have the money to buy the dress. I ask her to wait a couple weeks so I can get past this busy time at work. She doesn't care and gives me a 1 week deadline to buy the dress or I can't be in the wedding. I reiterate that I don't have the time or money, and that I am really very uncomfortable with the uniform she has picked. She tells me "it's my wedding, this is want I want. The pictures will look awesome. Why are you trying to ruin my wedding". I said I don't need to be in the awesome pictures, but I would like to be a part of your wedding and am told that I have to be in every single perfect Pinterest picture that she wants, wearing every single piece of the BM uniform, and that she doesn't care what I am comfortable with because this is HER WEDDING.

At this point, I tell her I will not be purchasing the dress by her deadline, so I guess I can't be in her wedding. We had a rocky relationship to begin with, but this has destroyed that. I only talk to her when absolutely necessary, and I don't think I'll be attending the wedding.

phira · May 2014

@beethry I think I was dying of OMG by the time I hit QUELLE HORREUR.

@LadyMillil That is really, really horrible. Like ... I can't even.

beethery · May 2014

@LadyMillil and others with stories like that make me incredibly grateful I don't have siblings. Because if they did that kind of shit, I would not have siblings for very long afterward.

lizandmark2014 · May 2014

I will share my moms wedding story. She is the oldest of 5. In June of 1973 her sister (2 years younger) spent most of the reception crying because she was not the one getting married.

doeydo · May 2014

You should watch bridezillas for research. Some of the shit on that show is unreal.

lizandmark2014 · May 2014

Sorry for the post and run. She also missed the family photo after the ceremony.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

doeydo said:

You should watch bridezillas for research. Some of the shit on that show is unreal.

OP is in South Africa, so that might not be an option. I have no idea if that show airs in S.A.

KytchynWitche · May 2014

Thanks for all the responses everyone! You're all awesome.

I didn't mean to PnR, I spent most of Thursday and all of Friday camped out in the bathroom, and the last three days catching up on chores and getting everything ready for my mom's visit this weekend.

I don't think we get Bridezillas here, but I'll keep my eyes open for it!

NWR: Care to share? AKA Help please, if you will.

Re: NWR: Care to share? AKA Help please, if you will.

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