Wedding RSVP

meganhays · May 2014

I recently received an engagement party RSVP request to an email. It looked classy and was very practical. We are considering doing this for our wedding invitations to save money but I'm concerned my guests will find it tacky....any thoughts?

afaber24 · May 2014

It's less formal, but not tacky. You just need to have an alternative option for guests who are not email savvy. Also, be prepared for fewer people to respond, so you might need to make more follow up calls.

Definitely saves money and paper though!

manateehugger · May 2014

I prefer an RSVP card (look into post cards to save money) but email RSVP is fine. I'd throw a phone number on there too if you have guests who aren't email.

Also be aware that many will find this option less formal.

HisGirlFriday13 · May 2014

I think this:

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1019794/rsvp-regret

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/76466/email-rsvp

I would find it slightly tacky -- your wedding is more formal than, say, a Derby Day party -- and I would assume your event is very casual. There are lots of ways to do invitations cheaply; resorting to e-mail just drags down the formality of the event.

Maggie0829 · May 2014

How formal of a wedding do you want? Because if you do online RSVPs then your wedding shouldn't be exceptionally formal, and probably geared more towards the casual side.

But are online RSVPs tacky? No, but they aren't the norm so your guests may be a bit confused and will also be expecting a casual affair.

[Deleted User] · May 2014

I'm not clear if the invite was done via email or if the RSVP portion is via email. I will share you the store one of my friends told me. She was the bridesmaid in a wedding where the bride was trying to save money & make things easier. So they sent out paper invites to the wedding but instead of including a reply card they provided an website or email address that people could respond too. She got 3 responses via the internet. She ended up having to call the rest of her guests to confirm if they were coming or not. People forgot to RSVP online because they are use to getting reply cards to write on & drop off in mail. I guess seeing a reply card on your counter reminds you that you need to send it.

You also have to take into consideration how tech savy your guests are. Like will grandma or Great Aunt Jane be able to rsvp?

AddieCake · May 2014

Not tacky, no, but I always feel that weddings deserve better than online correspondence, no matter how informal they are.

SewInLoveWithDMB · May 2014

I would not fit it tacky and would not judge it. I would think you were being either environmentally smart or just practical in general. To me, a pre-postaged rsvp is a bit tacky - I much prefer responding on one's own stationery and writing a message rather than checking a box for "chicken." But that is another issue.

You have to know your crowd. If you believe your guests own computers and know how to use them, then go for it. Also, the notion of people not responding as quickly because it is an email response rather than paper is not valid. We did do pre-postaged rsvps (it wasn't something I truly cared about) and some people sent them in immediately, while others didn't. Some even emailed me/facebook messaged me saying that they lost the rsvp/invite and that they were/were not coming.

In the end, I didn't care how people told me that they were or were not coming - all that mattered is that they told me.

phira · May 2014

We're planning on doing RSVP through our wedding website, or over the phone. Still not 100% sure, though.

I don't think it's tacky, and I don't think it's too informal or inappropriate for a wedding. I think that we're shifting towards online correspondence as normal correspondence, and that this issue will be a non-issue within 10-15 years (especially with available e-correspondence options like Paperless Post, which are designed to look like paper invitations).

I do think that, at least in this day and age, if you're not going to provide a way to mail an RSVP (enveloped card or postcard), you should provide more than one RSVP method. A friend of mine got married last year and the only (official) way to RSVP was by calling her mother. I really did not want to call her mother, whom I'd never met, especially since I wasn't going to be attending the wedding. I ended up chickening out and contacting my friend over instant message.

So if you're going to ask for RSVP by email, I'd also include a phone number for people who prefer to call or really hate email RSVPs. If you're going to ask for RSVP by phone, I'd include an electronic way to RSVP so that awkward, introverted people like me don't have to call.

huskypuppy14 · May 2014

Also, an engagement party or shower RSVP to email is quite different than a wedding.

Jen4948 · May 2014

A wedding RSVP by email in and of itself I would not side-eye unless it was the only means of RSVPing specified in the invitation.

First, it's less formal and people tend to take electronic RSVPs less seriously, and second, some people can't or won't use computers and/or the Internet and won't RSVP that way. They need paper or phone RSVPs. My BF's mother is such a person. I have a cousin who is another such person.

Megalega14 · May 2014

I agree with PPs , I used post cards,they were super cute, and cheaper postage.! Also, if that's your real name, I would change it for privacy and protection .. Good luck!

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